I wasn’t going to do this. I didn’t think I needed to. The results speak for themselves. Don’t they? I only read the article itself once but the words are engraved in my brain like my home phone number, my mother’s birthday or how many red zone receptions Miles Sanders has had the last two years. Yeah, you’re all in big trouble
When I went to godaddy.com in August 2020 and registered the domain name MustBeSunday.com I didn’t think my own website but used to write absolute liable attacking me and my character. From my own podcast co-host no less. Et tu, Brute?
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last 15 days you know what I’m talking about. Our commissioner took it upon himself to list what he believes is the power rankings of all members of the The League based on past performance. If you haven’t seen this I suggest you check it out before proceeding with this article: https://mustbesunday.com/2021/08/09/preseason-power-rankings/
I assume you know how to read if you’re reading this. Since you know how to read and you just read or reread the rankings you likely need major reconstructive jaw surgery, a la Max Cohan, because how hard yours just hit the floor after reading that. Beans Corp, the cream of the crop, fourth. Huh?
First the fat boys break up now every day I wake up and somebody’s got a problem with Hov. Let’s break it down.
“The peaks have been majestic- routine top finishes, multiple division championships and even a championship to show for it.” Fact check – true.
“But the valleys, and there have been plenty, have been damaging.” Fact check – huh? Plenty of valleys? 2016 – lost in semifinals, 2017 – lost in championship, 2018 – won championship, 2019 – missed playoffs, 2020 – lost in championship? That’s pretty fucking far above sea level if you ask me. I have to sleep in a high altitude chamber like Michael Phelps to prepare myself for all of the peaks. I’ve been doing it since I was a baby. I legitimately don’t even like to drive down hills because I just don’t play like that to be honest.
Our commissioner then raises the, on the surface level, very valid concern about the large trade between Ryan and I around week five or so last year. Of course, in retrospect, it’s easy to say that CEH isn’t comparable to Chubb. Of course. My response to that is I traded Chubb shortly after he injured his knee. The initial timetable wasn’t looking good and I play fantasy to win each week. I needed a body and CEH was better than anyone on the waiver wire. Chubb wasn’t back until week 11. Needed to be done. It was also a much bigger trade than just those two straight up. I flipped Tua for Matt Ryan (both stink, at the time it made sense – Dak had also been hurt). I also wouldn’t have made the playoffs without Marvin Jones Jr. That is a fact.
“There really was no chance competing for a championship.” But … I did? I was a Tannehill touchdown away or so from probably winning the championship.
“I for one felt that Bean’s relied to heavily on Dalvin Cook’s old man knees.” I relied too heavily on the best player on my team? What does that even mean?
“The roster manipulation could’ve been better executed.” I agree in part. I was in no man’s land on the QB front for a few weeks after Dak went down and before I somehow was able to claim Tannehill off waivers. Matt Ryan, Dalton, Wentz. I tried playing the matchups and all three just simply stink so that’s on me. However, I nailed picking up Boston Scott for those couple weeks he did it big. Successful handcuff between Cook and Mattison (and that goes to show further that even with Cook’s shaky needs I was covered). I flawlessly played the matchups with my D/ST. I even nailed the incredibly dicey move of starting Engram at the flex with Hock at TE.
“I’m expecting a big bounce back year for our man, he’s due for another peak soon.” Correct.
I’m looking forward to a vastly different looking power rankings following our draft. Now that I finally got this all off my chest I can finally sleep soundly tonight. I better get caught up on my sleep so I’m signing off. Just kidding. It’s crunch time. Back to the lab. See you all on Saturday.
Must Be Sunday 