Okay before I answer any questions I want to acknowledge the death of Michael K. Williams, as a prominent cast member of the show that this column takes its namesake from, I’d be remiss to not mention the tragic circumstances that led to his early exit from the Earth. Rest in power, Professor Kane (his character in Community, I never saw The Wire). Also would like to say that I’m particularly saddened by the passing of Norm MacDonald, a comedian on and off the field and someone who I try to emulate in many of my not-nearly-as-funny real life observations and so-called “jokes”.
Anyway, let’s get down to it. LeagueStory is my new segment that will be combined sometimes with The Wire but also sometimes separate. It has more to do with historical wins and losses, points for and against, marquee match-ups and narrative throughlines of Our Favorite League. It’s pronounced the same way as “history”, but with “league-” in place of the “hi-“. Here’s a link to the International Phonetic Alphabet if you’re still having trouble: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Help:IPA/English
I’ve posted a few charts here and there, but at the bottom of this column are a few that I’ve made since getting all the stats entered into my trusty Excel spreadsheet. They’re pretty self-explanatory. Some things to look out for: this isn’t really news but it’s certainly interesting to see how many times Kris has put up numbers that should give you an easy win before SNF begins, only to have his heart ripped out by a handful of ticks on the other side of the ball. Look for it again this year, but maybe he’ll pull it out when it counts. I also love that there is a Vignali showdown highlighted in both the Top 50 and Bottom 50, both with the Commish getting the edge. Lastly, we all remember the infamous Max vs. Ryan race to the bottom of 2020, but not many people know that only three short years ago our reigning champ won in a fluke job against his former Albany roomie. We sure that belt isn’t just gold on the outside?
To put it bluntly, The Wire did not see much action in preseason. I personally wasted $4 FAAB on Todd Gurley off a tip that landed in my IG DMs from none other than Mikey Seligson. Abie also offer a buck for the former RB1, so you’re welcome. Then Max spends $2 on Rashaad Penny, only to drop him a few days later. This week looks much more interesting, I’ll be throwing everything on the spreadsheet tomorrow while fasting for the Yom Kippur holiday and thinking about all the sins I’ve committed in the past year (not drafting Hopkins with my first pick being one of them).
I’m not overexaggerating when I say this: every single waiver pick-up for Week 1 sat on the bench. Every. Single. One. Except two, I started the Dolphins D and Vigs started the Vikings D, both scoring 4 points. Both defenses we dropped did worse than that, so good job to us and better job to me for winning that matchup. None of the guys who were riding the pine could have made a difference in the outcome of the game, aside from Kris leaving 25 points in Gronk out of his final score. If he switched around his RB to sit Aaron Jones and started the season with two tight ends we would have laughed our asses off until he won, then we’d all be very scared. Tommy Bonez had the next best free pick-up with Ty’son Williams. However, those 16.9 points (nice) would not do much to cover the 36 point deficit he lost by in the Battle of the Newbies. We also of course had a ton of free agents and injured guys being added and dropped in the lead up to The Big Day, causing a lot of unnecessary static for yours truly. It’s okay though, it’s my job.
That’s about all I got right now, enjoy the charts below and be on the lookout for more content flowing free from the brains, mouths and fingers of all your favorite League members. This has been The Wire, Go League, sign the petition, and as always: Don’t spend it all in one place.
(Turn your phone sideways for an enhanced viewing experience)
Tyler Lockett celebrates after one of the many ass fuckings he delivered Commish Andrew Vigs
God, what a week it was in the fantasy world. After a 255 day wait, Thursday morning finally arrived and I turned into a 6 year old boy waking up on Christmas morning again, excited for what the week and season would bring. That feeling lasted until about 7:00 on Sunday after I got the shit kicked into me by Jack’s three headed monster known as Tyreek Hill-Deebo Samuel-Tyler Lockett. Whatever, its one week. No team in NFL history sans the ’72 Dolphins has run the table and neither has a proud franchise in The League — so I was bound to lose eventually. Might as well get it out of the way early.
Anyway, its time for everyone’s favorite column, your updated Power Rankings. Week one saw some mighty rises, some hefty falls and everything in-between. That’s why we play the games folk! So without further ado, lets get crack-a-lacking with no. 10…
10. Buffalo Bonez – Thomas Antonello (Previous Rank: 6) I didn’t even notice you changed your name until just now, maybe the Bonez Hogs would have fared better? Anyway, the Bonez’s were victims of this week’s biggest blowout and lowest scoring team, dropping a pathetic 89.64 in their inaugural matchup. Tommy, did you not listen to this week’s League Talk? We warned you Mike Evans is a fraud. The oft-injured Austin Ekeler did what he does best, get injured. Najee Harris flat out stinks and Lamar Jackson is seemingly getting worse every week he plays. At least Chase Edmonds did kinda good for Chase Edmonds standards, but still nothing to write home about. Anyway, Bonez, you got some real GMing wizardry to do to right the ship. After one week, the Tommy Bones is in the pole position for the stand up stage. Not where you wanna be.
9. The Martians – Ryan O’Connell (Previous Rank: 10) Things could’ve only gone up for The Martians after our initial power rankings which saw them rank dead last. Well Ryan, you did manage to improve one spot, progress! Ryan had a pretty average performance this week, cracking the 115 point mark, right at his projection. But what came as a shock was where Ryan had his poor performances, namely his top two picks Davante Adams and Antonio Gibson. Things really looked glum for The Martians until Melvin Gordon III ripped off a 70 yard touchdown run late in that Broncos game (I nearly fell off my couch in disbelief but I can attest it really did happen). Can’t count on that every week I’m afraid. I was also afraid Dionte Johnson and CeeDee would suffer sophomore slumps, but both put up very good performances. Anyway Ryan, good job I guess? Still think you need to improve your RBs or it could be another long season for King Marzy.
#8. South Jersey 4th & Schlong – Brad Peddito (Previous Ranking: 6) I know what you’re all thinking, Brad’s team won week one and yet still fell two spots from the previous week? Well, this is a forward looking ranking more than anything. And I got some bad news for our boy and his name is Saquon Barkley. I think he stinks, his team stinks and therefore your team stinks. I wouldn’t have touched him with a 10 foot pole, no matter what round he fell to me. Throw in a Brandon Aiyuk bagel (goose egg alert!), and pedestrian performances from Robert Woods, Keenan Allena and Logan Thomas, Brad was fortunate to escape week one with a win. Anyway, the real story of Brad’s team is his mighty mite QB, the fantasy godsend known as Kyler Murray. But Brad, I feel often times you’ll be relying too heavily on a 30+ point performance from Kyler to make up for an otherwise mediocre team. Trust me, as someone who went that route last year, its not often a recipe for success.
#7. The Norse Horse – Kris Blaine (Previous Ranking: 2) I take great pleasure in reporting a tough week for the Nordic Horse’s in the 2021 opener. It appears I was completely off with my Myles Gaskin sleeper prediction, the guy stinks. Same could be said about JuJu, who’s quickly dropped to the #3 option in the Steeler’s offense. Overall, I expect Aaron Jones, Allen Robinson, Josh Allen and Damien Harris to perform much better than they had this week, which is why I didn’t drop Kris further even though he was the second lowest scoring team this week. Speaking of Damien Harris, I’m afraid he’ll be banished to Bill Belichick’s Dog House for coughing up the ball that led to the Patriots’ defeat on Sunday, someone to look out for going forward (James White fantasy owners rejoice). Perhaps Kris can swing Gronk to a TE desperate team to fill some holes, but I doubt he panics after one lousy performance.
#6. Kamara Chameleons – Max Cohan (Previous Ranking: 7) The League’s biggest wildcard, one week into the fantasy season and we still have more questions than answers concerning the Chameleons. Are they good? Are they bad? Well for one thing, they are 1-0. Max’s team had an up down Sunday. The good? Adam Thielen, Darren Waller, Mike Williams (sorry for clowning you on the pod) and Steelers D. The bad? Calvin Ridley. Then there was the ugly, Aaron Rodgers. Pretty remarkable Max pulled out a victory with such a pitiful performance from last years MVP. Max’s bench only dropped 8.2 points so depth could be a bit of a concern going forward, but for now, a 1 game winning streak goes along way to shut the haters up.
#5. Thomas and Friends – Andrew Vignali (Previous Ranking: 9) Alright, a move in the right direction! Even though it didn’t result in a victory, Da Commish had a very encouraging week one performance, scoring the third most points in week 1. Honestly, though, outside of Matt Gay and Jalen Hurts, still can’t believe that trade didn’t get vetoed (ducks), I feel my team left a lot still on the table. A lot of touchdowns sure, but not much else. Dalvin didn’t Dalvin. DK didn’t DK. Josh Jacobs ran for 36 yards so I guess that sounds about right. Is Clyde Edwards-Helaire a good football player? 17 games into his career, I don’t think so. Still, dropping 145 points despite these performances is an encouraging sign for the Vig’s. Let’s fucking go. Also, I got Alexander Mattison in the most irrelevant trade ever so that’s cool.
#4. Beans Corp – Brendan Cahill (Previous Ranking: 3) A drop in the rankings for Beans Corp? Almost as bad as dropping the first game of the season, which Brendan did as well. Still, much of what was said above about me holds true for the Corp. The League’s 4th highest scoring team ran into the yet to be ranked freight train known as The Flandrew’s; losing despite a highly respectable 132. You know Bean’s Corp is going to be good because he has CMC, a freaking fantasy vulture. I was heavily invested in that Jets-Panthers game for obvious reasons and I swear McCaffrey had 100 touches by the end of the first quarter. As long as he stays healthy (a big if considering his usage), Bean’s Corp is looking very strong. To top things off, D’Andre Swift appears to be an early favorite for breakout candidate of the year and Miles Sanders didn’t suck like we all expected. Bounce back weeks from Herbert, Diggs and Chris Carson should have Bean’s in good position to bounce back with a week 2 dub.
#3. Jonathan Taylor Thomas 2.0 – Jack Staub (Previous Ranking: 8) I still think the #3 spot may be a little high, but can’t deny the week one results that saw our man and all around good-guy Jack drop 157 and completely rip my heart out in week 1. I’m starting the believe that Tyreek Hill may be the best wide receiver to ever play the game of football, at least the version of him we saw on Sunday. Add in that Tyler Lockette couldn’t stop stealing touchdowns from DK Metcalf, Deebo freaking Samuel dropped 27 points and Tom Brady continues to facefuck Father Time, it was a bad week to be me. It happens. Outside those obvious outlier performances however, nobody really did anything too notable on Jack’s team, which is why I have my doubts for his continued success. Jonathan Taylor is eh, Mike Davis stinks, that’s all I have to say about that Jack’s RBs. Anyway, congrats. Fuck.
#2. HOCKEYPRO69 – Abie Leider (Previous Ranking: 1) After talking the talking all summer long, the 69ers walked the walk in week one, easily defeating the Nordic Horses. Abie’s gonna score a lot of points cause of Patrick Mahomes- already the best quarterback to ever play the game. Additionally, Abie has De’Andre Hopkins, the best wide receiver to ever play the game. Also, TJ Hockenson must’ve tuned into last week’s pod and put the whole league on notice with a revenge game after the shit talk, you’re welcome. Julio and Derrick Henry got buttfucked by the Arizona Cardinals, so they should bounce back next week. However, the reason for dropping one spot is because the injury bug reared its ugly head and struck not one, but two of Abie’s starters; Jerry Jeudy and Raheem Mostert. Hate to see it, but a part of the game nonetheless. Can Abie survive? Tune into this season of The League to find out.
#1. The Flandrews – Brent Gotkin (Previous Ranking: 4) Picture the local fourth grade spelling bee. The contestant is given the word “juggernaut”. Perplexed at first, the contestant asks for the definition. The host repeats “Juggernaut (noun): a huge, powerful, and overwhelming force or institution.” Still unsure, the contestant asks for the word to be used in a season. Obliging the request, the host repeats-“Brent’s team is a juggernaut.”
See what I did there? Things couldn’t have gotten off to a better start for the defending champions Flandrews. High points for the week and a victory over archrival Beans Corp has Brent riding high and into the drivers seat to another fantasy championship. Can’t believe I ever doubted the Cowboys, even though Zeke sucks (Ditto what I said earlier about Barkley). Dak Prescott is gonna throw for 6,000 yards, 3,000 of which will go to Amari Cooper. Joe Mixon is a beautiful piece of shit. AJ Brown, Cooper Kupp, DJ Moore and Dallas Goedert round out an impressive starting lineup. Also the bench is deep with Trey Sermon (RIP Mostert) and Corey Davis. Can’t believe we allowed this again.
Biggest Rise: Jonathan Taylor Thomas 2.0 Biggest Fall: The Norse Horse
That’s all she wrote for week 1. Can’t wait to kick start it again with the worst Thursday Night game of all time, Taylor Heineke v. Daniel Jones (shit).
Dalvin Cook looks to lead Marzy & Me to fantasy dominance in the upcoming 2021 campaign
Folks, we made it. The long trip around the sun between fantasy drafts has come and gone. The beer flowed, empanadas were devoured and a good time was had by all — except if you needed a QB in round 12 (I’ll get into that later). But the fun part is now over and its time to strap in for a long 17 week season. As you all know, this season I’ll be providing a new weekly column for all fans of The League, power ranking the teams and providing my heavily sought after and unbiased advise and analysis on all the rosters and decision making week by week. So, without further a do, let’s jump right into the preseason power rankings with our number 10:
#10. The Martians – Ryan O’Connell Kicking us off at the ten spot is Ol’ Marzy. Ryan started his night by going with two obvious plays, snagging Davante Adams (WR1) and Antonio Gibson with his first two picks. But then his draft took a left turn –inexplicably casting aside the RB position and drafting about 14 WRs, a TE and QB before his second RB, settling for Melvin Gordon of Denver. Everyone knows I stress the RB position early and often (sometimes maybe to my own detriment) but you can’t deny the overall importance of the position since only about 6 RBs are any good in this league anymore. I predict a big trade in the future for Marzy to sure up that position or I’m afraid Ryan may be fast tracked for the standup stage once again.
#9. Marzy and Me (new name in the works) – Andrew Vignali I have to humble myself with this one. Overall, I feel I did not have a very good night. Almost nothing I had mocked for ended up coming to fruition and I think I got routinely played by Bean’s Book of Secrets. I was eyeing Joe Mixon in RD2 but after Brent grabbed him, had to reach on CEH since I knew Bean’s wouldn’t allow him to fall to me on the turnaround. Similarly, in rounds 4 and 5, I was eyeing Godwin and whomever Brendan didn’t take between Miles Sanders/D’Andre Swift and was totally not prepared for Beans to take both in that spot – thus causing me to settle on Josh Jacobs whom I’m not very high on due to his lack of receiving ability. But the worst fucking I got all night was the Round 12 QB run that saw all 4 of my targeted QBs go one after the other to teams that already had an entrenched starter at QB. I settled for Matt Ryan but likely things will change before week 1 so take that with a grain of salt. I got fucked by Max taking my handcuff Alexander Mattison two picks before I was going too – whatever. You already know my feelings about that one. Overall, bad night for Vigs.
#8. Jonathan Taylor Thomas – Jack Staub This is a hard luck #8 for our boy Jack – but ditto what I said above about Ryan, I just don’t love the RB situation. To no fault of his own, Jack took JK Dobbins as his RB2, about 20 min before his ACL tore and ended his season, unfortunately a wasted 4th round pick. Mike Davis will finally get a chance as a feature back in the Atlanta offense but is a total wild card. Similarly to myself, Jack waited around for his QB and settled on the immortal spawn of satan Tom Brady. Brady will offer more in the passing game, but is too one dimensional in the modern NFL offense to really be a big time fantasy QB. Could Jameis take the mantle as Jack’s QB? We’ll wait and find out. Also, Ja’Marr Chase drops a lot of balls.
#7. Kamara Chameleons – Max Cohan The League’s biggest wild card, Max was all over the place on draft day. His deeply routed southern ties made for some obvious picks over the course of the draft, Kamara, Ridley, Pitts, etc. But the common theme among the lowest seeded members of these initial power rankings hold true again – I don’t love Max’s RBs. Kamara is an obvious stud, but I have questions about his receiving volume with Winston replacing noodle armed Drew Brees and forcing the ball more down the field. After that, Kareem Hunt is a question mark – as he is a good back, but remains second fiddle to Chubb in Cleveland. Add that his only other two backs are backups Zack Moss and Alexander Mattison and I have questions as to where Max is going to find the touches for his RB2. I don’t love playing 2 TE’s in the Flex, but Kyle Pitts is supposed to be a stud and maybe Max knows something we don’t. Overall, I think Max is another candidate to look for more RB help before week 1 (he’s already hit my line).
#6. 4th N’ Schlong – Brad Peditto The newest member of The League had an interesting introduction on draft day. On paper, Brad’s roster is pretty comparable to the other teams that have yet to be revealed, but the reason The Schlong’s come in at this spot is the old injury concern – namely Saquon. Of all the top picks, SaQuads was obviously the biggest question mark. He’s a volume beast when healthy, but it’s been nearly a year since he’s taking the field and hasn’t played any snaps in preseason so far. We also have no idea what to make of Sony Michel. Will he be the lead back in LA or was he just brought in as a depth piece after losing Cam Akers? We shall see. Decent WR depth, some homerism for his beloved Eagles (Quez Watkins?), and Logan Thomas rounds out Brad’s squad. Good luck in your freshman season.
#5. Bonez Hogs – Thomas Antonello Fitting that the two newbies and week 1 rivals fall back to back in the initial power rankings. I honestly didn’t know what to expect with Bonez on Saturday but I think he did a good job. Ekeler may not have been the play I would’ve made at 6 (I think Chubb, Saquon and Aaron Jones were all better RBs there) but you can’t fault a guy trying to win a signed jersey. Tommy Bonez is deep in WR and has a stud QB1 in Lamar. I think Chase Edmonds makes or breaks Tommy’s season. If he can become what David Johnson was a few years ago and fill in as a 3 down back in ARI, Bonez team really rounds out nicely. But for now, I’ll take the top 4 teams on paper.
#4. The Flandrew’s – Brent Gotkin The top 4 teams of the initial power rankings are all close and relatively interchangeable, but I got Brent in my #4 spot largely cause I think the other remaining team had better, sure fire first picks. Brent went Ezekiel Elliott, who I was shocked to learn has seen his production fall each season of his career. I also don’t love the fact that Brent has the triplets Dak, Zeke and Amari Cooper on his team, relying too heavily on one offense is always dangerous and particularly, one’s production will hurt the other. Brent has solid WR , — look for Corey Davis to become the next Jerry Rice with Zach Wilson and Cooper Kupp is solid.
#3. Beans Corp – Brendan Cahill Initially coming out of the draft, I thought I’d have Beans as my number 1. But after sobering up, having a day of reflection and the more I look at the top two teams– I simply think they are more balanced so I have Beans third in the initial rankings. Bean’s went above and beyond targeting RBs, grabbing 4 with his first 5 picks (CMC, Carson, Sanders, Swift) and a top WR with Stefon Diggs. Brendan benefitted the most of anyone at the timely breaking news of the JK Dobbins injury and swiftly grabbed Gus Edwards with the next pick, good for the Corp – bad for everyone else. But I have my reservations about his WR depth. Beans has often been burned by Robby Anderson and I don’t believe in Sam Darnold. Sutton is a mystery to me this year after last year’s ACL tear and with Capt. CheckDown Teddy Bridgewater winning the Denver QB job. Justin Herbert is solid but he’s definitely the worst QB of the remaining unranked teams. Overall, solid RB depth makes Beans a dangerous player in the trading market, and I would expect him to swing a few deals to fill out some holes on the roster.
#2. The Norse Horse – Kris Blaine I always hate to give Kris credit when I can avoid it – so he’ll have to do with being the initial runner up in our Power Rankings. Kris touched upon it on this week’s pod (give it a listen if you haven’t yet) and did something drastically different from years passed – he went Kelce in round 1. Hard to argue with that decision however, and then followed it up with the safe pick Aaron Jones in round 2. Kris is equipped with great RB/WR depth (I personally think Myles Gaskin can be 2021’s breakout RB) and to top it off, last year’s number 1 fantasy QB Josh Allen, Go Bills. Josh Allen, Aaron Jones, David Montgomery, ARob, Juju, Kelce is as deep starting lineup as they come. Great nerws for me who’s gotta play him thrice.
#1. HOCKEYPRO69 – Abie Leider Abie, Abie, Abie. I loved what you did on Saturday. You can make the case Abie has the top QB, RB and WR in football with Mahomes, Derrick Henry and DHop. James Robinson will be the obvious feature back in JAX after the Travis Etienne injury, and if Julio can turn back the clock, Abie’s top 5 is deep. AJ Dillon and Michael Carter are two young, intriguing RBs, and Sanders/Pittman and Jerry Jeudy is great WR depth. Last but not least, he’s gonna have Michael Thomas joining the squad hopefully by October, so at full strength, I think Abie’s team has the most upside of everyone. Good for you.
That’s all I got for my initial pre-season power rankings. I’ll try to pump these babies out weekly to the best of my ability. Make sure to voice any and all comments/questions/concerns on League Talk, the official podcast of The League, where we will be addressing all content fantasy related. Till next time, Go League!
I wasn’t going to do this. I didn’t think I needed to. The results speak for themselves. Don’t they? I only read the article itself once but the words are engraved in my brain like my home phone number, my mother’s birthday or how many red zone receptions Miles Sanders has had the last two years. Yeah, you’re all in big trouble
When I went to godaddy.com in August 2020 and registered the domain name MustBeSunday.com I didn’t think my own website but used to write absolute liable attacking me and my character. From my own podcast co-host no less. Et tu, Brute?
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last 15 days you know what I’m talking about. Our commissioner took it upon himself to list what he believes is the power rankings of all members of the The League based on past performance. If you haven’t seen this I suggest you check it out before proceeding with this article: https://mustbesunday.com/2021/08/09/preseason-power-rankings/
I assume you know how to read if you’re reading this. Since you know how to read and you just read or reread the rankings you likely need major reconstructive jaw surgery, a la Max Cohan, because how hard yours just hit the floor after reading that. Beans Corp, the cream of the crop, fourth. Huh?
First the fat boys break up now every day I wake up and somebody’s got a problem with Hov. Let’s break it down.
“The peaks have been majestic- routine top finishes, multiple division championships and even a championship to show for it.” Fact check – true.
“But the valleys, and there have been plenty, have been damaging.” Fact check – huh? Plenty of valleys? 2016 – lost in semifinals, 2017 – lost in championship, 2018 – won championship, 2019 – missed playoffs, 2020 – lost in championship? That’s pretty fucking far above sea level if you ask me. I have to sleep in a high altitude chamber like Michael Phelps to prepare myself for all of the peaks. I’ve been doing it since I was a baby. I legitimately don’t even like to drive down hills because I just don’t play like that to be honest.
Our commissioner then raises the, on the surface level, very valid concern about the large trade between Ryan and I around week five or so last year. Of course, in retrospect, it’s easy to say that CEH isn’t comparable to Chubb. Of course. My response to that is I traded Chubb shortly after he injured his knee. The initial timetable wasn’t looking good and I play fantasy to win each week. I needed a body and CEH was better than anyone on the waiver wire. Chubb wasn’t back until week 11. Needed to be done. It was also a much bigger trade than just those two straight up. I flipped Tua for Matt Ryan (both stink, at the time it made sense – Dak had also been hurt). I also wouldn’t have made the playoffs without Marvin Jones Jr. That is a fact.
“There really was no chance competing for a championship.” But … I did? I was a Tannehill touchdown away or so from probably winning the championship.
“I for one felt that Beanβs relied to heavily on Dalvin Cookβs old man knees.” I relied too heavily on the best player on my team? What does that even mean?
“The roster manipulation couldβve been better executed.” I agree in part. I was in no man’s land on the QB front for a few weeks after Dak went down and before I somehow was able to claim Tannehill off waivers. Matt Ryan, Dalton, Wentz. I tried playing the matchups and all three just simply stink so that’s on me. However, I nailed picking up Boston Scott for those couple weeks he did it big. Successful handcuff between Cook and Mattison (and that goes to show further that even with Cook’s shaky needs I was covered). I flawlessly played the matchups with my D/ST. I even nailed the incredibly dicey move of starting Engram at the flex with Hock at TE.
“Iβm expecting a big bounce back year for our man, heβs due for another peak soon.” Correct.
I’m looking forward to a vastly different looking power rankings following our draft. Now that I finally got this all off my chest I can finally sleep soundly tonight. I better get caught up on my sleep so I’m signing off. Just kidding. It’s crunch time. Back to the lab. See you all on Saturday.
I’ll do it the same way for 2019 and 2020, as well as through the upcoming 2021 season. If you want a personal area chart with only your historical record (or you with a rival), definitely let me know. Enjoy, Go League.
You know that song “The Boys are Back in Town?” Of course you do. Whatever band wrote that song wrote it about The League. Thin Lizzy or something like that. I’m not going to look it up. We doing it live!
The League is back and it’s back in a big way. Ten teams, half PPR, one QB. Fantasy played the right way.
You know that song that goes like, “I’mmmmmm goinggggg throughhh chaaaaaangeees?” Of course you do. We all got a new president, some got new apartments, I got a new pair of shoes and The League got some some new members. Welcome to the show Brad and Bonez. Prime time. Rest in Peace Alex and Lebron. Alex informed us of his decision to leave pretty early into last season. While he did leave the group me he did stay true to his word on finishing out the season. Class move. He’s moving to North Carolina pretty soon, so it all sort of worked out anyway. I think his reason behind his choice to leave was he didn’t enjoy that fantasy made it impossible for him to enjoy football. I get it, Alex. Conversely, Lebron bowed out slightly less gracefully. You likely all recall the Taysom Hill debacle of 2020. I imagine ESPN’s handling of this situation led to fights in every fantasy league. Combine that with some other house keeping arguments the kid left midseason. We just straight up played with nine teams last year. Probably the most chaotic part of 2020.
You know that song that’s like, “we ain’t going no where, we can’t be stopped now, cause it’s bad boy for life?” You probably do. It’s a really, really good song. I had a nice rebound last year from a somewhat disastrous 2019. Second place. Not bad. A lot of other people would’ve killed for silver. Not me. I wanted the gold. I wanted it bad. I was full McKayla Maroney after championship week. Brent turned his team into a juggernaut due to some unruly trades. I knew it was going to be tough. I don’t want to paint myself as some great underdog story. It’s me after all. Ryan was our Cinderella story last year. Still, I was severely under matched. It was close but you know what they say about things that are close. You make an ass out of me. No excuses. I’ve been putting in the work doing mocks and doing some pretty intense research. I also have the first pick. I’ve never been so confident going into a season. It’s Beans Corp for life.
You know that song that goes like, “I have died every day waiting for you Darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years, I’ll love you for a thousand more.” If you know me you know that song makes me cry on sight every single time no matter the time, place or situation. It’s because it reminds me about how I feel about The League and all that comes with it. The people, the yelling, the wings, the chips, the yelling, the comradery and the yelling. Oh, and the content. I love the content. The blog and the pod. Last year I couldn’t keep up with it nearly as much as I wished. Work was nuts. I think I only wrote three or four Look Back At Its. We probably podded only a little bit more than that. To be fair, later in the season it got straight up unsafe for Andrew and I to be in the same room within a proximity close enough to record a podcast. Regardless, barring any unforeseen circumstances within the next few months I am full steam ahead. Bloggin, poddin and mobbin.
The draft order is set. The mocks have commenced. The air fryer is heating up.
What’d you think I wasn’t gonna find time to do the write-up this week? I almost didn’t, but luckily I ran out of work to do at 3 on a Friday which is great. I’m gonna take a nap after this. We had A LOT of Double Whammies this week, which doesn’t really mean anything but we like to see everyone making good moves. Unfortunately, there will still be an Ugly section this week because there were some blunderful blunders made as well. Let’s talk to it:
The Good: Before you keep reading, scroll down to the bottom and check out the Waiver Summary (the last table included). Done? Ok, so you see the clear winner of the waiver wire this week was The Commish, Andrew Vigs. This the most free points I’ve seen in my short career of looking at that kind of thing. It really hurts to look at that small difference in the net points acquired and the points that were put into the starting line-up, because one small line-up change would’ve also made him a winner where it really counts. Who would’ve thought that Rex Burkhead would go dummy in a primetime game against the Ravens? Nonetheless, hell of a fight. Keep it up and you’ll be Back before you know it.
Alex, who is done with fantasy football, was the highest bidder of the week. He grabbed John Brown for $10 after I dropped him in the trade with Vigs for Waller and Gordon. Now that I think about it I should’ve kept Brown and dropped Gordon, since it remains to be seen that Gordon will provide fantasy value. Brown scored 10.2, so Alex got what he paid for almost exactly. He also decided to start the Lions defense, who scored -1 point (points?) but didn’t stop the departing owner from logging a win against Max. What section is this again? Let’s move on to a couple of winners.
I’ve been saying it for months, Abie is making moves and should be feared because we are now entering the Endgame. The decision Sunday morning to take Kalen Ballage (after he had been added and dropped many times throughout the week) could be what put his team over the top this week. Granted, removing the 12.7 points still would’ve given him a win, but the butterfly effect is very real. I told him to go for Jamaal Williams, what do I know? I’ll tell you, not too much.
I’m a little short at running back in my other league after losing Saquon and taking a completely failed gamble on Cam Akers. So I picked up J.D. McKissic a few weeks ago, and he did okay. Then in Week 9 he started going off. I didn’t necessarily NEED another RB, but I saw my guy was on the auction block and threw a three dollar bill out there, if anything to keep others (my opponent) from possibly getting a lowkey player with high fantasy value. That’s exactly what happened. Brendan and Brent both put $2 bids on J.D. and lost out to me. Leading up to Sunday, I started questioning his legitness and decided to sit him despite spending the $3. It turns out that all my lineup decisions were wrong, and I left a TON of points from him, DJ Moore, Ronald Jones, and Malcolm Brown on the bench. I still managed to win in a nail-biter thanks to a relatively quiet performance from Dalvin Cook. I’m starting basically all those guys I sat last week and I won’t be surprised if I get screwed over again, especially after the bad omen of spending $4 on Jameis to find out today that he won’t be starting. You gotta wait until next week to find out how that turns out though.
Rounding out the Good is Kris, who had two solid Double Whammies with the Packers D/ST and Duke Johnson, both of whom started and helped Kris get a much-needed win. Can these standings BE any closer??
The Ugly: We skipped the Bad section this week, as there are only two other teams I want to talk about. Beanzy and Lebreezy, both of you guys pretty much reenacted the Simpsons gag where Sideshow Bob can’t stop stepping on rakes that pop up and hit his face (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRq1Ksh-32g). Both of them had decent pick-ups in the FAAB auction, but the waiver wire absolutely demolished both of them. Let’s look at one at a time:
Beans – If you listened to the podcast, you’d know that Ryan Nall was a big topic of conversation. Sadly, he didn’t get a chance to shine because he was dropped for Kalen Ballage. But wait a minute, didn’t Abie start Ballage? You’re absolutely right! Brendan had the bag secured and dropped it for Jared Goof. At the very least, he did better than the alternative of Carson Wentz, and Brendan probably would’ve slashed his own tires if he lost because of Wentz. Then, Beans Corp. terminated Boston Scott due to poor performance only to have him score 13.9. The guy he picked up instead was Hunter Renfrow, who was then dropped for Darnell Mooney, started and ended up doing worse than Ryan Nall. Big oof.
Lebron – Brendan’s paragraph above really read like A Series of Unfortunate Events to me. Lebron’s week can be summed up by one bad move: dropping Nyheim Hines. 26 points. This hurt me too because of the back seat that Jonathan Taylor has apparently taken in the Colts offense. Had Lebron kept NyHeimdall (as I’m sure he’ll be called) in at flex and all other conditions were the same, he would’ve squeaked out a win against Abie by 0.5 points. I did the math. Butterfly effect though. Ts & Ps.
Welp, another week in the books. The biggest room in the world is room for improvement, let’s all strive for that. This race is tighter than ever, and there’s no telling who will be in and who will be out. Let’s see if Taysom Hill really has what it takes to eat a W. Maybe Mike Thomas will have a good game, maybe Austin Ekeler or George Kittle or Joe Mixon or CMC will come back, maybe the Jaguars will cover (not fantasy related). For now, this has been The Wire, Go Bucks.
Just kidding, we miss it though! What is there an election going on or something? Nobody wants to only read this, it’s a supplement to the game recaps either in podcast or article form. By the way, who’s working on the article analyzing all the trades from this season? And does anyone want to write this for me next week? I promise there aren’t a lot of players who got bidded on and I’ll even send you the charts. Let me know! Anyway, let’s get it started in here:
The Good: Our Founder Beans, who was just given a good-natured ribbing by Yours Truly, redeemed himself from last week when he found himself in the Ugly section. This week was quite different, and Beans Corp oversaw an under-the-radar Double Whammy with a late bid on Brandin Cooks (a familiar face) and a “Same-Start-Win” with his pick-up of the Rams defense. See the charts above and below for why those are two of the best moves of the week, things turned out overall pretty bad in most of the few transactions that went on. We’re getting into the nitty-gritty here. The win against Brent in Week 9 was much needed, but now a running back is what’s needed. We’ll see if he gets one next week…
Max grabbed Jerick McKinnon (another familiar face) for $8, outbidding Brendan by $2. The San Francisco RB scored 14.3 points in a matchup that was won by Max by only 6.5. Lebron made a bunch of moves on the waiver wire that didn’t really work out, one in particular we’ll discuss soon, but if all else stayed the same, it really was this smart bid that put Max’s team over the top. Just watch your back because as I’ve told Brent before, the view from the top is nice but the fall is that much longer.
I was about to write about how Abie offered a total of $22 and none of it was actually spent, but I just realized he paid $16 for Devonta Freeman (a third familiar auctionee). My formulas didn’t pick up that amount as spent because Freeman had 0 points this week out with an injury. The Giants didn’t need him to win, but Abie might’ve needed this valuable player in order to win this week. Hopefully that $16 was well spent and Devonta comes back and leads the G-Men to a division championship, regardless of how pathetic the division in question may be. I fixed the formula by giving him 0.000001 points and calculated that Kris actually saved the most this week with $8. Good job Kris.
The Bad: Vigs, the Commissioner we all know and love, was this week’s big spender, balling out for 2019 Heisman hopeful J.K. Dobbins (the fourth and final familiar face). If you haven’t noticed, when you bid on someone who was already bid on this season there’s about a 50% chance they’re gonna be a bust. The key is to bid low on these guys, like Brendan and Max did. J.K. knows how to run, he does his job well there’s no doubt, but the Ravens running game has not really panned out this year. Dobbins is also a rookie, and I know I drafted him but he definitely needs a few years to get his footing before he becomes the next Ray Rice (but less abusive). 4.5 points for J.K. on a $20 bid, 7.9 points for Tre-Quan Smith who was dropped, double saddness. Andrew also dropped Brandin Cooks (15.8) for a hurt Matt Breida, adding insult to injury and helping his podcast co-host in the process.
Rounding out the Bad section is the other Vignali twin. Alex’s team performance definitely belonged in the Ugly section, but I’m not here to discuss all that. He dropped the Titans D (13) for the Cardinals D (2) in a “Same-Start-Loss”. Keeping the Titans onboard wouldn’t have secured the dub, but it would’ve made it look a little closer.
The Ugly: Standup Alert! This move really couldn’t have come at a worse time for Lebron. I don’t want to get into all the drama since I wasn’t present at the Owners’ Retreat and the Secretary didn’t take the best notes. That’ll all be discussed in the soon-to-be-greenlit reality show/webseries called League Watch. We’re shopping it with Viacom, they want a funny animal sidekick/ref but I don’t know if that would really fit the dynamic we have right now. But I digress…Lebron saw CMC was coming back and decided that Teddy Splashdown would just hand the ball off the rest of the season instead of slinging dimes to Curtis Samuel and my nearly acquired friend Robby Anderson (anyone want DJ Moore?) Unfortunately for Lebu, that’s simply not the case. Plus, the #1 overall pick is out once again. Big Ben did well for sure, idk how that guy is still playing outside of maybe using that deer antler shit, but leaving Teddy in the starting line-up would’ve gotten The Big Lebuski three points closer to a much-needed win. Crunch time, buddy.
Well, that about wraps it up for this week. Thanks for playing along, and think about what I said in the first paragraph. If you’re thinking about it, just start doing it and you’ll make time for it. Lots of different aspects of The League to be covered and discussed ad nauseum for an audience of 9. We love to see it. For now, this is The Wire. Happy Armistice Day!
Sup sup. I worked a little later than usual today and we have a pretty short list of offers for this week, so let’s get right into it:
The Good: DOUBLE WHAMMY ALERT! Abie, Abie, Abie, the moves are off the chart, you’re killin’ it. If you’ve read this column before, you know how I feel about the savvy defense streams, and this is up there with some of the best. The Cowboys are a new Opponent people are looking for in a defense week-to-week, and the divisional matchup paid off in dividends for HOCKEYPRO69. Six bucks is a modest but not crazy offer for a player you might immediately drop, as shown by Andrew V’s competing $3 bid. As you can see above, big point returns in both categories. To top it off, he had a big win this week, and this is one of the steps he took that solidified it.
Next, we have our resident e-boy wiggle dicker, Ryan O’Connell. The Martian went into this week’s auction hopeful for a few quick position player pick-ups in Sterling Shepherd and Carlos Hyde. He bidded low – as he should have – and unfortunately lost out to higher bidders named Alex and Brent. They both sat the guys they spent their money on, Ryan took his $7 and ran. On to the waiver wire, he immediately dropped Dalton Schultz (an earlier auction grab) and picked up Curtis Samuel. Go Bucks. I had him last year for a little while in one league or another, he always flies a little under the radar. Had an okay season last year, but got demoted like Dwayne Haskins when “Big Robby Anderson” came to town. This week though, he played just like he did when he was a whipper-snapper catching passes in Columbus. This nearly 20 point performance put Marzy over the top for a big win. Makes it seem like he DOESN’T want to do more Tik Tok dances π
Lastly, we have the Commish, who is definitely Back. A few good moves can turn into one great move, textbook case here for our fearless leader. First, he picked up Joey Burrow for a very solid performance (no double whammy bc the player he dropped was on a bye), then he grabbed the Saints defense for nobody and got a cool se7en points from them. These both contributed to him being the victor of the Battle of the Blackouts II. You missed out on the Eagles defense which would’ve give you and even more commanding win, but you saved $3 and I like where your head is at.
The Bad: Brent left Week 8 looking to shake things up, and for good reason. First, he lost out on Joe Burrow and had to settle for Derek Carr, who put up 7.46 less points. Then he bought Carlos Hyde who is…injured? Got injured? I’m not entirely sure, go Bucks. He also left some points on the bench in the form of Jarvis Landry and Tony Pollard. Who knows, a few better moves on his part, Abie doesn’t make the moves that he does, and you could’ve held onto a win and prolonged your view from the top. It’s a long fall from there, just saying. I won’t tell you how to spend your FAAB, but seems like trades get you better players π
The Ugly: These moves were just awful, backfired entirely. Any good feeling these owners had related to these moves went unfulfilled, you really do hate to see it but it happens. We’ll start with Yours Truly, who picked up Demarcus Robinson just one week too early. Scotty Miller vs. the Giants with Chris Godwin out? To me that is the most appetizing pick-up since I-don’t-know-when. Bye Demarcus, hello first place in the division. I stayed up all Monday Night to watch this 3 on 2 finisher between me and Max, pitting teammates against teammates and Graham Gano against Danny Dimes. Ronald Jones fumble at the beginning, fuckin Mike Evans touchdown at the end, Scotty gets looks but ends up with a meager 5.7. Just torture. Oh, Demarcus? FOURTEEN POINT THREE. Max and I are not on speaking terms but I’m really just mad at…myself.
Beans buddy, savin up your FAAB isn’t the worst decision ever. What IS the worst decision is to drop Mecole Hardman the week that Patrick Mahomes decides to come back. You picked up Nelson Agholor and kept him on the bench, but the Hard Man scored even more points this week than Demarcus! Nineteen point fuckin one. You too would’ve held on a little longer to your secondary dominance of the League and your division. Better hope Dalvin keeps putting the team on his back.
Best for last, right? Come on, you’ve been reading it, you know which direction this list is going. By far, the biggest spender this week was Alex. 20 for his 40 dollars sat on the bench, both giving above-projection performances. Corey Davis must’ve had pigskin magnets on his gloves because he almost picked up 25 points in the best game of his season. The one player he did decide to play was Henry Ruggs III, who disappointed Henry Ruggs II and Henry Ruggs I by scoring a measly 1.9. In the process of that trainwreck, Mike Williams got a casual 18.5 for no one. Would that have saved Alex’s week? No, but it adds insult to injury. I’d say better luck next week, but we’re playing each other so maybe wait until Week 10 to fix this nose-dive of a run.
Well, that’s my story. Short, sweet, and to the point. I’m gonna go watch Arrested Development, or Clone High, or maybe Jojo’s Bizzare Adventure. Live from my work-from-home desk, this has been The Wire.
Must Be Sunday 