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In an effort to save time, and effort, I am letting a super computer write our weekly recaps now.

Claude, the floor is yours.

Week 4 Fantasy Recap: Where Dreams Go to Get Benched

Matchup 1: Let A Naber Know vs. THE Norse Horse

Let A Naber Know 124.32, THE Norse Horse 94.54

Let A Naber Know wins, and the real story is Norse Horse’s lineup card, which reads like a crime scene. Ja’Marr Chase, Ladd McConkey, and Kenyon Sadiq combined for 4.2 points, which is what you’d get from three guys who stayed home. Sadiq and McConkey each put up a perfect, immaculate zero. That’s discipline.

The tragedy is the bench. Drake Maye dropped 26.16 while sitting next to Tyler Shough’s 15.94, and Rome Odunze (12.4) and Jared Goff (20.48) also rotted on the pine. Norse Horse’s bench outscored the starters at the FLEX, WR, and RB/WR spots combined. Great news for next week: he can simply start his bench. Bad news: he won’t.

Let A Naber Know had a perfectly fine week, thanks mostly to Rhamondre Stevenson, Malik Nabers (20.2), and a kicker who only went 3.0 and still wasn’t the problem. Congrats on the win, you left 13.56 points on your bench in Bo Nix, which you did not need and I don’t understand.

Matchup 2: Trevvy McLawrence vs. Gay for Tay

Trevvy McLawrence 86.38, Gay for Tay 141.32

This was a blowout of historic cruelty. Trevvy started Saquon Barkley, who gave him 1.5 points. Saquon! The man you drafted in the second round! Dalton Kincaid added 1.2, and Stefon Diggs chipped in a 6.0 as the cherry on a very sad sundae.

Meanwhile Trevvy left 17.0 from Carnell Tate and 13.08 from Trevor Lawrence on the bench. Trevor Lawrence is literally in the team name. You benched your own namesake. The disrespect.

Gay for Tay rolled behind Nico Collins (27.3), Jonathan Taylor (22.2), and Quinshon Judkins (18.6). Josh Allen threw for 18.52 in a loss, which is the most Josh Allen sentence possible. Dalton Schultz scored 1.9, but nobody was keeping score by then.

Matchup 3: WR vs. The Reason We Have Rules

WR 122.9, The Reason We Have Rules 143.38

Team WR’s best player is a guy named CeeDee Lamb, who scored 32.8 and still lost. That’s an act of cosmic violence. Meanwhile the other Dallas Cowboys were busy making The Reason We Have Rules rich, with Javonte Williams going for a casual 28.8 and George Pickens contributing a lukewarm 8.5.

The funniest part is that Rules left Brian Robinson Jr. on the bench for 25.2 points. He had a 25-point bench player and still won by 20, which feels like bringing a spare Ferrari to a go-kart race. Jake Bates the kicker scored 18.0, and a kicker outscoring most of your WRs is the kind of thing that ruins friendships.

WR, I have to ask: Josh Downs for 3.1 and Darren Waller for 5.1? You are a team named WR and your wide receivers were the problem. That’s an identity crisis.

Matchup 4: South Jersey 4th n’ Schlong vs. THE Notorious B.H.G.

South Jersey 70.42, Notorious B.H.G. 129.36

I’m going to say this gently: South Jersey scored 70 points and had a 25.5-point game from Emanuel Wilson sitting on the bench. He also had Rashee Rice at 0.0, Travis Kelce at 2.5, and a kicker who earned 5.0. Combined, the team looked less like a fantasy roster and more like a group chat that stopped responding.

The Notorious B.H.G. rode Kenneth Walker III (30.4), Bryce Young (21.46), and Zay Flowers (21.8). Yes, Bryce Young. We’re living in the good timeline. B.H.G. also has Tyreek Hill on the bench listed as a free agent, so apparently he’s finally been forced into the same emotional journey as everyone else.

Please also appreciate that B.H.G.’s Bills D/ST scored 1.0 and Caleb Williams is sitting on his IR. Those are choices, and somehow they still won by 59.

Matchup 5: Buffalo Bonez vs. Abella DangerRuss

Buffalo Bonez 130.2, Abella DangerRuss 152.08

The best matchup of the week on paper, and Abella DangerRuss cooked. Tetairoa McMillan dropped 38.2 and Kyren Williams added 31.7. Together that’s 69.9 points from two players, which is almost more than South Jersey’s entire starting lineup managed. Abella DangerRuss didn’t beat Buffalo Bonez, he lapped them while eating a sandwich.

Buffalo Bonez has a legitimate gripe: Joe Burrow scored 23.72 on the bench and Kyle Monangai (27.5!) sat there smiling. That’s 51.2 points of sadness. You lost by 21.9. Do the math and then go lie down.

Credit to Bijan Robinson, who torched New Orleans for 27.2, and Ka’imi Fairbairn, who scored 16.0 on kicks alone. Patrick Mahomes got 17.0 and Chiefs D got 1.0, the full Kansas City experience.

Awards Ceremony

Biggest Blowout: Gay for Tay over Trevvy McLawrence by 55. Brutal.

Closest Game: Let A Naber Know over Norse Horse. Okay, it’s not close, but it was the second tightest. Nobody had a close game this week. Your league has the competitive balance of the Harlem Globetrotters.

Best Bench Regret: Norse Horse. Drake Maye (26.16) and Jared Goff (20.48) both rode the pine while Ja’Marr Chase put up 4.2. Put that on a plaque.

Hero of the Week: Tetairoa McMillan, 38.2 points, a name nobody can spell correctly on the first try.

Villain of the Week: Saquon Barkley, 1.5 points. Sit down.

Everyone return next week with fresh optimism and the same bad decisions.

Three 2-0 starts. One 1-1 team. Two defending champions unbeaten. One knockout team still alive.

Week 2 is officially in the books, and across my four normal head-to-head leagues, the record is 7-1. As President William Henry Harrison once said: Ladies and gentlemen, the state of the union is strong. Also, I’m probably going to live for much, much longer.

Continue reading “State of the Union: Week 2 Is Official, and the Portfolio Is 7-1”

Last week, I split the waiver wire into two different questions. In the September 15 column, I froze a market prediction and a separate recommendation board. Then the September 16 receipts post graded what fantasy managers actually did.

The structure stays the same this week, with one addition: before making new calls, I have to grade whether last week’s recommendations survived another game.

Continue reading “Week 3 Waiver Wire: Who Everyone Will Add — and Who They Should”

We Froze the Board. The Waiver Wire Gave Us an Answer.

Last week, we tried to predict the Week 1 waiver frenzy before a snap was played. Tuesday, we froze a new market board and separately made our actual waiver recommendations. Wednesday gives us the first receipts.

The point of this series is simple: write down the calls before we know the answers, then grade the calls we actually made. No reranking after the fact. No replacing a frozen prediction with a looser version that happens to fit the result.

Continue reading “We Froze the Board. The Waiver Wire Gave Us an Answer.”

Last week, we published a prediction before the NFL had given us a single snap of evidence. Using the Waiver-Frenzy Score, we froze the three players we believed would set off the biggest post–Week 1 waiver frenzy — Dontayvion Wicks, George Holani and Malik Washington — and put them on the record before kickoff. That was the experiment on hard mode: no box scores, no usage, no injuries, just an attempt to forecast the market blind. The score wasn't designed to name the highest-scoring players, and it wasn't recommending who you should add. It was trying to predict the market.

The games have now been played, and that flips the exercise entirely. Today's predictions are the opposite of last week's — we're no longer guessing what Week 1 might produce, we're reacting to what it did. In theory, that should make the market easier to read. Whether last week's blind version actually worked is a question we answer tomorrow, not today.

Continue reading “Week 2 Waiver Wire: Who Everyone Will Add — and Who They Should”

NEW YORK – A fantasy football team never looks better than it does right before the first Sunday of the season. There is so much hope and optimism for a big year, just like a nerd has on the first day of school. Unfortunately, some people have to learn about swirlies the hard way. 

Week 1 of the 2026 NFL season gave us some history as Sunday was the highest scoring day ever in the league. According to FOX Sports, the slate produced an average of 53.3 points per game. To reach that type of peak, you need a whole lot of touchdowns.

In a gold rush of scoring, Brent and Abie put up historic weeks. 

(No. 1) Brent

Led by Caleb Williams’ insane 37-point day, plus 32.6 from Kenneth Walker and 31.9 from D’Andre Swift, Brent put up a staggering 190.06 points. All in, the Gotkin squad had five starters end the week with at least 23 points. I know that it isn’t the highest scoring week in league history, but I don’t know exactly where it stands. Jack hasn’t run the numbers in a while. 

(No. 2) Abie

Finishing in a very respectable second place this week was Abie with 174.36. Powered by 35.66 points from New York’s only true quarterback, the Gay for Tay crew tallied four 20-point scorers. Las Vegas star RB Ashton Jeanty proved all the doubters wrong, finishing just 0.3 points shy of that elusive 30.

(No. 3) Max

Only one other team finished Week 1 above the 130-point threshold. I don’t want to offend Kris and spend too much time talking about my own team, so all I’m going to say is that it sucks to put up 137 and lose. 

Side note: Kris would have beaten Thomas if he started Dalton Kincaid over Michael Mayer. I would have said something about starting any of his bench players instead of Ja’Marr but that would just be rude and insane. 

Here’s how the rest of the week’s scoring finished up:

Three squads (Ryan, Andrew and Lebron) couldn’t crack triple digits. Guys, keep your heads up. It’s a long season.

While we’re talking about losers, let me quickly dive into Lebron’s disaster week. Only one position player finished with at least 10 points, that would be CMC at 11.3. Somehow, that wasn’t Lebron’s highest-scoring starter as the Steelers’ D went off for 19 points. Worst of all, Lebron left A LOT of points on the bench, 68.2 to be exact. I think it’s safe to say he will be starting Brock Purdy, Isaiah Likely and Rhamondre Stevenson in Week 2.

Here is how we enter Week 2:

C Hood Westside

RK	TEAM	W	L	T	PCT	GB	PLAYOFF %
1	THE Notorious B.H.G.	1	0	0	1.000	—	75
2	Buffalo Bonez	1	0	0	1.000	—	61
3	South Jersey 4th n’ Schlo…	1	0	0	1.000	—	73
4	THE Norse Horse	0	1	0	.000	1	47
5	Let A Naber Know	0	1	0	.000	1	49

C Hood Eastside

RK	TEAM	W	L	T	PCT	GB	PLAYOFF %
1	Gay for Tay	1	0	0	1.000	—	76
2	Trevvy McLawrence	1	0	0	1.000	—	68
3	WR	0	1	0	.000	1	49
4	The Reason We Have Rules	0	1	0	.000	1	51
5	Abella DangerRuss	0	1	0	.000	1	51

For more on Week 1, be sure to listen to the league’s official podcast.

What 10 years of waiver-wire breakouts can teach us about 2026

Every September, fantasy football managers do the same thing.

Continue reading “Stop Chasing Week 1 Points”

Every September, 32 NFL head coaches report for work. All 32 have plans. They have laminated play sheets, leadership councils and culture. They spent the entire summer telling reporters that their third-year guard is “in the best shape of his life.”

Some of these men will be unemployed by Halloween.

Continue reading “For Sale: Coaches’ Shoes, Hardly Worn – A Look at Which Coaches Will be Fired When”

There are few feelings in life better than finding out you have the first pick in your fantasy football draft. Maybe the birth of a child. Maybe watching the Berlin Wall crumble. Maybe walking into 11 and A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie daps you up and brings you on stage to rap “My Shit” with him. I don’t know. But 1.01 is up there.

Continue reading “Is Having the First Pick Good?”