Sup sup. I worked a little later than usual today and we have a pretty short list of offers for this week, so let’s get right into it:
The Good: DOUBLE WHAMMY ALERT! Abie, Abie, Abie, the moves are off the chart, you’re killin’ it. If you’ve read this column before, you know how I feel about the savvy defense streams, and this is up there with some of the best. The Cowboys are a new Opponent people are looking for in a defense week-to-week, and the divisional matchup paid off in dividends for HOCKEYPRO69. Six bucks is a modest but not crazy offer for a player you might immediately drop, as shown by Andrew V’s competing $3 bid. As you can see above, big point returns in both categories. To top it off, he had a big win this week, and this is one of the steps he took that solidified it.
Next, we have our resident e-boy wiggle dicker, Ryan O’Connell. The Martian went into this week’s auction hopeful for a few quick position player pick-ups in Sterling Shepherd and Carlos Hyde. He bidded low – as he should have – and unfortunately lost out to higher bidders named Alex and Brent. They both sat the guys they spent their money on, Ryan took his $7 and ran. On to the waiver wire, he immediately dropped Dalton Schultz (an earlier auction grab) and picked up Curtis Samuel. Go Bucks. I had him last year for a little while in one league or another, he always flies a little under the radar. Had an okay season last year, but got demoted like Dwayne Haskins when “Big Robby Anderson” came to town. This week though, he played just like he did when he was a whipper-snapper catching passes in Columbus. This nearly 20 point performance put Marzy over the top for a big win. Makes it seem like he DOESN’T want to do more Tik Tok dances 😉
Lastly, we have the Commish, who is definitely Back. A few good moves can turn into one great move, textbook case here for our fearless leader. First, he picked up Joey Burrow for a very solid performance (no double whammy bc the player he dropped was on a bye), then he grabbed the Saints defense for nobody and got a cool se7en points from them. These both contributed to him being the victor of the Battle of the Blackouts II. You missed out on the Eagles defense which would’ve give you and even more commanding win, but you saved $3 and I like where your head is at.
The Bad: Brent left Week 8 looking to shake things up, and for good reason. First, he lost out on Joe Burrow and had to settle for Derek Carr, who put up 7.46 less points. Then he bought Carlos Hyde who is…injured? Got injured? I’m not entirely sure, go Bucks. He also left some points on the bench in the form of Jarvis Landry and Tony Pollard. Who knows, a few better moves on his part, Abie doesn’t make the moves that he does, and you could’ve held onto a win and prolonged your view from the top. It’s a long fall from there, just saying. I won’t tell you how to spend your FAAB, but seems like trades get you better players 🙂
The Ugly: These moves were just awful, backfired entirely. Any good feeling these owners had related to these moves went unfulfilled, you really do hate to see it but it happens. We’ll start with Yours Truly, who picked up Demarcus Robinson just one week too early. Scotty Miller vs. the Giants with Chris Godwin out? To me that is the most appetizing pick-up since I-don’t-know-when. Bye Demarcus, hello first place in the division. I stayed up all Monday Night to watch this 3 on 2 finisher between me and Max, pitting teammates against teammates and Graham Gano against Danny Dimes. Ronald Jones fumble at the beginning, fuckin Mike Evans touchdown at the end, Scotty gets looks but ends up with a meager 5.7. Just torture. Oh, Demarcus? FOURTEEN POINT THREE. Max and I are not on speaking terms but I’m really just mad at…myself.
Beans buddy, savin up your FAAB isn’t the worst decision ever. What IS the worst decision is to drop Mecole Hardman the week that Patrick Mahomes decides to come back. You picked up Nelson Agholor and kept him on the bench, but the Hard Man scored even more points this week than Demarcus! Nineteen point fuckin one. You too would’ve held on a little longer to your secondary dominance of the League and your division. Better hope Dalvin keeps putting the team on his back.
Best for last, right? Come on, you’ve been reading it, you know which direction this list is going. By far, the biggest spender this week was Alex. 20 for his 40 dollars sat on the bench, both giving above-projection performances. Corey Davis must’ve had pigskin magnets on his gloves because he almost picked up 25 points in the best game of his season. The one player he did decide to play was Henry Ruggs III, who disappointed Henry Ruggs II and Henry Ruggs I by scoring a measly 1.9. In the process of that trainwreck, Mike Williams got a casual 18.5 for no one. Would that have saved Alex’s week? No, but it adds insult to injury. I’d say better luck next week, but we’re playing each other so maybe wait until Week 10 to fix this nose-dive of a run.
Well, that’s my story. Short, sweet, and to the point. I’m gonna go watch Arrested Development, or Clone High, or maybe Jojo’s Bizzare Adventure. Live from my work-from-home desk, this has been The Wire.
Must Be Sunday 