You can’t make this stuff up, I was three paragraphs into this week’s write-up when I got a notification on my laptop screen that says “Your computer is being restarted by IT.” Son of a bitch, I hope this doesn’t delete everything I was writing. It did though, so here we are. It’s too late to do that all again (what I had was basically a love letter to Brendan’s and my team (or our FAAB moves at least) and a lot of good jokes that will never see the light of day.
If anyone knows how to get that back, maybe I’ll finish it out but the short story is this: Brendan made great moves and won, I made a good move (the best move) and won, Max and Alex made some not great moves and lost, and Ryan made many mostly bad moves and still won. You can figure out the rest by looking up at the chart. Speaking of the chart, I made some additions and want to show you some new things I’m working on in lieu of a proper rundown.
So the owners’ names that are highlighted blue are just who I write about for one reason or another, I think I’ve left that in there before. Any player name shaded in blue has shown up on The Wire before, either as a player bought with FAAB or dropped for a FAAB pick-up. A red border around a player added means they’ve been bought with FAAB bucks before (used goods used goods). Orange border means this person has been dropped for a FAAB pickup before (whatever that’s worth, they’re good at being dropped). This doesn’t take into account waiver wire pick-ups for free, only money transactions, but maybe I’ll add that later.
What you see now is the list of players who have achieved what I’ve dubbed a “Double Whammy”. This means the player has positive differences in the K column (points-amount paid) and the N column (more points than who was dropped for them). Bonus points if they’re the same position (I highlighted), and extra bonus points if it’s the #1 most expensive player of the week. That’s what half of the love letter to Brendan’s Boston Scott pick-up was about. I also thought it was a coincidence that he and I both got a Double Whammy on a defense in a week where we beat Abie. Really cool that three happened this week, but now onto something completely different.
This is what I named the “Fate Chart”, because it’s based on the player you bought’s fate whether or not you actually got points for the FAAB dollars you spent. If anyone has a better name I’m very open to suggestions. Basically, this table looks for value in the players you bid on after the week of their pick-up, but it only counts the points they scored on your team whether they started or sat. There will be more to this as the season goes on and I have time to toy with it a bit, but look upon it now in its young glory! I can also sort it by owner, position, team, offer amount and most efficient offer (even though you can clearly tell it’s Rodrigo the GOAT).
There were a lot of other things I wanted to say, I wanted to congratulate Ryan on the win despite sitting Christian Kirk, dropping Randall Cobb, and not picking up Gio Bernard, but my IT Department took that chance away from me. They’ve helped me out of many jams before so I’ll let it slide this time. I thank you all for your continued readership and hope we all score 150 next week! This has been The Wire, kind of. Go League and goodnight.
…And we are back to our regularly scheduled Wednesday release date. Boy, last week was definitely something else. As I think Beans said in the GroupMe, “one of the worst weeks The League has ever seen.” Not for me, but I’ll dive into that in a bit. Not for Brent either, congrats on 6-0 and on beating my bid for the Dolphins defense by a dollar. I’ll need that $7 later since I used a good chunk of my FAAB this week elsewhere. Might as well get into it:
As you can see in the above table, the top three most expensive players this week scored less than their purchase price, albeit to a lesser degree than Week 5. I guess we’re learning. I failed to take my own advice and spent $21 on Ryan Fitzpatrick to make sure Kris couldn’t have him, which actually kind of worked. He ended up bidding only six of his sixteen remaining dollars on The Beard instead of going for another one of the options available. To be honest I’m surprised he would go against the Jets like that, but I guess the ‘phins were/are streaking and the Jets are gonna Jets regardless of who’s betting where. I happened to wake up on the earlier side to check the offers report and noticed Ryan Tannehill was a free agent, so I scooped him up too. This turned out to be much more helpful than the Fitzpatrick bid as it took almost 30 points away from the Norse Horse. In the end it might not have mattered, and the bottom line is I’m out $32 including the $11 I spent on Jason Sanders for a one-week streaming play. Just get Randy Bullock back and win this week Kris, hopefully you’ll be okay. I believe Jimmy G is available as well.
Max activated his future-telling powers and saw that I called him out for dropping a player at a different position from the one he was picking up because it made my stats mean less than they already do. In response to this, he grabbed Frank Gore (9.0) and said goodbye to his buddy Rex Burkhead (1.4). The $15 he spent could have been $6, but the N-diff (which works best for same-position transactions) came out to +7.6, highest of the week. Great job! Now go back and read every blog post you supposedly didn’t know about until a few days ago.
This guy Abie keeps pulling these great moves and still has most of his FAAB left, has he done this before? Just kidding we all have. I believe he’s had the STEAL OF THE WEEK distinction before, but this week it’s in the form of Mr. Travis Fulgham. Only five dollars for 16.5 points? That’s more than 3 points per dollar (yes, I’m an accountant). Abie also secured the rocket ship that is Chase Claypool for FREE after no one bid on him due to Brent’s psyche-out. I think I whiffed a smidge of Albany collusion there 0_0. He was also the first one on the waiver wire after the auction moves were finished, another example of early bird gets the worm (see “Tannehill”). With a tough matchup ahead, Abie better hope I’m begrudgingly writing good things about his moves next week. Let’s just see what happens though.
Speaking of AB, he’s going to the Seahawks! Don’t try and pick him up though, Kris beat you to it. Best of luck with that.
Last auction player I’d like to discuss is our dearly departed Vampire Hunter Alex. He had a perfectly efficient $6-for-6 picking up the Football Team’s D/ST, unfortunately it cost him the Cardinals D (14) who decimated the Cowboys on Monday Night. Alex also took a chance on Heisman runner-up J.K. Dobbins after Mark Ingram went down the week prior, dropping Adrian Peterson in the process. Brent scooped up AP last second for one Alexander Hamilton and came out in the green with 12.3 points. Dobbins disappointed with a 3.9, and even though he stayed on Alex’s bench it’s not a great look.
Not FAAB related, but Beans’ last-second pickup of Younghoe Koo for Robbie Gould gave him a +13 net point total, highest of the week. Wanted to say good job for that despite the loss. You also gotta respect the move for Andy Dalton despite no one else bidding on him and many better QBs being available. Might be time to work on the streaming strategy.
I’ve gotten some good feedback and suggestions on what people want to see from me based on my output. I got some things cookin’ that I’m excited about, and definitely continue to be open to comments. I’m always adding to the spreadsheet I use for these reports to deepen my insights, let me know if you want to take a look at the organized chaos so you can see my process and tailor your own suggestions. People helping people.
I’m gonna go have some dinner. I’m excited for this week’s matchups and the write-up it’ll produce. Until then, bid low, bid slow, and don’t spend it all in one place. This has been The Wire, go League, and stream Poppy on Spotify 🙂
I’ve included the net points of players who actually started (points of starting players minus points of the players dropped for them) next to Total Net Points
What’s hannenin’? It’s Friday, congratulations to all on surviving another week. You probably don’t quite remember what happened last Tuesday and how it played out this past weekend, so I’m here to break it down. In short: not too much. I have a few moves to talk about, you can take a look at the rest at the top and at the bottom, or just look through the Recent Activity tab on the League page. Here we go…
As per usual, the top of the auction list was comprised of players who don’t deserve nearly as much FAAB as we’ve put towards them. The offending owners this week happen to be Ryan and Brendan, and while I commend Ryan for finally using some of his bucks I’ll continue to point out that hardly anyone is going to be worth more than $20 or even 15. We’ve yet to see multiple $20+ offers on a single player, even after the massacre that was Week 2. Maybe next year we will come to our senses, it’s all about those small margins here.
Ryan’s top two pick-ups COMBINED for 1.1 points this week, which is super inefficient just off the bat, but supposedly there’s a method to this madness. He beat out Lebron, Kris, Brendan and Alex on those two offers, maybe one of them wants to trade? Another interesting play of Ryan’s week I’ll mention was the three card monte he was playing on the waiver wire. First, he added Gardner Minshew for Matt Ryan, then did a flip flop and dropped Minshew to get Ryan back (they have the same name lol), and finally decided he wanted to keep both of them and dropped Damiere Byrd for The Mustache. He picked him as the right guy to start as well, leading to his first win against some no-name team, nice job there.
Beans’ add of D’Ernest Johnson for $25 also seems pretty inefficient at first when you see he only scored 4.1 points the following week, but we may have to wait and see about this one too. With Nick Chubb out for multiple weeks and the Browns still gathering momentum, it seems hopeful that Johnson will get starter volume. Brent’s rival $14 bid made this pick a little more interesting, as did Brent’s win over Beans Corp. later that week. A little taste of defeat and some more injuries might cause one of The League’s iron horses to hit the breaks, but an easy upcoming schedule might be just what the doctor ordered. Stay tuned…
We’ve made it to the middle of the column, where I talk about who played the best free-agency ball of the week. This week’s winner has gotta be Alex, a man who certainly has his priorities in order when it comes to FAAB. He exchanged the Chiefs defense for the Cardinals for $10, which seems high for a defense, but the Cardinals put up a very solid 8 for the week. While that puts him in the negative in column K, his big win comes after factoring in the -5 points his former defense anti-scored, giving him a +13 N-diff, best of the week by a lot. Alex also swapped Cam Newton for Teddy Bridgewater, who put up a very respectable 20.8 and helped the Vampire Hunters go up 4-1. There’s something to be said about momentum here, and Alex has got it.
The receiving end of Alex’s beating this week happened to be Kris, who made the very solid move of bidding $3 on Justin Jackson after Austin Eckler went down (he’s great on Twitter, I really should’ve thought about getting him, but I’ll give you that for what I did to you this week hehe). His 11.1 point performance went to waste though since he ended up riding the bench, but this was a strategic move if I ever saw one. If Kris had a good quarterback this week, I’d definitely be nervous as our matchup approaches 😉
Another guy who made some good moves this week was our reporter friend Maxi Boy, who I found out sent Nick Saban a bunch of Matzo ball soup after the news broke that he tested positive for the Big C. Let’s focus on pro football for a second here buddy, capisce? He picked up Graham Gano (20) and dropped the Broncos D/ST (BYE), probably because he saw the Giants have had zero touchdowns thrown since Week 1. Good move. He also dropped Austin Hooper and picked up Justin Herbert (27.4), which also helped him win against the 0-5-but-still-hanging-around Andrew Vignali. Since the players you added and dropped are at different positions, the point difference stats don’t work as well and you get points docked in the competition to be the winner of the week. I don’t make the rules.
The biggest blunder made this week was Abie dropping Brandin Cooks (26.1) for Brandon Aiyuk (5.9), whoops. Now no one would ever do this, but leaving Cooks in the line-up and replacing Tyler Lockett or Amari Cooper with Emmanuel Sanders would’ve given you the win against Lebron. You probably already knew that though. We as a League can’t let Lebron get hot, especially after a different Lebron just became a The Champ. Tell me again why I couldn’t have Robby Anderson?
To wrap things up, I’ll talk a little bit about myself. I need lesson from Alex on how to pick the right defenses. You know the phrase, fool me once, yadda yadda yadda. The Cowboys defense fooled me once by getting -9 points a few weeks back, but they were playing the Giants this week so they couldn’t repeat that abortion, so I dropped the Broncos and picked the Boys back up (not to be confused with the Amazon Prime series, The Boys, which I still haven’t seen). Or could they? My fear of being fooled twice outweighed my risk-taking lizard brain and I went with the Saints, who got run up on by Justin Herbert and gave me a pitiful 2 points on my way to a tough loss to some intergalactic team.
Most of the other moves made leading up to the action on Sunday were due to COVID lists and some teams on Bye Weeks. Next week the Byes will really start coming into play, some of our budgets are getting low, and moves have already been made to take advantage of that. We’ll see how they play out in roughly 36 hours. Until then, bid low, bid slow, and don’t spend it all in one place. This has been Th3 Wir3, go League.
Four weeks in. Four weeks of bliss if you’re me or Brent. Four weeks of agony if you’re Andrew or Ryan. Four weeks of varying feelings for everyone else. There is just nothing like The League.
Mev. Abie
I genuinley don’t think I’ve ever played Abie in fantasy football. I know it’s impossible since we’ve been in the same league for a number of years but I just don’t know how this guy plays. One thing I do know for sure is that Abie hasn’t appreciated my very fair and balanced criticisms in recent weeks. Abie used my comments as inspiration and went on a nice two game win streak. Unfortunately for Abie, he couldn’t crack my three game win streak.
If you told me Nick Chubb would drop a quick 4 points and then exit the game due to a knee injury I wouldn’t be pumped. If you told me Matt Ryan would forget that Calvin Ridley is a human being that exists I really wouldn’t be pumped. Both of these nightmare scenerios did happen in real life. As the old saying goes – Beans Corp never says die. Where would I be without Dak? Not 4-0 let me tell you. The Cowboys had one of the worst loses in franchsie history on Sunday but, thankfully for me, that was entirely on the defense. Dak threw for 60,000 yards. Unreal. Dalvin Cook went off. CeeDee Lamb contributed to the Cowboys strong offensive showing. Too bad he can’t double up as linebaker.
Abie had a nice week. If he played most other teams he would’ve extended his winning streak. The good? Aaron Jones is a juggernaut. Amari Cooper dropped a rock solid 27.4. Again, can this guy play safety? Mark Andrews decided to stop stinking. The bad? Tyler Lockett got the silent treatment from Russell Wilson. The ugly? Kennyan Drake. Yikes oh man this guy stinks. Mahomes did fine. If he did what he’s capable of I would’ve sweat through my chicken bucket szn shirt. Go Yanks. Beans 142.9 – Abie 126.2
Jack v. Brent
This was a big one. Jack has looked good. If he could top Brent he would really get some looks as a big time contender. All I can say is get out of Brent’s way because he’s a goddamn freight train. Choo choo.
There’s no eye popping performances from when looking at Brent’s roster. Everyone did their job and did it well. Well, except Julio Jones, but Matt Ryan forgot how to throw footballs. Chris Carson recovered nicely from what looked like a very ugly injury. Melvin Gordon introduced himself to the City of Denver. Zeke did nothing in the game but somehow put up 16.5. Brent also pulled off one of the most notorious trades in the history of The League last week in which he got hooked up with Kelce. There will be a lot more talk of this trade but Brent only got 8.5 out of the second rounder. You definitley want more but it didn’t end up mattering.
Jack saw the Dallas Cowboys were playing the Cleveland Browns and figured it would be a good move to pick them up, because The Browns, as the name suggests and a certain widereceiver enjoys, are shitty. It really truly does make a lot of sense. The only issue is the Cowboy’s defense is the worst in the history of the National Football League. It is bannana’s bad. You know the classic video of EDP putting on his Eagles gear saying that, “he’s going in because he will play with more heart and passion than any of their sorry asses?” That’s me watching this defense. -9.0! Holy shit! That is the worst score I ever remember seeing in fantasy football. This will be in textbooks. If Jack played basically any other defense and Austin Ekeler didn’t blowout his hammy he probably would’ve won. Kittle was spectacular. Josh Allen is elite. Terry McLaurin was the play. Jerry Jeudy had a nice Thursday night. It was all for not. Brent 136.3 – Jack 116.9
Lebron v. Andrew
Let’s be honest – we all wanted this to end in a tie. That would’ve broken the internet or at least this website. Our servers can only handle 5 pageviews per day. Fortunately for Lebron and unfortunately for those who like to laugh, there was a definitive winner in this week’s battle of the bad aka the battle of the blackouts.
Waking up last Sunday Lebron needed four things – food, water, shelter and to win this fantasy football matchup. It was imperative. Due to COVID-19 Lebron needed a new QB and elexted for Joey Heisman’s. Burrow is going to enjoy a long career, hopefully not entierly in Cinncinati, and I expect him to be a starter in The League for years to come. It would’ve been fun for him to have a big welcome to the Burrow show week. He didn’t but he’s better than Jarred Goff. Kareem Hunt stepped up following Chubb’s heartbreaking injury. Mike Davis gave Panthers fans a reason to not be miserable. Devin Singletary and Devante Parker want to stay starters for the rest of the year. If you’re Lebron you’re not thrilled with Higbee aka Higsbee aka Ned Bigby.
Andrew is self declared officially dead. The death certificate lists the cause as “Lebreezy.” In the grand scheme of things, COVID ruining Andrew’s week in fantasy is, without a doubt, the least heartbreaking aspect of the pandemic, but the imapct is undeniable. He lost Derrick Henry, his first round pick, and AJ Brown. The comish decided to move in a different direction from Carson Wentz and he decided to pick up an almost equally as bad Jared Goff. Jared got paid, checked out and gave Andrew a pitiful 11.7 points. Everyone has a blacklist of players they won’t ever give another chance. Miles Sanders is going to find himself on Andrew’s list. Darrell Henderson is no Derrick Henry. Russell Gage did not give Andrew the billion points he needed Monday night to win. The positives? Gurley Benjamin Buttoned himself and had a nice week. Allen Robinson had his second solid week in a row. That’s about it. Lebron 119.7 – Lebron 96.0
Max v. Kris
This was a close one. Kris’s team is absolutely decimated and he still eeked victory out. If he can get get back to full strength we may have a third choo choo in the mix.
Russell Wilson had a down week and still dropped 20.9. McKinnion stepped up really nicely for Kris. Kupp and Diggs are planting themselves as consistent producers. Randy Bullock, who is the Bengals kicker if you’re like me and had no idea, went off. Kris needs Devante Adams back because Valdez-Scantling ain’t it. Hopkins had a bad week. Hayden Hurst has regressed to his mean following a solid week two quickly. Kris got burned by Colts D/ST last week so bad he picked them up this week. I can confirm he didn’t get the 90 points that I got against Kris last week, but it didn’t matter.
Man oh man did Max miss Leonard Fournette this week. If Rex Burxhead wasn’t so bad our friend in the deep south would’ve been celebrating a week well won with some sweet tea or whatever people in Alabama do. Lamar did his thing. Kamara will likely last another week as being featured in Max’s team name. Mike Evans and his new bff TB12 are really hitting it off. Max didn’t need this win, but he had a chance to cop a win against an injured Kris, and he squandered it. KRis 126.2 – Max 123.8
Alex v. Ryan
Ryan had a chance to finaly get into the win column. He gave it his all. He really did. Is he the new Alex? Big points with nothing to show for it. It really sounds like it.
I can’t believe Alex is rolling with Matthew Stafford but he had his best week to date so at this point let’s keep the party going. I wanted Adam Thielen and Alex stole him from me like Jean Valjean. OBJ shit all over the Cowboys but anyone is able to do that. Chiefs D/ST stepped up. If I’m Alex I’m extremley worried about Josh Jacobs. Julian Edelman needs to not start. Zach Ertz continues his downward trend. Sounds like problems Alex didn’t need to worry about this week.
Ryan was the third highest scoring team this week. He just hapens to play the second highest scoring team. Aaron Rodgers is continuing his Fuck You tour. Joe Mixon had a career day. Chark did that thing where he goes off once or twice a year. Ryan’s first round pick, Clyde Edwards-Helaire, has yet to truly breakout following his solid first career game in week one. Marvin Jones Jr and Mike Gesicki stink. Michael Gallup didn’t contribute to the powerful Cowboys offensive efforts. If he’s not going to contribute on offense then maybe he can help out on the otherside of the ball. It was just one of those weeks for Ryan.
Best Team: Alex (148.5)
Worst Team: Andrew (96.0)
Best Player: Joe Mixon 39.1
Worst Player: Cowboys D/ST (-9.0)
This week was a movie oh my god. There are some big plotlines brewing. There was an onslaught of waiver wire moves and I highly recommend you read Jack’s piece analyzing everything you need to know. Can Andrew and Ryan do anything to save their seasons? Can Kris keep acting like the 2019 Yankees? Is Alex going to end his fantasy career on top? Most importantly Brent and I play each other. This is the biggest matchup in the history of The League. Get ready. It’s war. Week 5 begins in less than 24 hours. I know you’re ready. I sure am.
Hey fellas, here we are again! We had another week of heroics and heartbreak, and I’ve made it my job to zoom in on the misfit players looking for glory and the owners who for better or worse spend their precious resources on them.
This week had some interesting developments; with the official introduction of COVID-19 into the NFL, players were being added and dropped but still secured on the “COVID IR” which has confused some but surprised none. Week 5 games seem to still be up in the air, so expect some more craziness in next week’s column (if the season lasts that long).
A few clarifications to the main table above since I changed it up a bit from last week:
-Column K’s difference is Dollars minus Points, pretty much a Bang-For-Your-Buck metric. Obviously QBs will generally have higher points overall and kickers less, but it’s fun to see who “wasted their money”.
-Column N’s difference is your opportunity cost for the player you dropped. It’s a less effective metric if the players are different positions or weren’t a starter, but it shows your future-predicting skills nonetheless.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into it. The MOST EXPENSIVE player of Week 4 was also the BIGGEST BUST! Max obviously saw my hilarious tweet about Rex Burkhead and decided he needed to have him, spending one-fifth of his total FAAB bucks on the RB (no one else even bid on him). Cam Newton contracting the ‘rona probably didn’t help, but Brian Hoyer and Rex look so much alike there should’ve been some kind of connection. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case, and Max dropped a close close game to Kris.
The story of the defenses continues with Kris in Week 4, where he picked up the number 1 Colts (8 points for 8 bucks) in exchange for the Cardinals (-2), the positive 10 point difference being the second highest of the week. The Norse Horse also had one of the most favorable waiver adds with Randy Bullock, who kicked his way to 17 big ones for the Bengals and Dirty Mike and the Boys. I just realized there isn’t even anyone on your team named Mike, what’s with the name? McKinnon, maybe? I guess anything to forget the implication of “Boats and Younghoes”. This will be the first of many wrong predictions I’ll have made in this series, but it turned out that Kris’ early scrambling last week worked out in his favor, and I bet he’s pretty glad his $1 offer for Mason Crosby didn’t go through. More on that later…
The next matchup played out entirely on the auction block, no waiver moves from either (as you’ll see in the new “waiver summary” at the bottom). Brendan had two very solid and efficient pick-ups for $7 each: Alexander Mattison (7.7 points, didn’t start) and Rams D/ST (12). There’s nothing really special about these picks, and Beans Corp. is pretty unstoppable regardless so I don’t have much else to say. This series is about good waiver moves, not so much wins and losses.
The clear winner of the week’s waiver moves was Abie, and I’ll tell you why. A pretty efficient offer of $11 FAAB for the ever-reliable Cole Beasley, a perfectly efficient $6 acquisition of Mason Crosby–as a numbers guy I just love when that K-diff is 0–and the late STEAL OF THE WEEK in Mr. Tom Brady. Sadly, Abie decided to start Patrick Mahomes instead (who wouldn’t?) and ended up losing a pretty close game. On the bright side, he saved $10 on an offer for Justin Jefferson, the most saved this week. Look out for this guy, he’s still got 2/3 of his FAAB bucks, he’s gonna be quick on the mouse all season, and might make a late-season push once he mixes and matches the perfect squad.
Now we’re getting to the moments that some of us would rather forget. The match-up of two 0-3 teams is like a slow-motion car wreck: agonizing to look at but you kinda want to see how it ends up. This was the battle of the Andrews. Vigs got Jared Goff for $2, pretty solid right? In reality, the guy turned into Jared Goof (another typo from when I was writing his name back in that last sentence) this week against the G-Men. To make matters worse, Carson Wentz scored nearly 10 points more than Goff while riding Brent’s bench (more on that later). Poor performances from Darrell Henderson Jr. ($10) and Russell Gage ($5) added insult to injury in a loss that could’ve been avoided had Wentz, Jarvis Landry, and Damien Harris started. Let’s not dwell on it though, this is getting long.
Lebron didn’t have a much better week, having to drop his precious Big Ben due to COVID delays and picking up Joe Burrow, who didn’t do great fantasy-wise in his first NFL win. Something tells be the Bengals win was more important to him, I don’t know. The only offer Lebron made this week hit for Justin Jefferson, although he could’ve gotten the Vikings WR for $1 or $0. Gotta start being careful with your budget there! He also made the blunder of the week by letting go of Tommy B for Gronk, my notes for this transaction just say “oof”. Guess it didn’t really matter, because God was listening and gave this man a win anyway.
The last two games had next to no auction/waiver impact, but here’s a (hopefully) quick rundown: I picked up the Cowboys defense (if you can even call it that) in the second-worst blunder of the week. Brent added Robert Tonyan for no one and then dropped him for Carson Wentz, sounds like there’s trouble in paradise for Brent and Deshaun Watson 0_0. Tonyan dropped a quick 30-burger but it didn’t matter because of Austin Eckler’s injury on my side and the Cowgirls defense (that wasn’t a typo). Alex had some pretty low-stakes, low-dollar pick-ups in Auction, added and dropped Dalton Schultz who turned out to be a hot item, but his big move was grabbing the Chiefs D/ST for free. They scored 18 points and helped him defeat Ryan, who played around on the waiver wire a bit but kept a tight fist around his FAAB bucks.
That about wraps it up for Week 4! If you made it this far, I love you (but you probably already knew that). Someone should write a new column about trades, I was thinking about getting into them here but that’d be way too much content for one sitting. My advice: don’t pick up the Cowboys defense, and as always, don’t spend it all in one place. This has been The Wire, go League.
Next week: Ryan finally spends some FAAB bucks!!
…on two tight ends??
^FAAB Summary
^Waiver Summary, only includes adds and drops, all $0 transactions. Ryan’s two moves actually netted to 0 (one got him 6.3 and the other lost him 6.3, which is think is really cool too.)
Alright, alright, alright. Due to the unique nature of The League and our Free Agent Acquisition Budgets (that’s what FAAB stands for, who knew), I decided to run the numbers a bit and liven up the mid-week storylines so they don’t go unnoticed in the wee hours of Wednesday morning.
Introducing: The Wire. I’ll be taking a look back at the performance of the free agents who were picked up last week, speculating about the ones picked up this week, and analyzing everyone’s FAAB strengths and weaknesses. I’ll also dive a bit into those free agents who were added/dropped post-auction. Let’s begin with Week 3…
Boy oh boy, were there a shit-ton of injuries in Week 2. I think everyone had one of their first three picks go down with a multi-week or season-ending injury, and if it didn’t happen to you in this league it probably happened in another. The most sought-after player in The League on Wednesday, September 23rd was Devonta Freeman, the man who returned to the NFL to replace second-overall Giants star Saquon Barkley. I think everyone may have forgotten that the Giants are gonna Giant no matter who’s in the backfield. The big winner, or should I say loser in this case, was Kris, who spent a whopping $26 on this man (and that wasn’t even his biggest purchase this week). The one silver lining for Kris is that he decided not to start Devonta, who put up 1 point and is therefore the LEAST efficient pickup of the week. Kris also spent $27 on Jerick McKinnon and $15 on Dion Lewis who did not start and was dropped immediately, if you’re doing the math at home you know that Kris has not very many FAAB bucks left.
On the other side of the coin, we have Mike Davis. Now I don’t want to gas Lebron up too much, but he was the only person in The League to think of picking up the man who would replace number one overall Christian McCaffrey. Maybe it’s because the Carolina star’s injury isn’t season-ending like Saquon’s, maybe it’s because Mike Davis didn’t sign an emergency contract and was just kind of there already, kudos to you either way. This was actually one of the few position players who scored more points than FAAB bucks spent on him. Ultimately Lebron could not convert this smart spending into a win, as he did not start his new recruit and ended up losing a close game in which Davis outscored RB2 Kareem Hunt and Flex Devin Singletary. He also dropped Justin Jefferson who was quoted as saying “Thank God Almighty, free at last” and dropped a quick 27 on the Titans, only to be picked back up again by Lebron this morning for $10 (he actually beat Abie’s $10 bid in our first tiebreaker, don’t ask me how). I guess there are some things you can’t teach, better luck next week.
The biggest winners in the Week 3 auction, were interestingly enough the people who picked up defenses. Looks like I’m learning the names of some more defensive players because these guys are the real deal. The BIGGEST STEAL of the week went to Beans Corp. and their acquisition of the Colts D/ST for $7 and a whopping TWENTY-SEVEN points. Of course, playing the Jets didn’t hurt, but this defense was Beans’ second-highest scorer of the week in a very close game with Kris (see two paragraphs up). Brent also ditched the Bears and picked up the Bucs D for $3 and got 16 points for his trouble. Alex tried to sneak in with a $1 offer but had to stick with the Chargers, although I don’t think that would have affected the outcome of his matchup ;).
Speaking of the Vignali twins, they had quite a rough week of free agency. I love them to death and am forever grateful for welcoming us to their home on a weekly basis, but this got ugly, plain and simple. Andrew picked up Darrell Henderson Jr., who got 18.5 points sitting on the bench in a close loss and a drop to 0-3. Then, Russell Gage gave The Commush some negative returns (that was a typo but he’s Eddie Mush so I’m keeping it). Alex’s only pickup was his hero Rodrigo Blankenship, who for just a buck gave him a solid 11 points. He actually saved the most money on offers he didn’t get, so hopefully he’ll use that extra $17 wisely in the future. It looks like Alex also entered two identical offers of $5 for Devonta Freeman, which is weird but he definitely dodged a bullet there. The ugliness continued into the FA Add/Drops, with Alex’s pickup of the Chargers D/ST scoring 1 point less than the Seahawks who he dropped to make room, and Marquez Valdes-Scantling simply not showing up on Sunday. Andrew actually had a decent add post-auction with the Titans D/ST, giving him 13 points vs. the Browns’ 2, but it still wasn’t enough to get the win. If we didn’t love them so much, these two may have been better off ending their careers with The League as the Champ and the Top Scorer. Best of luck for the rest of the season.
You can see all of the auction results in the spreadsheet above, which is ordered a little more clearer than how ESPN puts it to show who bid on the same player(s) and the handy point total for the week of the pickup. I also included a FAAB bucks summary below, I didn’t include the remaining balance because ESPN only shows the current balances and subtraction is tough. Yes, I’m an accountant. I’m also hungry, so I’m not going to get much into Week 4’s auction without the point totals to show you all that you wasted your money again. Just based on the adds & drops so far today, I can tell you that Kris is in panic mode. We’ll see how that goes.
My advice: Spend your FAAB bucks wisely, pick whichever defense is playing the Jets or Giants, and don’t spend it all in once place. Ryan, you may want to start spending some of yours, buddy. Until next time, this has been The Wire.
This right here is a Declaration of War to 3 teams I will be playing in the upcoming weeks. When the teams I’m talking about read this we are NOT friends anymore just know you’re the ENEMY.
First, I want to talk about the worst team in the league and the one I will be playing this week. Marzy and Me the team that doesn’t even deserve to hold the belt he “wOn” with the way he has been preforming. This is a man who named his team after the manager of last years worst team in the league it’s no wonder his team is so bad. Him and his QB Jared Goff have a lot in common they’re both barely good enough to stay in the league. I am going to dismantle and destroy this team that can barely put together a 100 points in the first 2 weeks. And I’ll do that without even having my best players in my starting lineup.
On to the next team, HOCKEYPRO 69 gosh to talk shit about this team won’t even take much. Let’s start with the fact that the only two wins Abie has is against the two MOST bottom tier teams in the league. One of those teams I already shit on in the paragraph above and the other is Ryan who we just ironed out the punishment for being in last place in the previous year…enough said. Abie I like you but guess what? I don’t like you. Playing this guy who wont get that same breakout performance from Aaron Jones he got on his first win is going to make this a cake walk. This is going to be like last year when I beat Brent and proved that he wasn’t top tier. Now I’ll prove Abie’s team ain’t shit either…
Speaking of Brent aka The Flandrew’s the king of not being top tier I can’t wait to see you in week 6 when my whole team is back healthy and ready to absolutely DEMOLISH your scrub team. Last week, when we played each other not only did you get lucky but I didn’t even have McCaffrey. Should have been a win for me but as we all know shoulda coulda woulda. Our game had you sweating and you know it! This is going to be the game of the season and an absolute grudge match. The best revenge match you’ve ever seen. I can’t wait to prove that Brent isn’t top tier, will never be top tier and has NEVER BEEN TOP TIER!
To everyone reading this going “oH hE iS 0 aNd 3 He Is TrAsH.” Just know I’m coming for you next…
In the words of Micheal Jordan “I’m Back”
-Andrew J. Lebron Last Year’s Runner up and This Year’s Future Champion
Two weeks into the season and the NFL hasn’t shut down yet! You know that video of Paul Rudd on Hot One’s when he’s like, “who whoulda thought? Not me?” That’s how I feel about this season. Aside from the fact that every player in the NFL suffered a season ending injury, I would say this was a good week. We are settling into our roles this season – the good, the bad and the ugly. Enough small talk, let’s get into it.
Me v. Lebron
This is just one of those matchups. Two guys who talk the talk, but can they walk the walk? One of us backed up their shit talking and the other is experiencing backup from shit. To be fair, this was a pretty close contest. At one point, early in the day, it looked like Lebron was going to blow me out. Goonies never say die.
I was stressed as can be Thursday trying to decide on who to start – Tyler Boyd or Tre’quan Smith. I added Smith after Michael Thomas went down in week one. I was almost most folks. My roster flip flopped all day long. I may have flipped them legitmatley twenty times throughout the day. Most folks would’ve started Boyd. He’s the more established player. I ain’t most folks. Tyler Boyd is the type of guy you start if you want to finish in fourth place. Beans Corp don’t do fourth place. That seemed to be the right play all night last Thursday until Tyler Boyd naturally got the most obvious garbage time touchdown in the history of the National Football League. Whatever, I got 25.8 point from Chubb so I was happy. My RB1, Dalvin Cook, did well, giving me just over 16 points. Ridley is an absolute nutjob. He tore my beloved Dallas Cowboys up. All those guys are fine. It really just comes down to Dak. My guy dropped 39.8. Almost cracked the coveted 40 burger. What a beautiful person. He did so well that I got to make the rare move of benching my defense on Monday Night since Lebron didn’t have anyone going. If I lost because my D/ST got me negative points I would’ve quit mid season. Tre’quan smith gave me 11 points, by the way. What a move TY Hilton sucks. Whatever. On to the next one.
Is Lebron the new Alex? It is almost impossible to produce 135.8 points and lose but this is The League – where impossible happens. What went right? McCaffrey gave Lebron 22.8, but at what cost? Everything. Lebron won’t see the number one overall pick for some time. That scumbag Robbie Anderson did well. Tyler Higbee aka Higsbee was Lebron’s highest scorer. Kareem Hunt scared the shit out of me Thursday night putting up 23 points. What went wrong? Well, Tom Brady is 75 years old and a bad fantasy quarterback. You need more than 8.6 from Devin Singletary. Malcolm Brown continues the trend of disappointing Rams receivers. AJ Green is just nonexistent. I might file a missing person’s report. Hate to see it. Unless you’re me. Beans 154.2 – Lebron 135.8
Brent v. Andrew
Another marquee matchup. The biggest guy in The League against the Champ aka the comish. On the pod I predicted a Brent victory. I hate how right I was. This wasn’t just a win. It was a beatdown. Brent’s team did fairly well, but Andrew made it straight up uncompetitive. He is in serious trouble, as his blog post earlier tonight stated.
Brent survived terrible showings from Julio Jones and Will Fuller and mediocre performances from Watson and Ertz. How? He has the best running back duo in The League right now with Zeke and Carson. Keenan Allen and Melvin Gordon showed up. Bears D/ST dropping 13 points? Did I take a time machine to 2018? Jeez I sure hope this Mahomes guy pans out. What stands out the most to me is Brent getting 16 points from his kicker. I watched an E60 on Justin Tucker last year and he seems like a really good guy so this just warms my heart and potentially Brent’s wallet.
Andrew, Andrew, Andrew. We are very close from going from first to worst. This is like the Boston Red Sox trajectory. Win one year and then somehow implode in grand fashion the next. It’s just tough to watch. One of the lowest scored I’ve ever seen in the history of The League. You need double digits from Derrick Henry. Need. Peyton Barber dropping 0.1 is just a sad sight. It’s not surprising, but it certainly is sad. Side note – Andrew if you want Gibson hit my line. A normal Allen Robinson points total is like 7.8 or something. 4.8 don’t cut it. Imagine telling yourself two years ago Gurley would be on the Falcons and he would only give Andrew 6 points? You would laugh your way to the movie theatre to see Mid 90’s or whatever people did in 2018. Is there bright side? Miles Sanders did very well. Robert Woods did better than his usual goose egg. Darren Waller is turning into a start TE and could be the reason Andrew’s team has any chance of turning it around. It’ll take a lot though, but, hey, we went to the moon. Brent 119.8 – Andrew 87.8
Kris v. Jack
What a game. Wow. This was the closest matchup of the week. Kris may be the biggest victim of the injury plague that ravaged the NFL this week. Well, I guess the actual players who got hurt are the biggest victims, but Kris is a close second. He’s the San Francisco 49ers of The League. If his team stayed healthy, or David Johnson didn’t stink, he may have won.
Jack got his first win of the year thanks to Kyler Murray. It’s nice to see him panning out. Jack had Kyler last year too, right? This is growing into a beautiful friendship. Jeez I’m looking at Jack’s team and everyone did well. Terry McLaurin drops 22 points. My fingers couldn’t believe we were writing that sentence. If there’s one thing I know in this world it’s Wisconsin Badger football, so I could’ve told you a year ago Johnny Taylor was going to be a problem. Ronald Jones II produed 9.7, which is the most Ronald Jones II stat line possible. A really, really nice week from Jack.
Poor Kris. He dropped 141.6 points all while losing his first round pick, Saquon Barkley, early in the game, losing Devante Adams and having David Johnson. I feel so bad for Saquon. Two years of this. Devante Adams’s injury seems far less serious although he may miss this coming week. David Johnson is gonna David Johnson. Hey, to be fair 6 points is better than the .6 he would continually put up for me last year prior to him getting the scissors. Bright spots for Kris? Russell Wilson. What a man. He’s such a nice guy but will then drop 33.4 fantasy points on Jack. What a dangerous man. Want a hot take? DeAndrew Hopkins is really good. Hayden Hurst is a tight end who came out of no where but is producing very nicely. Diggs went nuts and dropped 25.3. Younghoe Koo, Kris’s team’s namesake said, “I’m sorry you have David Johnson, time to put the team on my back” and put up 17 points. Not enough. Jack 148.1 – Kris 141.6
Abie v. Ryan
The battle of last year’s 9th and 10th place teams. The content would’ve been hilarious if they both dropped like 60 points. Imagine they tied with a points total in the double digits. There would’ve been riots. Fortunately, or unfortunately if you’re me and need funny things to write about, that didn’t happen. Abie proved me wrong on the pod and had a nice classic HockeyPro69 performance.
Abie wrote in the group chat that me calling him out on the pod fired him up. You’re welcome, Abie. You needed this. Mahomes does Mahomes things. There’s not other way to put it. He is a fantasy bedrock and will be the reason Abie has any sort of run at all. Tyler Lockett did well, but that’s what happens when you got Russell slinging you the rock. Lockett’s solid 16.2 is irelevant when you look at what Aaron Jones did. Jesus Christ someone lock this guy up. 43.6 points. One of the most I’ve ever seen. He had a huge week last year too. Is he the new Derrick Henry? You tell me! If he had a very solid 19 points, something I would think it would be worth writing about, Ryan would’ve won. Cruel world. Kennyan Drake stinks. Mark Andrews had the first bad week he’s had in a while. That shouldn’t be too much of a concern for Abie. He’ll bounce back.
Ryan had a pretty good week. It wasn’t enough to overcome Aaron Jones, but, it was still pretty good. You know what though? The standings don’t care about pretty good. It cares about two things – wins or loses. Sink or swim. Survival of the fittest, etc. Ryan’s team all scored around the same amount of points. Seriously look at it when you get a chance it’s weird. Clyde, Mixon, Chark and Marvin Jones all scored 10 some odd points. The only one who really stood out was Mike Gesicki who dropped 23 points. Like any tight end dropping over 20, this is an anomaly and Ryan should not bank on this performance again. Hines did nothing. We’ve all done this – a player on your bench goes off and the next week you start them and they shit the bed. I call this Will Fuller syndrome. Get Tayson Hill in there. Abie 139.6 – Ryan 119.2
Max v. Alex
I feel like these are two guys who never play each other. I’m aware that this is impossible but in my mind these are two teams that just don’t cross each other’s paths. This was kind of like the Bucs playing the Chargers. It just doesn’t happen. As a result, I was psyched to see this play out. Alex joined the winners circle and Max woke up Alabama with his classic loud weeping following defeat.
It pains me to see Matt Stafford in a starting lineup. I know he’s good. Don’t show me the stats or argue with me. I understand he’s technically good. He dropped 16.2 which is, you know, what Matt Stafford is gonna do. Alex got nearly 18 points from Mostert until he fell victim to the 49ers injury bug. OBJ didn’t shit the bed this week, giving Alex 15.4 last Thursday. Kelce showed why he’s a second round pick, dropping 19.5. Alex’s best performer is surprising. Josh Jacobs? Nope. Adam Thielen? No, sir. Gotta be Seattle D/ST? WRONG! Parris Campbell? Good guess but nah. It’s Julian Edelman! Alex got clowned for that pick but look who’s laughing now. Rough week on Alex’s bench. Good thing this wasn’t a tie.
On the pod we both said Max is consistently one of the better teams but he’s never viewed as top tier. This would’ve been a good opportunity to shut us up. He absolutely squandered it. You’re just simply not top tier if you barley crack triple digits. Max got nearly 34 points from Kamara, 19 points from Hill, nearly 20 pints from Mike Evans and only scored a total of 104.5. How? Cam Akers stinks, Hollywood Brown stinks, Slayton stinks, Buffalo D/ST took a point away from him and Matt Prater stinks. That’s a whole lotta stink. If he played Fournette over Cam Akers Max’s week looks a whole lot better. He goes from losing to winning and having a pretty solid week. You rally want more from Lamar. 17.6 is not what you drafted him for. You really want Lamar Jackson to score more than just one point more than Matt Stafford. Yikes. Please don’t think I forgot, because I didn’t. Goose egg alert! Gronk putting up straight zeroes. Mike Greenberg and company on First Take is discussing Gronk right now as I write this. They agree that Max should be in full blown panic mode. Alex 119.9 – Max. 104.5.
Best Team: Beans (154.2)
Worst Team: Andrew (87.9)
Best Player: Aaron Jones (43.6)
Worst Player: Seattle D/St (-2.0)
How can you read this and be anything other than completely amped for this week? It’s The League! These injuries were heartbreaking and, for some, season jeopardizing. As a result, the waiver wire was HOT this week. Some serious FAAB bucks were flying. Will I ever lose again? Will Lebron and Ryan ever win again? Will Andrew ever crack triple digits again? How will everyone with major injuries turn it around? Is Jack going to go the distance? How did we let Brent assembly the roster he has? Is Max planning for next year? Is Abie here to stay? Is Alex happy he didn’t score 150 only to lose? There are just so many questions. They’re not for me to answer. Well, other than the one about me. No, I don’t plan on ever losing again. Week 3 starts in about 11 hours. I can’t wait. Until next time.
If you know anything about me, then you know I love 3 things: crushing beers, getting chicks and dominating our fantasy league. Sadly, I’m not doing much of either of the last two, and I have only myself to blame.
Based off my performance the last 2 seasons, I’ve come to expect nothing short of greatness from myself. I think we all have, which is why its both humbling to see my team at the bottom of the standings among the likes of Ryan, Abie and Jack. And its not like I’ve just been unlucky and performed well but gotten beat cause my opponent went apeshit. m]My team is just plain bad top to bottom. Derrick Henry? Why don’t you score a td for once. Carson Wentz? What was I thinking? Todd Gurley? Nightmare. I could go on an on but you get the idea.
Where did it all go wrong? Did I do something to upset the Fantasy Football Gods? Was it a lack of mock drafts? Did two years of dominance go to my head? In the fantasy world, it was like I was playing Madden with the sliders all the way up and autotrades on. Oh shit, Saquon Barkley is on a bye? No problem, I’ll just pick up Ronald Jones on the waiver wire and have him drop 35. It was too easy. I pushed every right button. I mean usually I wake up on Sunday morning, check my ESPN app, and I already have been given the win.
To say I’m displeased with my teams performance doesn’t even do it justice. I life, breath and die with The League. Everything I do is with my eyes on the prize, the coveted Fantasy Belt (which if you need reminding is currently in possession). I don’t even care about the prize money. Seriously, I’ll donate it this year if I win. I just want to hold that belt over all your heads–gloating in my victory– cause I know all y’all would to the same.
So allow me to quote the immortal Mets OF Tim Tebow, “You will never see a Fantasy Owner in the entire country play as hard as I will play the rest of the season, and you will never see someone push the rest of their fantasy team as hard as I will push everybody the rest of the season, and you will never see a fantasy team play harder that we will the rest of the season”. I’m pledging to be better, and in the end I am going to take home what’s rightfully mine. I promise you that.
Must Be Sunday 