I’m dead. Vaxxed?
When I was baptized in late 1996 or early 1997 (I don’t know how old babies are when they take the plunge) the water must’ve been contaminated with bad juju. I’ve never dealt with any loss whatsoever, I grew up in a stable home, I’ve never wanted for anything, I’m pretty smart and have a fulfilling job, I have wonderful family and friends and have countless happy memories. My life has seriously been an endless loop of good luck and good times. With all of that being said I can’t help but to think I’m cursed. Maybe the baptism water was actually budlight.
All night Jalen Hurts looked like a deer in headlights. I believe he had less than 2 points going into halftime. One tush push and Jake Elliot extra point later I’m up by just over ten. Our friend Watson at ESPN keeps telling me I’m still going to win. Luckily I know better. I know how it goes. I texted it to Kris this afternoon. I told him Hurts would start slow and then score some late bullshit shove touchdowns. One monster pass to D. Smith and tush push later I’m losing by just under two points.
I needed the chiefs to score a quick touchdown and then hurts throw a pick. Unlikely but not outside the realm of possibility. If it was anyone else in the League it would’ve happened. But because it’s me and everything sucks always you know how it goes. Mahomes had a dime to MVS which would’ve set them up for an easy td. Maybe they even would’ve pushed Pat’s tush. Instead he has the worst drop I’ve ever seen. A couple plays later the chiefs are at about 4th and 150,000 and they don’t convert. I lose.
Not only do I lose but the Eagles win which actually pisses me off in real life more. This was an all around catastrophic night.
I never get wins like this. I never get wins like this. I never get wins like this.
I don’t know how much longer I can do this. Every week it’s some fucking bullshit, man.
I would like to make the playoffs because it’s fun but honestly the stress of win or go home is too much so I won’t even mind if I’m on the outside yet again.
That’s not to say I won’t be trying my hardest. I’m going straight to confession tomorrow to account for the few sins I’ve committed since I last went to confession in probably 2010 before my confirmation. After I tell the priest about the one time I accidentally cussed in 2013 maybe he’ll give me some fantasy advice. Or will use his godly magic power to transport me back in time and prevent football from ever being invented.
Onward.
Must Be Sunday 