Alright chucklefucks, I’m back in the office for the first time in probably a full week (that’s a lot for me) and of course I drank coffee way too late in the day and stretched an order of Dunkin hash browns across 6 hours (that’s 1 hashbrown per hour or hbph for those in a rush). Basically I did a bunch of useless shit in the office until I felt I had done enough to say I’ve been productive and then realized I was really hungry and dehydrated. Now I’m sitting here with a bunch of Chick-Fil-A and water, ready to crank this out and get to the gym for a bit before The Challenge comes on at 8. Hopefully my debaucherous roommate will be able to join me, I know he needs to take a load off (or maybe he’s done that enough already after last night). Hahahah alright I’m trying too hard to make jokes, analysis time:
As you can see above, there weren’t a ton of players that had multiple people putting in offers this week, but the top two had two bids each. Brad handsomely outbid me for Rondale Moore, spending $34 FAAB for a 1.4 point payday. This happens to be the largest difference between dollars spent and points scored in the HISTORY of The Wire, as meaningless as that may be. Seriously, there’s no significance to that metric, who’s to say that he doesn’t score 50 points next week and then he’d be worth every dollar spent? Nobody, that’s who. But we like to have fun with numbers here, so a little perceived positive or negative impact can be good fun for The League, and one thing they always say about us here at Must Be Sunday is that we like to have fun. I guess we’ll see next week if Chubba Hubbard puts up less than 8.4, then there’ll be a new sheriff in town when it comes to overspending.
Next biggest purchase was quite possibly one of the best FAAB pick-ups I’ve seen. King Bean$0 swooped in and grabbed the Cardinals D like a cardinal would grab a stick with a worm on it or some shit to bring home for its babies. In the case of Beans Corp. however, the Arizona defense scored 5 more points than the amount of dollars spent, which again means next to nothing but is fun to see. On top of this, a real consequence of the pick-up was the Company’s much-needed win against none other than our top spender this week, Brad. As you can see in the chart above, the Cardinals 15 points were INSTRUMENTAL in Beans Corp’s win by 11.7, without that pick-up we may have seen the anticipated “I Don’t Wanna Be Around Anymore” article from the CEO. Right now he’s riding a high though with all his teams on the upswing, so enjoy it.
I’ll mention now how I spent another 6 FAAB bucks on a useless player in Demetric Felton. I should have known, yards are not in De-Metric System. That brings me up to $10, or one Hamilton, down the drain. We’ll see if Dalton Schultz does me any favors as a worthy back-up for Kittle.
As many of you know, I spent this past Sunday at the Governor’s Ball Music Festival, and while Andrew Cuomo’s testicles did not make an appearance, I thoroughly enjoyed the vibes instead of constantly checking the fantasy app or ESPN for score updates. Between the lack of cell service in the Citi Field parking lot and the sheer number of people in attendance, I was hardly able to send or receive anything from about 4pm to 10:30pm. I knew things weren’t looking great for my by 4, so I decided not to worry about it and stuck to dancing, eating, drinking, and giving Mr. Met the old “va fangool”. I digress though, when I got around to compiling the point totals and everything else that goes into this production, I fully realized just how close I actually was to winning against Kris this week, if not for a few calculated moves made in the lead-up to our match-up. I will detail them below:
Defense and kicker. One of my leagues doesn’t even have kickers, and it all came down to these positions that people will not care about. If you read this column, you’ll know that they can make or break you in any given week, but also who the hell knows when one’s gonna pop off? Daniel Carlson with a twelver (double his prior K, Jason Myers, as well as double the $ spent) and Panthers D/ST with a tenner for free are what ultimately did me in after all the bad RB/WR moves I made with my roster. If it’s Myers and the Rams D, I’d be the one with the big smile and the blonde hair and the well-defined muscles. Instead, it’s Kris. I’d like to say it’s just classic me getting in my own way, but in reality I was beaten at my own game. Well done buddy, if you beat me again in Week 11 then I’ll still be up 4-3 on you all time š
If you’ve been keeping up with the blog, you’ll have heard all you needed from Max about his team winning this week. He’s handling success like a cool-looking duck, calm and cool-looking on the surface but frantically paddling paddling paddling below. Our man with the mic ran the gauntlet of available running backs, ending on Peyton Barber and Ameer Abdullah. Both men sat at gametime however, with Barber racking up an impressive 21.7 points. Probably lucky for us that he wasn’t given a starting spot, as it would have embiggened the already impressive 34.74 point win margin, and our newly signed contributor may have taken over my job writing The Wire this week and just typed Peyton Barber and Mike Williams over and over again. Just remember: anybody can get it, the hard part is keeping it mothafucka.
Lastly, I’d be remiss to not mention the moves made by our mostly-beloved Commissioner and my A-1 roommate. After a shaky Draft Day and Opening Day loss to the guy with the most PA through three weeks, it seems like Thomas and Friends is getting itself “on track”. See what I did there? At what I want to say was the very last possible minute on Sunday before game time, Vigsy picked up veteran Emmanuel Sanders as a body to round out the his line-up in a tilt against the powerhouse that is Brent. The unlikely hero ended up spazzing out, catching 5 of 6 targets for 94 yards and 2 of Josh Allen’s 4 touchdowns (and none for Devin Singletary, bye!) This almost certainly helped the Friends pull ahead after a nail-biter of a Monday Night game…
But wait, that’s not all! You may not have even noticed this on your first look at the chart, but waaay back on Wednesday there was a little free agent pick-up by the Commish for a little defense from a little town in Nevada. That’s right *Chris Berman voice* THE RAIDERS! To say that this match-up was a nail-biter honestly doesn’t begin to describe it, because if this little pick-up didn’t happen and Vigs ended up using the Bears Defense, Brent wins by a margin of 0.58 if everysinglething else stays the same. Truly incredible. At some point on that day, Vigs actually mentioned to me that he was hoping to be sneaky and grab the Cardinals D/ST early that morning before realizing Beans had swooped in like a baby bird or whatever I said before, and so he had to settle for the Raiders instead. I thought nothing of it at the time, but looking back now we can see, in the words of Bobby Frost, “that has made all the difference.”
Okay, and that’s my story! Enjoy the other charts below, I need to take a shit from the Chick-Fil-A and it looks like I’m Citi-biking it home instead of the gym since The Challenge is on in about a half hour. For now this has been The Wire, tune in next week for coverage of the all-out brawl over CMC’s replacement and other fun tidbits that no one else cares about. Don’t spend it all in one place, but Ryan and Vigs maybe start spending some at all, some of these guys are running low…
Must Be Sunday 