“I’mmmmmm going throughhhh chaaaanngeeessss.” – Christian McCaffrey and me.
Wow! The former first overall fantasy pick and I are really going through earth shattering life transitions at the same time. Mr. McCaffrey is moving to San Francisco and I’m growing a mustache.
Christian McCaffrey has only ever played on the Carolina Panthers and I’ve never grown a mustache before. The talented back has played in San Francisco a couple of times, and I’ve had above the lip hair before as I’ve been bearded up the last couple of years, but I’ve never gone for the full, solo mustache. We are truly both embarking on uncharted territory. I take comfort in knowing that I’m going through my period of massive transition at the same time as someone else. I’m sure Christian, I feel like I can call him that, feels the same.
So, I know what you’re thinking. “Beans, growing a mustache is a big change for you. Are you sure you’re okay?” Yeah, man. I’m okay. Some of you have very nicely reached out to express your support for me while I go through this mustache growing period. I appreciate it. I truly do. I just hope you reach out to Christian as well. We are both going through changes.
You see, while I’ve never grown a mustache before, and I’m a bit worried about what a mustache future looks like, at least I’m not packing up and moving across the country! Our man CMC better call his boys to help get him moved quick because he has a game in San Francisco in two days!
As I mentioned before, he’s played in San Francisco before. Two times according to the worldwide web. The first time was on 9/10/2017, although the Panthers website incorrectly lists the date is 12/10/2017 which threw my research off for a few seconds. In this 23-3 Panthers victory CMC had 18 attempts and rushed for 47 yards. A 3.3 yard average. He also had five receptions on seven attempts for 38 receiving yards. Zero touchdowns. If my math is incorrect, and it may not be because I get donkey brains after midnight, he served up a mid eleven fantasy points.
Since the original League was scraped and deleted from ESPN when Andrew’s Napoleonic coup d’état came to be in 2018, I can’t tell you who had the rookie back, but he certainly didn’t win them their week. It’s a different story the second time he played in San Francisco. This came during his run of fantasy dominance in the 2019 season. What a time. That was before I ever even had a beard, much less thought of growing a whole ass mustache. The niners blew the Panthers out of the San Francisco Bay winning 51-13! Despite the real-life football debacle, CMC did prime 2019 CMC things. He had 14 carries for 117 yards, an 8.4 yard average rush! The man also scored a touchdown. Oh, and he also casually had 4 receptions for 46 yards (on 11 targets though, weird). Since this was post military takeover, I can tell you exactly how this stellar performance impacted The League. As we all remember, Francisco Franco himself, Andrew Vignali, was lucky enough to roster CMC in 2019 (the year he won the championship). In this week 8 matchup against our very own Jack Staub, Andrew coasted to a solid 144-125 victory in large part due to CMC’s remarkable 25 points. Remember when scores used to be like that back when football players were good at playing football?
CMC is heading to his new home with some positive feelings from the last time he was there. Good for him. Good for Kris, who currently rosters him. Bad for me, who is playing Kris this week.
Saying that, I do wonder how I can focus on fantasy football when I’m mid mustache growth! I guess I just need to balance all that life is throwing at me the best I can. I can do this. I can handle growing this mustache and getting my fantasy team back on track. If CMC can handle his massive transition, then I can handle mine. Mustached Beans by a billion this week. I just need to find a way to overcome my fellow challenge tackler.
Must Be Sunday 