Author: maxattack96

League Talk: 2023 – Week 6 Review

“R.I.P. grandpa, you would have loved Sapphires.”

Any episode with a line as powerful as that MUST be a winner.

De’Von Achane is a two-time loser this week. In addition to hitting the IR with a knee injury, Vigs still can’t get his (or Jared Policar’s) name right.

We can only hope this tweet will make a difference going forward.

The original duo handled business this week, with Zook (Zuke?) and Tommy Bones off the mic. Tommy still contributed from the sky, sending texts that Beans read for him.

I don’t know if we need to have Uber Eats or DoorDash start paying the show but the food delivery interruptions found their way into yet another episode. How was Chipotle?

This week also marked the return of the power rankings. Here’s how things stack up in the minds of Beans and Vigs:

  1. Brent
  2. Kris
  3. Thomas
  4. Brad
  5. Beans
  6. Max
  7. Abie
  8. Vigs
  9. Ryan
  10. Jack

“Write about this.” Vigs, Wednesday, the 25th is marked on my calendar. See you in Bama.

If you didn’t stay until the end of the pod, you missed some wild discussion about Taylor Swift being a HUGE League Talk fan and her inviting the show to record live on the European leg of the Eras Tour. Phenomenal content.

Week 6’s entry clocks in at just under an hour and 12 minutes. In my humble opinion, this is one of the season’s best episodes. No doubt, it’s certified fresh. 96% 🍅.

League Talk: 2023 – Week 5 Review

A Tuesday night pod will always make things interesting. Guys on byes, waiver moves not yet made and a whole host of other things.

And yet, none of that could prepare us for one of the wilder opens in League Talk history.

Not normally known for his vocal talents, Brendan “Beans” Cahill flashed the pipes with his own version of the 2006 classic “Hey There Delilah.” This cut took a turn from the original, moving the central theme from love to hate as he sang of Joe Burrow’s struggles. I was truly touched by this moment. It’s even more impressive when you stick around to learn that Beans pulled a Jay Z and wrote the entire joint in five minutes.

Eventually, the regularly scheduled programing resumed as the gang (minus Tommy Bones) attacked the Week 4 action. It was an embarrassing week for many league members, this humble hack included.

Once game talk started, Andrew continued to showcase his command of the English language, adding two new names to his victim list: De’Von Achane and Matt Breida. He also called me Jack. We’ll get ’em next time, bud.

New to the pod this week was a food delivery interruption. Not once, but twice. If listeners weren’t hungry before, they were when the poultry arrived.

I also made a guest appearance on the show this week. Ratings boost anyone???

We also got some important injury updates. Zuke (Zook?) is now listed as “day by day” as he continues to recover from a skateboard assault and Beans is back at full strength.

The Week 5 episode runs just over an hour and 23 minutes. With singing and jokes, this entry is absolutely certified fresh. 87% 🍅.

League Talk: 2023 – Week 4 Review

A broken hip and a mouth injury suffered during a “tumble.” No, this is not the injury report from your local nursing home, it’s a status update on two of your favorite Hoboken residents.

In the history of fantasy football podcasts, rarely, if ever, have two hosts been as disheveled as Ryan and Brendan this week. Honestly, it’s hard to say if two roommates have ever had a week like this in recorded history. Jack, run the numbers.

For years now, loyal “League Talk” listeners have hit play on Spotify, or other streaming platforms if you’re a loser, to enjoy the weekly program on the way to work, while taking a shit, or doing a number of things it’s best not to put in writing. But today only today, Thursday, Sept. 28, 2023, had I decided enough was enough.

Puka Nacua and Rachaad White. What do they have in common? Well aside from being on NFL rosters, they have names Andrew Vignali is unable to pronounce. For weeks, Vignali has struggled with White’s name. Despite corrections from other hosts of the pod, the butchering continued this week. To make matters worse, this week the twin added rising star Nacua to his list. Sources tell me this was the final straw for Brent, who was on the verge of driving off the George Washington Bridge when he heard it.

Clocking in at one hour and 17 minutes this week, the pod was 80% killer and 20% filler. With Vigs, Beans, Bones and Zuke (Zook?), there were some great comments and reaction to the week’s slate.

This week’s episode is certified fresh 92% 🍅.

The Ballad of Owen

Hell, USA — Pain. What more can truly be said?

At this point, I don’t know if I have to vocabulary to describe the way things are going. Losing is nothing new for me. In fact, I’ve been talking Ls since Day One (I have three in my name).

But there’s a difference between losing and being lost. It’s a fine line, but the season of the Owen squad may just have been lost.

Not to rehash old talking points, but let’s. The fourth-highest-scoring team in the league is in last place. Normally, that would be good enough for, say, at least one win. But this is no normal season. Only one team has had 800+ points scored against them. No need to look it up, it’s me. 820.44 points in fact. The next most points against is 751.02, coming against Brent’s squad. He’s 3-3 by the way.

The worst part is that there’s no way up. After having to sit half my team during their bye week, I now return to almost full strength against Brad — minus the goat Josh Allen.

I have nothing left to say. Seacrest out.

The 0-3 Blues

Huntsville, Ala — A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the Age of Men comes crashing down, but it is not this day!

Inspired? I’m not.

If there’s anything that makes my blood boil, aside from the Mets and Jets, it’s losing in fantasy. Through three grueling weeks, my team has not managed to find the win column even once. Sure, the competition is fierce this season, but the numbers speak volumes.

Ja’Marr-a-Lago Chase, my wonderful squad, is currently fourth in the league with 376.96 points scored — not too shabby. For reference, the league’s other winless team has only mustered 298.42, the second-fewest in the sport. What this means is five other teams, including the league’s lowest scoring team (Beans Corp), have not matched my point total, yet the fantasy gods have graced them with a win. Fair? No, but neither is life.

When I drafted this blue-chip group of men, failure was never a thought. Not even once. Now in Week 4, I face a brutal test in Ryan O’Connell. A squad I once thought would be no more difficult to defeat than my little cousin in any video game. Ryan has proved us all wrong.

Now, with follicles on the line, I fear for my life. If 0-3 is bad, 0-4 might be the kiss of death.

An ode to Mike Williams

There comes a time in every man’s life when they have to block out the haters. In my case, this is a frequent occurance.

Recently, a lot of hate has been thrown my way for deciding to consistently start Chargers’ WR Mike Williams.

Sure, the 26-year-old isn’t Cooper Kupp or Tyreek Hill, but those guys weren’t available anyway.

In any case, the hosts of the “well known” League Talk podcast have constantly questioned the decision to start the Los Angeles flanker. Did they have reason to? Perhaps. Have I proved them wrong? Indeed.

In three weeks of fantasy action, Mike Williams has been on a tear (18.2 week 1, 18.6 week 2, 29.7 week 3). For those with limited math skills, that’s an average of 22.1 points per week. According to ESPN, that makes Williams the second highest scoring wide receiver in all of football. Look it up, it’s true.

Well who cares about individual stats if you’re losing? Likely no one. But I’m no loser.

After a brutal loss to Thomas & Friends, I had to face the league’s most feared team — HockeyPro 69 (or something like that). Again, most predicted I would fall to the mighty Abie. Again, they were wrong. With a little help from Mike Williams, Waller Nothing took this one 141.64 to 106.9. Not even close.

As the great Michael Jordan once said, “I’m back.”