AHHHHHHHHHHHH. The Sunday Scaries turned ever scarier for several League members in Week 10. It seems that myself, Brent and Abie are falling apart at the most inopportune time, while League bottom feeders Max, Ryan, Kris and Brendan are peaking simultaneously. Suddenly, everyone’s in the mix (except Brad but we’ll discuss him more later) and the waning weeks of the regular season are more important than ever. This is honestly when The League is at its best, when everyone has shit to play for and we all live and die with every point, every yard and every score change. Anyway, we’re all gearing up for what should be the greatest stretch run in LeagueStory with seemingly 9 teams in the mix for 6 playoff spots. Let’s do this…
#10. Thomas and Friends – Andrew Vignali (Previous Ranking: 10)
Two weeks in a row in the shitter and I couldn’t be more upset. This one hurt as I was largely at full strength and still dropped a very winnable game to Max. My week got off to a shit start with the infamous Mike Geisicki goose egg on TNF and I was never able to get off the ground running. Godwin and DK must’ve still been drunk off their bye week excursions cause they both played liked they’d rather be anywhere else in the world than on a football field Sunday. Jalen Hurts got off to a rip-roaring start against Denver, going for over 20 points in the first half. But here’s the thing… he finished with 19. Do the math, he lost a point somewhere over an entire half of football. I finally got decent performances from Dalvin and Darrel Williams for the first time in what seems like forever. Now its all about putting it together so that everyone can have a big week at once. Anyway, I know I’m not the worst team in the League, but as punishment for 2 sucky weeks in a row, I must don the dunce cap as the League’s number 10 team.
#9. South Jersey 4th & Schlong – Brad Peddito (Previous Ranking: 7)
Well, at least you’re not 10th. For the 3rd week in a row, the Bradley’s put up a valiant effort in pursuit of their 2nd win, only to just fall short. Down his top 2 RBs, QB and starting WR, Brad has now put up 100 points in 3 straight weeks. Solid! He actually got great games from his Eagles for once. DeVonta exploded and Boston Scott had his best game in a while. Pressed into emergency action, Derek Carr and Brandon Bolden both did just ok. Sadly, Brad was burnt by the other Pats RB, more on that later. Honestly, not even that many bad performances to report here. It was just the inability to score touchdowns that doomed the Bradleys. Outside of DeVonta’s two, no other Schlong found his way into the bonezone. That’ll have to change, and quickly, if Brad has any chance of getting off standup watch. Fortunately, some positive injury news should hit Brad for once with Chubb, Saquon and Kyler all back next week.
#8. Beans Corp – Brendan Cahill (Previous Ranking: 8)
Is Beans back? Probably not, but he at least doubled his lead over Brad in the race for last place, so this was arguably Beans Corps biggest win since 2018. It wasn’t easy, it definitely wasn’t pretty, but a win is a win is a win. Shoutout to Beanso for making the waiver wire pickup of the week. Rhamondre Stevenson went for 25 and potentially saved Brendan’s season. The other waiver wire pickup of the week was also made by Beanso with the Colts D dropping 14 on the beleaguered Jags. Hell, even Chris Boswell scored 12. Clearly, Brendan is seeing things more clearly the last week or so and that’s dangerous. Perhaps he knocked the dust off the ol “Bean’s Book of Secrets”. Unfortunately, it was not the Nyhiem Hines game, or the Zach Moss game for that matter, but it didn’t matter. Justin Herbert had a dud. Mike Evans scored a late 40-yard TD to save what would’ve otherwise been a typical Mike Evans game. Anyway that you put it, Beans has to feel good after getting off the schneid, and looks to double up his personal winning streak in an absolutely massive game against Brent this week.
#7. Norse Horse – Kris Blaine (Previous Ranking: 9)
This couldn’t be the Pat Freiermuth game that we got last week? Sadly, the Steeler’s rookie TE was unable to miraculously rally the Nordics for the second straight week as our boy dropped a close one to Abie, making his record 4-6. Things looked promising for Kris for much of Sunday, but then SNF happened (more on that later). KB got underwhelming performances from his RB trio of Aaron Jones, Myles Gaskin and Lenny Fournette, but the trio was able to outscore Freiermuth and Cole Beasley. Another staple of the Packers offense, Davante Adams had a tough one as not much went right for the entire GB offense in the snowy confines of Lambeau. Josh Allen had an alright 20 points, but you’d expect more from a Bills QB who led his team to 45 smackaroos against my lowly NY Jets. Can’t say I didn’t see that one coming. Kris’s best performance of the week came from CeeDee Lamb, who grabbed 2 TDs vs the Falcons. Nothing on his bench really would’ve turned this game in Kris’s favor, so he can’t really beat himself up to badly. Rest up kiddo, a massive matchup with Jack awaits in week 11.
#6. The Martians – Ryan O’Connell (Previous Ranking: 6)
Alright Marzy. The eternal league underdog, our TikTok superstar was able to finally end his longtime losing streak with a relatively easy victory against Tommy-no-longer-so-hotty. This game would’ve been a larger margin of victory had Ryan not started Russell Wilson in his first game back from a hand injury. His 5 points was nearly 3x less than Tannehill’s 18 on the bench. Stefon Diggs and Antonio Gibson finally broke out of prolonged slumps, each going for 20+ and scoring a combined 3 TDs. 2 of those came from Gibson against the Bucs defense, however, who only could muster 6 pts against the Footballers of Washington. Another week, another touchdown for Melvin Gordon. He’s destined for Canton at this rate. Mark Andrews had a rock-solid game and is a must-start TE every week. Finally rounding otr Ryan’s squad were a few mediocre WR performances from Scary Terry, Diontae Johnson and Christian Kirk. All 3 scored 8-9 which is not great, but not exactly duds either. Looking ahead, Ryan has suddenly launched himself back onto the “In the Hunt” graphic for one of the League’s WC spots. He looks to stay hot against and ice-cold Commish.
#5. Buffalo Bonez – Thomas Antonello (Previous Ranking: 3)
The Buffalo’s couldn’t extend their winning ways, dropping a tough one to the Martians coming off of last week’s top performance. One could say that Tommy Bonez got boned by Lamar Jackson, DeVonta Freeman, Hollywood Brown and the rest of the Ravens on Thursday night. All 4 parties were guilty of stinking it up against the ‘Phins. To be completely transparent here, I like to think of myself as one of the more insightful fantasy minds there is… but I had no idea DeVonta Freeman was still kicking in the league. Our boy also fell victim of the Will Fuller effect, who hasn’t at this point? Donovan Peoples Jones, one of last week’s breakout stars, earns his way into the starting lineup for his efforts and on que reverts to his normal self, which is to say he stunk. That’s why we don’t overreact to one-week explosions folks. Darren Waller was finally back, but sadly not the production you come to expect from one of the games top TEs. Justin Jefferson had another nice performance, something often said in these rankings. Plus, the dynamic duo of Najee and Ekeler rolled on for another week, but it was all too little, too late to matter. I’m afraid the doomsday trade for Calvin Ridley may be the end of Bonez as we know it. Tommy has to turn it around in a big way in week 12. Fortunately he has an easy one against Brad on the schedule.
#4. Vibrant Vignali’s – Max Cohan (Previous Ranking: 5)
Seriously Max, I’m getting sick of your shit. Just keep one name throughout the year and let it be. I bet by the time this is published, Max will change his name to “Leider Lederhosen’s” or some dumb shit like that. Anyway, rant over. Congrats on beating me this week. I royally sucked and you didn’t. Why did it have to be D’Ernest Johnson and Jamal Agnew? This guy Jamal Agnew in particular is apparently a WR for the Jaguars. Well, here’s the thing. He had 0 catches on Sunday, but ran the ball 3 times, including a 66 yard TD. I mean, what kind of bullshit is that? Christian McCaffrey is back healthy which means even when he sucks, he still gets 20+ points. Max’s team is actually pretty filthy on paper with Rodgers, McCaffrey, Swift and Kelce. That’s a hell of a top 4. He’s got absolutely nothing out of the WR spot however after the very hit or miss Mike Williams. Anyway, I don’t know if this is a positive write-up or a negative one, I think I’m just bitter. Max not only has a big dong, but he got the better of me this week. Some guys just have it all.
#3. HOCKEYPRO69 – Abie Leider (Previous Ranking: 4)
Watch out now. If Abie gets this Patrick Mahomes for the rest of the season, he may be allll the way back. 5 touchdowns against Da Raiderrrrs and 36 tic-tacs went a long way in helping Abie get back on track against the Nordics. Finally, the 69ers were on the right side of some injury news, as AJ Dillon jumps into the RB1 spot for the Packers while Aaron Jones is on the mend a couple weeks. He, James Robinson and my main man Michael Carter will make a young, formidable RB core. Jeudy, Pittman and Crowder all kind of underwhelmed, but D Hop should be back next week to help. This one could’ve been an even bigger blowout had Abie started the right defense, the Cowboys against Atlanta was the obvious play over a Sam Darnold-less Panthers squad v Arizona. Whatever, that’s about the only negative thing I can say about you Abe. I don’t know how to tie this in, but I have to point out TJ Hockenson’s goose egg, not that it mattered. That at least makes me feel a little better about Mike Geisicki.
#2. The Flandrew’s – Brent Gotkin (Previous Ranking: 1)
Brent, the biggest ego in fantasy, just got son’d by his lifelong pal Jack. As a result, has dropped out of the #1 spot in Da Commish’s power rankings. That’s gotta sting just a little bit. You wanna be the best? Well, you gotta beat the best. The Flandrew’s had big weeks from usual culprits, Dak Prescott and Zeke hammered home 45 points against the Falcons, while Cooper Kupp caught a million passes again on MNF against the Niners. Even James Conner kept alive his TD streak, the guy is a freaking monster. Sorry for forgetting, it’s been such a long time, but some smart guy took him late on draft day and then inexplicably traded him for Corey Davis after like 3 weeks. Wonder who that was? Anywho, that’s about all that went right for Brent on Sunday. The rest of his team, not so much. Ravens D only scoring 4 against the Dolphins is freaking pathetic. Amari Cooper, AJ Brown and DJ Moore did the thing where they don’t catch many passes. Tough for WRs to score when that happens. At least Brent played the right TE again with Pitts outscoring Goeddert, but neither performance is worth writing home about. Looking ahead, Brent is in for a dousy of a week 11, facing off against the red-hot (for his standards) Beans Corp. Something tells me our man won’t be a happy camper come Tuesday morning, stay tuned.
#1. Jonathan Taylor Thomas 2.0 – Jack Staub (Previous Ranking: 2)
Honestly, is anyone even shocked by this one? This guy Jack must’ve unlocked the secret to being a fantasy God because every button he’s pushed as GM this season has been the correct one. Hey bud, you mind sharing your secret? Or at least wanna throw me Deebo Samuel? I mean seriously, this guy was a 9th round draft pick in August and is somehow WR3 in standard half PPR scoring. What’s even worse is Jack also is sandwiching Deebo between the WR2, Tyreek Hill, and WR4, Ja’Marr Chase. Never seen anything like that. For good measure, let’s throw the RB1 on the squad, namesake Jonathan Taylor. Add George Kittle, Tom Brady Corrdarelle Patterson… I can go on and on but you get the gist. Jack has assembled a Death Squad from top to bottom and until someone can end the monstrous winning streak he’s been on, his spot atop the Power Rankings is safe. For my own personal gain, I hope that day comes this week against the Nordics. But I’m willing to bet it doesn’t.
Biggest Rise: Norse Horse
Biggest Fall: South Jersey 4th & Schlong/Buffalo Bonez
Well there you have it, another week down. It’s getting super dicey with 9 out of the 10 teams seemingly in the mix for only 6 spots. I have some deep seeded inner demons to work out as I try to push through the past 2 week slog of absolute suckage. I promise you all I will be better, and quickly. Anyway, week 11 kicks off in 24 hours with one of the worst matchups you can possibly imagine, Pats-Falcons. Pats are going to win this game by at least 2 scores so there’s really no point to watching. But as your fearless leader, I have a commitment to you, your squads and this League, so watch I will. Let’s hope Joe Flacco keeps me sane on Sunday or I might not make it to week 12.
Go League.
Must Be Sunday 