In the words of Tom Wambsgans, “Buckle up, fuckleheads!” We had quite the week of close games, which have been discussed ad infinitum in the last few days on the Pod and in the Power Rankings. Obviously, I look at things a little differently and have a trove of stats and charts at my disposal, so get ready to relive the highs and lows of Week 9 and maybe learn something along the way…
Max vs. Brad
Background: Aw man, are we pulling for a win from Brad. Not just to keep Stand-Up Watch interesting, but so that his inaugural season in The League isn’t so bad that he doesn’t want to come back next year. Hopefully your dynasty league has been going well and you’re already scheming how to come in and fuck shit up next year when no one suspects it. No one expected me to be good this year, it could happen to anyone. I wonder how many times Max and Brad have met in person, I bet you could count them on one hand, or even one finger, but let me know in the GroupMe because I’m genuinely curious. Let’s see how things were going for both teams in the lead-up to this match-up:
As you can see, Max has just been bouncing on the .500 line like he bounces all over the country to do the news like a regular Michael Thompson (from Rick and Morty). Meanwhile, aside from the Week 1 win which is covered by Max’s chart, Brad has been doing his best James Cameron impression (from South Park). If this week goes a different way, Max will get his first glimpse below that line and Brad may finally find bottom and begin the process of raising the bar.
The Match: Looking at The Wire (new location for this week), it once again comes down to the defenses. Max bid $2 less than Vigs for Steelers D/ST (more on that move’s effect on Vigs later). This makes sense because Max only has $16 FAAB left compared to the $80 held by Da Commish. If Max decided to throw $6 instead and started Pittsburgh (4 pts.) over Las Vegas (8 pts.), things would be much closer. Pair that with Brad not dropping Vikings D/ST (6 pts.) and not buying Boston Scott for $10 and keeping the Eagles (-3) on the sidelines, we have an entirely different outcome. Boston Scott actually missed his projection by 5.6 points, brutal. Another missed projection came from Jordan Love, who fell 5.3 points short. You truly hate to see it, even though the projections largely mean dick. Basically, the saviors for Max were Kirk Cousins (11.24 more points than the dropped Derek Carr) and the Raiders Defense (6 points more than dropped Falcons D), although none of this would have mattered if Max just played Elijah Moore (23.9 pts.). You’ll be hearing that last sentence again later…
Analysis: Since Brad has less data to draw conclusions from, see below for some trend lines from this season:
Max has surely had some close games in the past, as seen in this chart:
We live for the nail-biters here, and even when you’re on the losing end it’s still exciting and great for content. Let’s take a look at the one we had this week:
Kris vs. Vigs
Background: What more can I say about this historic match-up that hasn’t already been said? It’s like the Packers and the Bears, the Cowboys and the Giants, the Jets and the Jets (or the Mets and the Mets heheh). Similar to those rivalries and mine with Max for an in-League example, Kris has won a hefty majority of the meetings between the two. It got to the point where Vigs made his team name “Everybody Hates Kris” for a whole season, pretty harsh. Let’s see their historical performances:
As you can see, both teams have seen quite a lot of victory over the year, with Andrew on the upswing and Kris in a bit of a middling stage as of late. The way the season has been going, you could possibly think you knew how this would go down. I don’t think anyone expected the absolute stinker that came out on the other side of Monday.
The Match: You all saw the graph at the top of the column, Kris wins by 0.48. Insanity. The second closest game in the history of The League and the lowest scoring game that had a margin of less than a point. We all know it was the Pat Freiermuth game, a phrase which I can’t imagine being uttered ever again, but did any other pick-ups or drops have a large effect? Surprisingly little moves were made by these two owners this week. As mentioned above, Andrew picked up the Steelers D for $5 and dropped the Broncos who scored 3 points more, it was a smart move on paper but the Broncos are an enigma with that weird undefeated start and surprising plays like this even after losing noted Internet Troll, Von Miller. Basically anything going different could have helped the Tank Engines so I won’t ruminate on it too long. One thing that made a huge difference is the benching of Elijah Moore. I think this has happened to Brad before, but it’s gotta sting leaving that many points on the bench especially when it’s from your own hometown team. Maybe you should have let your “Homerism” kick in there…
Kris made a bid for Boston Scott but was $4 short, picking up Patty Points was all he needed though. The only other move he could have made to his roster was starting A-Rob over Juice Landry, which I would have done considering I named my team after Mister Robinson II a few years ago. However, as much as it pains me to say it, Justin Fields is not doing that man any favors.
Analysis: Let’s look back at the past close and low-scoring games from these two gentlemen:
Listen, you both know how your seasons are going, and you can take this week as a lesson and get ready for the next time you’ll be butting heads. Whether it’s in the playoffs, the losers bracket, or the 2022 season, I’m sure it’ll be a good one.
A few more thoughts before I go. My match-up with Abie was close and I want to say that I’m sooooo thankful that Abie’s genius Wire moves were put on a bye week or something this week. If it was last year, this would be in the Ugly section (for those who are unaware or forgot, I used to format these things in a “Good, Bad, Ugly” manner. Now I’m trying a whole bunch of stuff. It’s fun!) SO basically Abie dropped the Browns defense who scored 18 and Darnell Mooney who scored 19.1. I won by 12.24, you do the math. He also added Adrian Peterson (one of my first fantasy favorites) on a Monday? I didn’t even know you were allowed to do that!? Let’s see if he can keep turning back the clock or if he’ll have to spend more time with his family, not sure which one would be worse for the rest of us…
Unfortunately, Tua Time is over. Luckily I don’t have to feel so bad because Ryan also spend FAAB on a player who goosed it (Bryan Edwards, $3). Live and learn is what I’m gonna say to wrap it up.
Alright, that’s our show! Hope you liked this little investigative piece, it was something different and with the match-ups and results of this week I felt a deeper dive was in order. You wanted to hear about YOUR match-up more? Should have been more exciting I guess. Maybe next time. Later!!
Must Be Sunday 