I cannot believe the last few days happened. Myself, Andrew and some assortment of the Boken Boys and call in’s will do our usual deep dive tomorrow but I’ve been jacked up for nearly 24 hours so I needed to get some thoughts down on paper (my phone screen) to try to chill.
To quoteAndre Romell Young, M.D, “damn that shit was dope!” Max and I had a stinker but it ended with possibly the most stressful and entertaining Monday night game in League history. Andrew had an all time come from behind win over Kris. This week had incredible playoff performances, unforgivable duds, love, magic and a bizarre case of the Seahawks not announcing who was playing quarterback for them until 8:10 pm. Pure cinema.
I heard Kris is now permanently mute. Someone told me that. Truly heartbreaking for the defending champ and all around nice guy. He really got boned by Justin Herbert’s injury and Derek Henry having a historically bad day. Andrew gifted Kris five free points to start the week on Thursday night by starting Chargers D/ST. Through Saturday and the early slate on Sunday it was looking mighty sunny for Kris. Back to back champ type shit. Unfortunately, the blue skies gave way to Hurricane 4:20 Slate. My. God. CMC and James Cook combined for 74.3 points. Kris couldn’t recover. Barn burner. Real good matchup.
On the flip side, max and I both sucked. I had debilitating injuries to big names like Josh Jacobs and Chris Olave and extremely poor play from my season saver Dak Prescott and soon to be former big name Breece Hall. Max’s team played like a 5-9 team. He also left a lot of points on his bench. Ultimately, Max willed himself to defeat. I have never encountered a more negative miserable person in my life. Every fifteen minutes on Monday he would text me some variation of “congrats on the win.” Not just during the game but from the moment I woke up. He was very clearly trying to do the old reverse jinx but all it did was aggravate me. I hit him with the reverse double jinx card which led to the dreaded triple jinx. True “Art of War” shit. Beans Tzu.
I cannot wait to talk about this mayhem with my friends on the pod. It is crazy to think there are two weeks of this left. One of my business guys told me there’s a bidding war between major Hollywood studios to get the rights to this story. Miles Teller will finally get Best Actor in his magnum opus performance playing Beans.
When I was baptized in late 1996 or early 1997 (I don’t know how old babies are when they take the plunge) the water must’ve been contaminated with bad juju. I’ve never dealt with any loss whatsoever, I grew up in a stable home, I’ve never wanted for anything, I’m pretty smart and have a fulfilling job, I have wonderful family and friends and have countless happy memories. My life has seriously been an endless loop of good luck and good times. With all of that being said I can’t help but to think I’m cursed. Maybe the baptism water was actually budlight.
All night Jalen Hurts looked like a deer in headlights. I believe he had less than 2 points going into halftime. One tush push and Jake Elliot extra point later I’m up by just over ten. Our friend Watson at ESPN keeps telling me I’m still going to win. Luckily I know better. I know how it goes. I texted it to Kris this afternoon. I told him Hurts would start slow and then score some late bullshit shove touchdowns. One monster pass to D. Smith and tush push later I’m losing by just under two points.
I needed the chiefs to score a quick touchdown and then hurts throw a pick. Unlikely but not outside the realm of possibility. If it was anyone else in the League it would’ve happened. But because it’s me and everything sucks always you know how it goes. Mahomes had a dime to MVS which would’ve set them up for an easy td. Maybe they even would’ve pushed Pat’s tush. Instead he has the worst drop I’ve ever seen. A couple plays later the chiefs are at about 4th and 150,000 and they don’t convert. I lose.
Not only do I lose but the Eagles win which actually pisses me off in real life more. This was an all around catastrophic night.
I never get wins like this. I never get wins like this. I never get wins like this.
I don’t know how much longer I can do this. Every week it’s some fucking bullshit, man.
I would like to make the playoffs because it’s fun but honestly the stress of win or go home is too much so I won’t even mind if I’m on the outside yet again.
That’s not to say I won’t be trying my hardest. I’m going straight to confession tomorrow to account for the few sins I’ve committed since I last went to confession in probably 2010 before my confirmation. After I tell the priest about the one time I accidentally cussed in 2013 maybe he’ll give me some fantasy advice. Or will use his godly magic power to transport me back in time and prevent football from ever being invented.
“I’mmmmmm going throughhhh chaaaanngeeessss.” – Christian McCaffrey and me.
Wow! The former first overall fantasy pick and I are really going through earth shattering life transitions at the same time. Mr. McCaffrey is moving to San Francisco and I’m growing a mustache.
Christian McCaffrey has only ever played on the Carolina Panthers and I’ve never grown a mustache before. The talented back has played in San Francisco a couple of times, and I’ve had above the lip hair before as I’ve been bearded up the last couple of years, but I’ve never gone for the full, solo mustache. We are truly both embarking on uncharted territory. I take comfort in knowing that I’m going through my period of massive transition at the same time as someone else. I’m sure Christian, I feel like I can call him that, feels the same.
So, I know what you’re thinking. “Beans, growing a mustache is a big change for you. Are you sure you’re okay?” Yeah, man. I’m okay. Some of you have very nicely reached out to express your support for me while I go through this mustache growing period. I appreciate it. I truly do. I just hope you reach out to Christian as well. We are both going through changes.
You see, while I’ve never grown a mustache before, and I’m a bit worried about what a mustache future looks like, at least I’m not packing up and moving across the country! Our man CMC better call his boys to help get him moved quick because he has a game in San Francisco in two days!
As I mentioned before, he’s played in San Francisco before. Two times according to the worldwide web. The first time was on 9/10/2017, although the Panthers website incorrectly lists the date is 12/10/2017 which threw my research off for a few seconds. In this 23-3 Panthers victory CMC had 18 attempts and rushed for 47 yards. A 3.3 yard average. He also had five receptions on seven attempts for 38 receiving yards. Zero touchdowns. If my math is incorrect, and it may not be because I get donkey brains after midnight, he served up a mid eleven fantasy points.
Since the original League was scraped and deleted from ESPN when Andrew’s Napoleonic coup d’état came to be in 2018, I can’t tell you who had the rookie back, but he certainly didn’t win them their week. It’s a different story the second time he played in San Francisco. This came during his run of fantasy dominance in the 2019 season. What a time. That was before I ever even had a beard, much less thought of growing a whole ass mustache. The niners blew the Panthers out of the San Francisco Bay winning 51-13! Despite the real-life football debacle, CMC did prime 2019 CMC things. He had 14 carries for 117 yards, an 8.4 yard average rush! The man also scored a touchdown. Oh, and he also casually had 4 receptions for 46 yards (on 11 targets though, weird). Since this was post military takeover, I can tell you exactly how this stellar performance impacted The League. As we all remember, Francisco Franco himself, Andrew Vignali, was lucky enough to roster CMC in 2019 (the year he won the championship). In this week 8 matchup against our very own Jack Staub, Andrew coasted to a solid 144-125 victory in large part due to CMC’s remarkable 25 points. Remember when scores used to be like that back when football players were good at playing football?
CMC is heading to his new home with some positive feelings from the last time he was there. Good for him. Good for Kris, who currently rosters him. Bad for me, who is playing Kris this week.
Saying that, I do wonder how I can focus on fantasy football when I’m mid mustache growth! I guess I just need to balance all that life is throwing at me the best I can. I can do this. I can handle growing this mustache and getting my fantasy team back on track. If CMC can handle his massive transition, then I can handle mine. Mustached Beans by a billion this week. I just need to find a way to overcome my fellow challenge tackler.
It’s August 9th so naturally I’ve done 15,000 mock drafts. I am seeing the board extremely clearly. 20/20 vision. I know what kicker you’re going to take. I know why you like that certain player and I know why you shouldn’t. I know who is going to start the quarterback rush. I know who is going early on Amon-Ra St. Brown. I know who is going to be diagnosed with Will Fuller Syndrome first. To quote Lil Wayne, “I can see the end in the beginning.”
You ever see Men in Black 3? I think it’s good. I saw it once. I don’t remember the specifics but there’s some character who can see into the future. I don’t know if he’s an alien or a Man in Black or what’s good with him but he can see the future, so he knows the Mets are going to win it all in ’69. Or something like that. Again, I saw it once and I live such a rockstar lifestyle I can’t remember too good. Anyway, assuming my memory of that character is correct I’m like that guy.
A couple days ago I was walking to the subway on my commute home from work and popped into one of those $5.00 psychic reading shops. I met with one of the psychics and she called me a colleague. We also shared a laugh over everyone we foresaw drafting Courtland Sutton far too early.
I don’t want to spoil anything for everyone else, so I’ll just issue a warning so everyone knows going into it – this draft is going to be weird. It seems like the board hasn’t changed a tremendously large amount in the last few years. Especially between 2020 and 2021. All the usual running backs, Devante, Kelce, etc. Straight forward. Easy. No more. Folks, we are in a new era of fantasy football.
Just look at the rankings! I hope you folks have been doing your homework. Have you seen all these wide receivers in the top 15? Cam Akers at 22? Nick Chubb at 33?!? It’s a whole new world!
Now, I’m pretty confident most of the boys are all in on running backs in the first round. 3-4 are fully committed to running backs in the second round two. There is going to be some high-quality receivers hanging around in round three.
There are huge question marks surrounding players ranked between 25-50. Barkley. Zeke. Dobbins. Terry. Gibson. Hollywood. DK. Truly, I think every single pick in rounds 3-5 are going to elicit “wooooaaaahhhhhh” and half the people will mean it was a good pick and half will mean it in a negative way. This is truly bonkers. I don’t think you realize how crazy this is going to be. The boys are finna have the zoomies. Max is going to take Mike Williams in the fourth round and I’m going to start floating. Ryan is going to draft JuJu in the fifth round and we are all going to start shuffling like that Jimmy Neutron episode when they can’t stop dancing. Is that a fake memory? Might be. Abie is going to take Brandin Cooks and Andrew is going to laugh at him but panic on the inside because he lowkey wanted Cooks for a good value. It’s going to be mayhem.
I’m sitting here bored as shit because I got the ‘vid. Everyone knows I had an illustrious streak of negative test after negative test. Everyone knows this. In the nearly two years since the virus came in like a wrecking ball I’ve had that swab suck up my lil nostrils countless times. Always negative. Then January 19, 2021 happens. All good streaks must come to an end. Just look up what happened on July 17, 1941.
“If you weren’t thinking you wouldn’t have thought that” – Michael “Squints” Palledorous. I find that throwaway line from “The Sandlot” incredibly profound. I legitimately say it to myself often when I find myself getting stressed out by things I can’t immediately fix. I’ve got a lot of adult things to worry about, like work and shit with my car, so spending several days alone isn’t great for the old brain department. Therefore, the healthiest thing I can do is think about fantasy football. And, boy, while locked up the last few days, I’ve been doing a lot of that.
All the fantasy content folks are ripping off their ice cold takes about the upcoming fantasy season, despite the fact the ’21 NFL season is still underway! Crazy! I bet the majority of the people think they’re spewing nonsense to get clicks because fantasy draft szn is seven months away. So much can change between now and then! Truly the worst types of clickbaiters. With that in mind, here at MustBeSunday.com we are so three-thousand-and-eight and all the other guys are so two-thousand-and-late. So, fuck it, here’s my projected 2023 first round for The League.
Brad. I think Brad is going to have a monster 2022 and his hot streak will continue by winning the ’23 royal rumble. Brad opts for the first pick, which the last few years have shown he shouldn’t do, but how can he not, when the option to pick Jonothan Taylor is right there. Yes, folks, that’s right. J-Tay is extremely the real deal. The clear number one running back this past year is going to continue to dominate in ’22, especially since Carson Wentz can’t be trusted to throw the football, and be the number one overall pick for the second year in a row in ’23. Aside from their divisional matchups, the Colts will be playing the NFC South and AFC North in 2023. Taylor is going to absolutely feast on the defenses of the Falcons, Texans and Ravens. Clear number one. Way to go, Brad.
2. Abie. It seems like Abie is always in the back end of the middle picks. When I think of Abie I think of the sixth pick. Well, luckily for our guy Abie Bobby Lashley came through for him in the rumble, finishing in second place, getting thrown out of the ring by Umaga, Brad’s character. Abie opts for the second pick and selects none other than Derick Henry. The Last Dance. This will be his eighth season of an unforgettable career. Unfortunately for Abie in the ’21 season the King missed the final nine games of the year. Could this be the rest needed to give him some extra juice? Maybe! I’m always a glass half full guy. The Titans lead back is clearly going to play a big role next year, playing well enough to give Abie a reason to grab him with the second pick overall. Will the machine handle yet another massive workload in what will be year eight?
3. Because of Kofi Kingston, Andrew is going to have a choice at what pick he wants and it’s going to take him forever and then he’s going to go, “you know what fine alright fuck it I hate it but, oh my god, I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna take the third pick … FUCK!” Then he’s going to draft Najee Harris. Najee Harris had the rookie year that people thought CEH was going to have in ’20. I think people were actually a bit higher on CEH, but, still, Najee clearly was the best rookie going into the season and he certainly played like it. He finished RB4! On a horrible team! Nice. I don’t know if the Steelers are going to be much better come 2023, but year three Najee is going to be a problem.
4. Brent is going to pick right behind Andrew and it’s going to be a thing we hear about everyday in the six week period between the rumble and the draft. Andrew is going to talk shit and Brent is going to send his butterfly emjois. We all know this. Some things don’t change. One thing, however, that will have changed between now and then is Brent is going into the ’23 season fresh off a last place finish. What?! Javtone Williams of the Denver Broncos. Williams finished as RB17 this past year. Very solid, especially for a rookie. In ’22 he’s gonna make the leap over our old nemesis Melvin and further grow into that dude. He put up nice numbers despite only scoring four touchdowns in ’21. Rumor is the Broncos are looking to bring in a big time QB, someone who may be married to an RnB singer who is currently on the Seattle Seahawks. You may need to do some mental gymnastics to figure out who I’m talking about, but once you do, you’ll see why that’s huge for Williams. People make football far more complicated than it needs to be. Good offenses score more touchdowns. A better QB in Denver will make their offense better and therefore score more touchdowns. Javonte Williams will score some of those touchdowns. Easy pick. Nice one, Abie.
5. Tommy Bonez, you’re on the clock! We all know this guy loves Austin Ekeler. Austin Ekler this, Austin Ekler that, etc, etc. Ekeler proved his worth by having a dominating ’21 campaign, finished RB2 overall. Will he produce enough in 2022 to justify being a top five pick? You bet! Really good running back! This will be the third year in a row Thomas drafts Ekeler in the first round and by January 2024 they are real life friends which is sweet because I’ve never been friends with someone who is friends with a pro athlete before and that’s a cool thing to tell people.
6. Beans Corp. I’m going to draft Alvin Kamara . I will act confident, but die on the inside because I actually wanted to draft DeAndre Swift. I’m going Kamara solely on name which is DUMB drafting! Idiot! However, despite the fact the Saints have turned into one of the weirdest teams in football, Kamara is an asset and will still be first-round-worthy 21 months from now.
7. Jack takes DeAndre Swift and I shed a single tear because that’s the right pick here. 7th pick overall? I mean obviously. Jack drafts well. We all know this. Gotta take fourth year Swift here. I don’t think it’s a ridiculously scorching take to say the Lions are likely to be better in 2023. They have to be. In 2022 Swift is going to face the defenses of the Jaguars, Jets, Giants and Seahawks. Will be huge for his season totals. Clear first rounder going into ’23.
8. Where will Max be drafting from come 2023? I sure hope it’s with us in person, but who knows. Since we’re predicting things, I’m going to guess he will be in Charlottee, North Carolina. Moving in the overall direction of Bristol, kid. Max is going to fuck with us and act like he’s going to take Mike Williams to the point where we start to believe him and scramble through The League rules about the proper procedure to invoke the 25th Amendment. Just when he has us getting ready to attack he takes Joe Mixon. So boring omfg. Such a fantasy football guy. Seems like he’s been around for fifteen years. Joe is going to build upon his amazing ’21 campaign next year and prove he is first round material. Still, so boring.
9. Kris was the ninth pick in 2019 when I was the tenth. That was a fun draft. That was a fun time. Until the Uber to White Plains Debacle of 2021. “I would die for my boys to go to White Plains! You’re not even advocating for me to go!” Anyway, Kris takes Ja’Maar Chase here. I mean, this is obvious, right? You’re watching Kris sipping on Moon Rock Hard Seltzer or whatever we are drinking in 2023. He slowly approaches the draft board and, what’s this?!?!?! He is looking through the wide receiver pile! It then takes him fifteen minutes to realize that Chase’s name isn’t in there because half of the kit came with stickers for players who retired in 2015. He writes Ja’Maar out on a blank sticker and places it on the board at #9. Kris then locks eyes with me and makes that face he does during drafts when he’s fake nervous and excited. Maybe he really is nervous. I’m not sure. I don’t want to know. Absolute wildcard.
10. Ryan takes rookie running back Bijan Robinson out of Texas who will be drafted by the Seatle Seahawks
Yeah there’s some big names not going in the first round. CMC? Fool us once, shame on you, shame on you, fool us twice, shame on me, fool us a third time, shame on whoever drafts him in ’22. No way does this man go in the first round. Barkley? Didn’t even think of his name until now. Zeke? It pains me to say, but no. He had a really good fantasy year in ’21, but man, he’s slowing down, huh? “Oh but uhhh Cooper Kupp just had one of the best fantasy seasons ever!” – you. “Yeah he did, but he is not going to come close to that in ’22 and as a result people will be scared to take him in the first round. Relax, I’m sure he will go in the second.” – me. Deebo Samuel? T Hill? Devante Adams? Justin Jefferson? Relax, we are a ten person league. Don’t reach. You all know better.
Folks, I will see you in 2023! I’m sure I will be pulling up to the Vignali’s house on a flying car like it’s the goddamn Jetsons. Regardless of how I got there, I know I’ll be walking home. Go League. Go 2023.
Da Commish gives a passionate post game interview after defeating HOCKEYPRO69 and clinching his 3rd playoff appearnace in 4 years
I think I got my swagger back. Ohhhhh. Ohhhhhhh. The fantasy playoffs are almost here and I’m as giddy as a little schoolboy. Plus, I also clinched a spot in the postseason. Go me! Anyway, since I enjoy writing these shorter Tier Lists better than the full team Power Rankings, I figured I’m just going to keep doing it. Don’t like it? Fuck you, pay me. I do this shit for the love of The League, fantasy football and your enjoyment. Oh, and the belt. I’m bringing that shit home.
Tier 1: The Worst Shit I’ve Ever Seen
South Jersey 4th & Schlong (Brad Peditto)
Yep, I’m going pretty blunt right out of the gate here. The Bradley’s are thiiiiiis close to cementing themselves as the proud owners of the worst performance in LeagueStory. Jack, pull up the data for me, but has anyone ever settled for a single measley win in The League? Not even Marzy’s inaugural 2018 team suffered this fate. To make matters worse, Keenan Allen is out with Covid this week. At least our man faces Thomas, the one team he has taken down, in a last-ditch attempt to right the ship.
Tier 2: Only Reason They Aren’t in Tier 1 Is Because Brad Exists
Beans Corp (Brendan Cahill)
To say things didn’t go right for Beans Corp in the ’21 season would be an understatement. The highlight of course was winning the Royal Rumble. Since that fateful July night, everything that can go wrong has gone wrong. We call that Murphy’s Law. Fortunately, Justin Herbert, CMC and De’Andre Swift played enough games for Beans to win at least a few games (the latter two he unceremoniously shipped off to Max in the biggest trade The League has ever seen). But at no point in this season was my co-host ever threatening to make a run for the belt. Expect some big changes this offseason.
Tier 3: Barely Breathing… But Alive
Bama Butts (Max Cohan)
HOCKEYPRO69 (Abie Leider)
Norse Horse (Kris Blaine)
The Martians (Ryan O’Connell)
What do these four teams have in common? Well, they got everything to play for this week. A victory on Sunday and they’re likely to land a spot among the “Sexy 6” teams playoff bound. Suffer a loss and its bye-bye, sayonara, thanks for playing. Think of it this way… if you lose on Sunday, you basically wasted the last 12 weeks of a life. Abie and Max currently have the slight upper hand, both at 7 wins compared to Ryan and Kris’s 6. However, Ryan and Kris own tiebreakers over their counterparts, both outscoring the aforementioned on the year. Got all that? If you don’t, it’s ok. Listen to this week’s episode of League Talk where we break it all down.
Tier 4: Good, Solid Teams
Thomas and Friends (Andrew Vignali)
Buffalo Bonez (Thomas Antonello)
This tier is pretty self-explanatory. Thomas and I are both good, solid teams. That’s why we land where we do. Now I’m not saying we’re the best, but we’re definitely far from the worst. We both have rightfully earned our playoff spots (technically Thomas hasn’t clinched but it would take a minor miracle for Bonez to miss the playoffs – he’d have to lose to Brad!!). Thomas and I are both deep at the right positions, RB-WR-QB. And it wouldn’t be particularly shocking if either of us make a deep playoff run. That’s pretty much all I have to say about that. Moving on.
Tier 5: The Defending Champ
The F’landrew’s (Brent Gotkin)
Fresh off a monster cuck job courtesy of Javaonte Williams of all people, the defending champion has clinched his playoff spot and is looking particularly dangerous. The biggest, baddest guy in both the bar and in The League, Brent is looking prime to do the one thing nobody has had the good fortune to ever do… go back-to-back. Stacked with the best WR, 3 top RBs, a solid group of TEs and a one of the top QBs, our man has it all. He’s kicking ass and taking names.
Tier 6: The Vegas Favorite
Jonathan Taylor 2.0 (Jack Staub)
Was he the best player available at the time, or did Jack just want to reuse his fantasy name for the second year in a row? Whatever his reasoning was, Jack ended up taking JT with the fateful 7th overall pick last August and looks like a fucking genius now. That’s right folks. Jack is currently going at -1000 to win his first League championship and take home this year’s prize money and Championship belt. All odds provided by DraftKings. It’s not hard to see why. He’s got like 5 of the top 10 players in fantasy this year when you include Brady, Patterson, Chase, Deebo and Tyreek Hill. Fuck, even George Kittle is rolling now. Honestly, I don’t see how my man loses unless lightning strikes the Colts practice facility and causes Taylor to miss the rest of the season. Man, I hope I didn’t jinx him.
Boom. Tier list done. I’m now in playoff mode. An unprecedented 14th week of the regular season kicks off tomorrow with Steelers-Vikings? This game would’ve been a good one back in the 70’s, but is far from a marquee matchup in in 2021. Still, I’ll be glued to my television screen since I have Mattison going. Fuck I hate when that happens. Anyway, before I wrap this up – I have one last tidbit to conclude this week’s column. Below, I will be summarizing the different playoff/clinching scenarios to be on the lookout for this week. As you’ll see, everyone still has a meaningful game left.
Current Standings*:
Jack – Clinched the first overall seed and bye
Brent – Clinches 2nd seed and bye with a victory
Andrew – Clinches 2nd seed with win and Brent loss
Thomas – Clinches playoff spot with victory, or losses by at least 2 of Abie, Max, Kris and Ryan
Max – Clinches playoff spot with victory, or losses by both Abie and Kris
Abie – Clinches playoff spot with victory, or losses by both Kris and Ryan
Kris – Clinches playoff spot with win and loss by either Max or Abie
Ryan – Clinches playoff spot with win and losses by Abie and Kris
Brendan – Can help me out by beating Brent
Brad – Can do the unthinkable, beat Thomas and maybe keep him out of the playoffs (its possible)
*For simplicity/tiebreaking purposes, all scenarios assume the current tiebreaking order of Total Points. Everything can go out the window if one team leap frogs another in Points Scored*
A #dead Commish weeps silently at the memory of his once proud winning streak. Wins are now hard to come by.
What up folks? Hope everyone’s Thanksgiving went better than mine. Considering I was the lowest scoring team for the 3rd time in 4 weeks, its not hard to believe that yours wasn’t. I am sad. But, I wanted to keep things fresh and interesting on the blog (coupled with the fact that I don’t want to dive too deep into my team’s pathetic performance), so I figured I’d do this week’s Power Rankings a little differently. Introducing, Da Commish’s Official Tier List. Similarly, to the Official Power Rankings, this tier list will highlight each team’s strengths and flaws, while allowing for a quick comparison and grouping of teams into similarly ranked tiers. Honestly, I’m just doing things differently this week to prevent me from jumping off the deep end. I know, it’s sad that fantasy football has ruined my life. But this is the life we’ve chosen.
Tier 1: The Stand-Up Comedian
South Jersey 4th & Schlong (Brad Pedditto)
Kicking us off to nobody’s surprise, Brad has officially clinched last place in The League and is now preparing for his big night behind the mic. By now, he must own every record of League futility, including a record 11 game losing streak. The most fucked up thing is Brad has actually been one of the better performing teams the past month or so, yet he still manages to go against the wrong guy every week. I mean compare his team to mine over the last 4 weeks. It’s a true perfect storm of bad injury luck, bad scheduling breaks, and just being plan bad. For this, he deserves a tier of his own.
Tier 2: Teams That Are Declared Dead
Thomas and Friends (Andrew Vignali)
Beans Corp (Brendan Cahill)
HOCKEYPRO69 (Abie Leider)
Yep, I’m good with calling this group officially dead. Well, Beans is literally dead, as he’s assured himself of missing the playoffs with his 4-8 record. Having CMC go down early, then trading for an injured Alvin Kamara, he has gotten a game out of his first-round pick since like late September. Sad. With even worse injury luck is my man Abie. You know already how bad it’s been (Derrick Henry, Michael Thomas, Raheem Mostert, Julio Jones). I can go on and on. Abie has lost like 4 out of 5 and his team has been performing worse and worse each week. Then there’s Da Commish. Everyone on my team has performed awfully for an extended period of time. Jalen, DK, Godwin, Dalvin, Jacobs… they all suck. I also pick the wrong TE to play each week. Anyway, I’ve scored under 100 in 3 out of the last 4. Fuck.
Tier 3: It Might Not Be Too Late To Turn Things Around
The Martian (Ryan O’Connell)
Norse Horse (Kris Blaine)
Both teams are still alive in the playoff race… barely. But at least they are trending in the right direction. Kris got bailed out by trading Chris Carson for CeeDee Lamb and Davante Adams. Ryan, had you only held on to the two, your team might be in a playoff spot right now. Ryan’s team is decent enough with Scary Terry, Gibson, Stefon Diggs and Mark Andrews, that he can do some damage should he squeak into a playoff spot. He just needs to pray to God he can win each of these last two weeks, while someone ahead of him drops 2 each. It’ll help if Russell Wilson remembers how to QB in the meantime.
Tier 4: I Don’t Know If They Are Good But They Are Certainly Better Than Me
Bama Butts (Max Cohan)
Buffalo Bonez (Thomas Antonello)
This tier is pretty self-explanatory. As of right now, Max and Thomas are the 3rd and 4th best teams in The League. They each possess solid, deep teams. Neither has many holes and it would not be overly shocking for either team to go on deep playoff runs. They can beat just about anybody any given week. It’ll be interesting to see how things shake out with CMC going down for the year for Max, and Calvin Ridley seemingly quitting on the Falcons and Tommy Bonez. But for now, this grouping feels just right.
Tier 5: Very Good Team But Not as Good As Jack
The Flandrew’s (Brent Gotkin)
There’s only one Jack, so Brent will have to do with being in a tier of his own. He’s had a pretty tumultuous season. The top guys on his team are all having outstanding seasons – Cooper Kupp, Joe Mixon and James Conner (you’re welcome). On the other hand, Zeke, Amari Cooper and AJ Brown have been very hit or miss. I’d say, Brent’s team probably possesses the most depth, and its only gotten stronger with Kareem Hunt back and Antonio Brown coming back soon. He’s been fucked with a lot of points against him, accounting for his poor record. But its clear that Brent will be a force in the playoffs.
Tier 6: Godly
Jonathan Taylor Thomas 2.0 (Jack Staub)
Simply put, Jack’s team is about as perfectly assembled as one can be. He absolutely nailed the draft by finding the QB4, RB1 and WRs 2,3 and 6. He added the best waiver pickup of the year early in the season (Cordarrelle Patterson) and has for the most part has skated by without many injuries to deal with – which we all now is just as important .as anything It didn’t even matter that George Kittle missed most of the season. He’s on like a 10 game winning streak and has all but locked up the #1 seed throughout the playoffs. Rightfully, he deserves the top tier all to himself.
Well, I hoped you enjoyed reading that as much as I enjoyed writing it (which is to say not at all). Another week kicks off in 24 hours with the Boys v the Saints from the SuperDome. Yeah, I know I already declared myself #dead… but I really need to win this week or I’m in huge trouble. Best of luck to everyone in the weeks to come and as always…
Gobble-gobble, motherf*ckers. Turkey day is finally here, my 2nd favorite holiday after Draft Day of course! Back in 1492 or whatever when God created Thanksgiving, he did so to celebrate the 3 F’s: family, food, and football. However, I don’t think even God could’ve predicated that a fourth F would quickly come along and trump the importance of the other 3 combined. I’m speaking of course about fantasy. This Thanksgiving, I’d like to quickly reflect on why I’m so thankful for fantasy. It has given me so many great memories of random NFL games over the years I would otherwise have no interest in. It has taught me the importance of personal finances and budgeting, particularly as it relates to FAAB. It has bought me my single most prized possession, the belt, which I rightfully earned as your 2019 Fantasy Champion, only to relinquish to Brent last year. I’ve been on a quest to get it back ever since. Most importantly, however, is that this “game” has kept me connected as a part of all your lives, for better or worse, for the better part of a decade now. Sure, we may now all live scattered across the tri-state area and no longer see each other with the frequency I would like, but I know where to find y’all come Sunday’s at 1:00 in the fall. I’ve got a lot of shit to do and not a lot of time to do it so I’m going to keep this one rather short….
#10. South Jersey 4th & Schlong – Brad Peditto (Previous Ranking: 9) Yeah, this one is easy. Brad has pretty much assured himself of the standup stage. Poor guy was victimized by this Sunday Night’s Cucking of the Week. Just add it to the long list of misery that has been the 2021 Bradley’s Fantasy season. Hopefully 2022 goes better.
#9. The Martians – Ryan O’Connell (Previous Ranking: 6) Ryan’s team is currently in free-fall. Only cracking 120 points once in the past 5 games and has lost 4 of those, it’s getting late early for our boy. Absolutely, absolutely has to win this week against Beans to have a shot, but even that might not be enough.
#8. Beans Corp – Brendan Cahill (Previous Ranking: 8) Honestly, they are close on paper with Ryan’s team but seeing as these are two teams trending in opposite directions, I’ll give Beans the slight edge here. Winner of 2 in a row, Beans Corp suddenly is seeing the board clearly again and feels dangerous. A massive, massive game awaits v Ryan in week 12.
#7. Norse Horse – Kris Blaine (Previous Ranking: 7) The last of the 4-7 teams, non-playoff teams but has the most point scored on the year, so I guess 7th is the right spot for the Nordics?? I honestly don’t know what to make of Kris’s team this year. Are they good, are they bad? They are in the League so I have to write about them, I just don’t really care to be frank. He’s playing Max this week so he’ll probably lose.
#6. HOCKEYPRO69 – Abie Leider (Previous Ranking: 3) Abie man, I’m sorry. What looked destined to be an all time great fantasy season for the 69ers was quickly derailed by some of the worst injury league (outside Brad) that we’ve ever seen. Derrick Henry, Raheem Mostert, Julio, D Hop, etc. etc. have all missed extended time, at Pat Mahomes has had a slump. He started fast but has now faded fast and I’m real quick from officially declaring Abie #dead. Sad.
#5. Buffalo Bonez – Thomas Antonello (Previous Ranking: 5) I think Thomas has been ranked 5th for like 6 week in a row now. Anyway, his team is pretty decent at the top with Najee, Ekeler and Justin Jefferson and Lamar. I do have some concerns about that depth though, because after that top 4, you have an ok Marquise Brown and then not much else. Still, 4th most points at this stage of the season means for sure your team is for real.
#4. Thomas and Friends – Andrew Vignali (Previous Ranking: 10) Finally, after 2 poor weeks in a row, the boys finally got on track, and I enjoyed an easy one against Ryan. It appears my Jalen Hurts fears may have been overexaggerated. Dalvin Cook is starting to find the endzone again. Just need DK to get going and my team will be all the way back and one of the favorites come playoff time. I have a huge game against Jack this week.
#3. Abie Baby – Max Cohan (Previous Ranking: 4) I think Max might have pulled the trade of the Century with Beans to take his otherwise average team to one of the best on paper. I mean, Beans kept CMC stashed away on his bench for like 6 weeks, only to trade him to Max the day before he gets cleared to come back? Makes no sense. Add a fleece job of Thomas for Calvin Ridley and Max might be executive of the year.
#2. The Flandrew’s – Brent Gotkin (Previous Ranking: 2) Brent’s team is good. Sadly, they can’t break into the top spot because Jack’s team exists. So, it’s #2 for like the billionth straight week.
#1. Jonathan Taylor Thomas 2.0 – Jack Staub (Previous Ranking: 1) He has Jonathan Taylor, Deebo Samuel, Tyreek Hill, Ja’Marr Chase, Tom Brady. Enough said.
Biggest Rise: Thomas and Friends Biggest Fall: HOCKEYPRO69/The Martians
A huge Thursday of NFL action awaits us in week 12. Bears-Lions might be the worst Thanksgiving game of all time, but its still NFL football played on Thanksgiving, so I’ll be tuned in. I hope everyone has a safe, healthy, and Happy Thanksgiving. As always…
This is Mike Geisicki. In case you didn’t know, he scored 0 points on Thurday. I am sad.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH. The Sunday Scaries turned ever scarier for several League members in Week 10. It seems that myself, Brent and Abie are falling apart at the most inopportune time, while League bottom feeders Max, Ryan, Kris and Brendan are peaking simultaneously. Suddenly, everyone’s in the mix (except Brad but we’ll discuss him more later) and the waning weeks of the regular season are more important than ever. This is honestly when The League is at its best, when everyone has shit to play for and we all live and die with every point, every yard and every score change. Anyway, we’re all gearing up for what should be the greatest stretch run in LeagueStory with seemingly 9 teams in the mix for 6 playoff spots. Let’s do this…
#10. Thomas and Friends – Andrew Vignali (Previous Ranking: 10) Two weeks in a row in the shitter and I couldn’t be more upset. This one hurt as I was largely at full strength and still dropped a very winnable game to Max. My week got off to a shit start with the infamous Mike Geisicki goose egg on TNF and I was never able to get off the ground running. Godwin and DK must’ve still been drunk off their bye week excursions cause they both played liked they’d rather be anywhere else in the world than on a football field Sunday. Jalen Hurts got off to a rip-roaring start against Denver, going for over 20 points in the first half. But here’s the thing… he finished with 19. Do the math, he lost a point somewhere over an entire half of football. I finally got decent performances from Dalvin and Darrel Williams for the first time in what seems like forever. Now its all about putting it together so that everyone can have a big week at once. Anyway, I know I’m not the worst team in the League, but as punishment for 2 sucky weeks in a row, I must don the dunce cap as the League’s number 10 team.
#9. South Jersey 4th & Schlong – Brad Peddito (Previous Ranking: 7) Well, at least you’re not 10th. For the 3rd week in a row, the Bradley’s put up a valiant effort in pursuit of their 2nd win, only to just fall short. Down his top 2 RBs, QB and starting WR, Brad has now put up 100 points in 3 straight weeks. Solid! He actually got great games from his Eagles for once. DeVonta exploded and Boston Scott had his best game in a while. Pressed into emergency action, Derek Carr and Brandon Bolden both did just ok. Sadly, Brad was burnt by the other Pats RB, more on that later. Honestly, not even that many bad performances to report here. It was just the inability to score touchdowns that doomed the Bradleys. Outside of DeVonta’s two, no other Schlong found his way into the bonezone. That’ll have to change, and quickly, if Brad has any chance of getting off standup watch. Fortunately, some positive injury news should hit Brad for once with Chubb, Saquon and Kyler all back next week.
#8. Beans Corp – Brendan Cahill (Previous Ranking: 8) Is Beans back? Probably not, but he at least doubled his lead over Brad in the race for last place, so this was arguably Beans Corps biggest win since 2018. It wasn’t easy, it definitely wasn’t pretty, but a win is a win is a win. Shoutout to Beanso for making the waiver wire pickup of the week. Rhamondre Stevenson went for 25 and potentially saved Brendan’s season. The other waiver wire pickup of the week was also made by Beanso with the Colts D dropping 14 on the beleaguered Jags. Hell, even Chris Boswell scored 12. Clearly, Brendan is seeing things more clearly the last week or so and that’s dangerous. Perhaps he knocked the dust off the ol “Bean’s Book of Secrets”. Unfortunately, it was not the Nyhiem Hines game, or the Zach Moss game for that matter, but it didn’t matter. Justin Herbert had a dud. Mike Evans scored a late 40-yard TD to save what would’ve otherwise been a typical Mike Evans game. Anyway that you put it, Beans has to feel good after getting off the schneid, and looks to double up his personal winning streak in an absolutely massive game against Brent this week.
#7. Norse Horse – Kris Blaine (Previous Ranking: 9) This couldn’t be the Pat Freiermuth game that we got last week? Sadly, the Steeler’s rookie TE was unable to miraculously rally the Nordics for the second straight week as our boy dropped a close one to Abie, making his record 4-6. Things looked promising for Kris for much of Sunday, but then SNF happened (more on that later). KB got underwhelming performances from his RB trio of Aaron Jones, Myles Gaskin and Lenny Fournette, but the trio was able to outscore Freiermuth and Cole Beasley. Another staple of the Packers offense, Davante Adams had a tough one as not much went right for the entire GB offense in the snowy confines of Lambeau. Josh Allen had an alright 20 points, but you’d expect more from a Bills QB who led his team to 45 smackaroos against my lowly NY Jets. Can’t say I didn’t see that one coming. Kris’s best performance of the week came from CeeDee Lamb, who grabbed 2 TDs vs the Falcons. Nothing on his bench really would’ve turned this game in Kris’s favor, so he can’t really beat himself up to badly. Rest up kiddo, a massive matchup with Jack awaits in week 11.
#6. The Martians – Ryan O’Connell (Previous Ranking: 6) Alright Marzy. The eternal league underdog, our TikTok superstar was able to finally end his longtime losing streak with a relatively easy victory against Tommy-no-longer-so-hotty. This game would’ve been a larger margin of victory had Ryan not started Russell Wilson in his first game back from a hand injury. His 5 points was nearly 3x less than Tannehill’s 18 on the bench. Stefon Diggs and Antonio Gibson finally broke out of prolonged slumps, each going for 20+ and scoring a combined 3 TDs. 2 of those came from Gibson against the Bucs defense, however, who only could muster 6 pts against the Footballers of Washington. Another week, another touchdown for Melvin Gordon. He’s destined for Canton at this rate. Mark Andrews had a rock-solid game and is a must-start TE every week. Finally rounding otr Ryan’s squad were a few mediocre WR performances from Scary Terry, Diontae Johnson and Christian Kirk. All 3 scored 8-9 which is not great, but not exactly duds either. Looking ahead, Ryan has suddenly launched himself back onto the “In the Hunt” graphic for one of the League’s WC spots. He looks to stay hot against and ice-cold Commish.
#5. Buffalo Bonez – Thomas Antonello (Previous Ranking: 3) The Buffalo’s couldn’t extend their winning ways, dropping a tough one to the Martians coming off of last week’s top performance. One could say that Tommy Bonez got boned by Lamar Jackson, DeVonta Freeman, Hollywood Brown and the rest of the Ravens on Thursday night. All 4 parties were guilty of stinking it up against the ‘Phins. To be completely transparent here, I like to think of myself as one of the more insightful fantasy minds there is… but I had no idea DeVonta Freeman was still kicking in the league. Our boy also fell victim of the Will Fuller effect, who hasn’t at this point? Donovan Peoples Jones, one of last week’s breakout stars, earns his way into the starting lineup for his efforts and on que reverts to his normal self, which is to say he stunk. That’s why we don’t overreact to one-week explosions folks. Darren Waller was finally back, but sadly not the production you come to expect from one of the games top TEs. Justin Jefferson had another nice performance, something often said in these rankings. Plus, the dynamic duo of Najee and Ekeler rolled on for another week, but it was all too little, too late to matter. I’m afraid the doomsday trade for Calvin Ridley may be the end of Bonez as we know it. Tommy has to turn it around in a big way in week 12. Fortunately he has an easy one against Brad on the schedule.
#4. Vibrant Vignali’s – Max Cohan (Previous Ranking: 5) Seriously Max, I’m getting sick of your shit. Just keep one name throughout the year and let it be. I bet by the time this is published, Max will change his name to “Leider Lederhosen’s” or some dumb shit like that. Anyway, rant over. Congrats on beating me this week. I royally sucked and you didn’t. Why did it have to be D’Ernest Johnson and Jamal Agnew? This guy Jamal Agnew in particular is apparently a WR for the Jaguars. Well, here’s the thing. He had 0 catches on Sunday, but ran the ball 3 times, including a 66 yard TD. I mean, what kind of bullshit is that? Christian McCaffrey is back healthy which means even when he sucks, he still gets 20+ points. Max’s team is actually pretty filthy on paper with Rodgers, McCaffrey, Swift and Kelce. That’s a hell of a top 4. He’s got absolutely nothing out of the WR spot however after the very hit or miss Mike Williams. Anyway, I don’t know if this is a positive write-up or a negative one, I think I’m just bitter. Max not only has a big dong, but he got the better of me this week. Some guys just have it all.
#3. HOCKEYPRO69 – Abie Leider (Previous Ranking: 4) Watch out now. If Abie gets this Patrick Mahomes for the rest of the season, he may be allll the way back. 5 touchdowns against Da Raiderrrrs and 36 tic-tacs went a long way in helping Abie get back on track against the Nordics. Finally, the 69ers were on the right side of some injury news, as AJ Dillon jumps into the RB1 spot for the Packers while Aaron Jones is on the mend a couple weeks. He, James Robinson and my main man Michael Carter will make a young, formidable RB core. Jeudy, Pittman and Crowder all kind of underwhelmed, but D Hop should be back next week to help. This one could’ve been an even bigger blowout had Abie started the right defense, the Cowboys against Atlanta was the obvious play over a Sam Darnold-less Panthers squad v Arizona. Whatever, that’s about the only negative thing I can say about you Abe. I don’t know how to tie this in, but I have to point out TJ Hockenson’s goose egg, not that it mattered. That at least makes me feel a little better about Mike Geisicki.
#2. The Flandrew’s – Brent Gotkin (Previous Ranking: 1) Brent, the biggest ego in fantasy, just got son’d by his lifelong pal Jack. As a result, has dropped out of the #1 spot in Da Commish’s power rankings. That’s gotta sting just a little bit. You wanna be the best? Well, you gotta beat the best. The Flandrew’s had big weeks from usual culprits, Dak Prescott and Zeke hammered home 45 points against the Falcons, while Cooper Kupp caught a million passes again on MNF against the Niners. Even James Conner kept alive his TD streak, the guy is a freaking monster. Sorry for forgetting, it’s been such a long time, but some smart guy took him late on draft day and then inexplicably traded him for Corey Davis after like 3 weeks. Wonder who that was? Anywho, that’s about all that went right for Brent on Sunday. The rest of his team, not so much. Ravens D only scoring 4 against the Dolphins is freaking pathetic. Amari Cooper, AJ Brown and DJ Moore did the thing where they don’t catch many passes. Tough for WRs to score when that happens. At least Brent played the right TE again with Pitts outscoring Goeddert, but neither performance is worth writing home about. Looking ahead, Brent is in for a dousy of a week 11, facing off against the red-hot (for his standards) Beans Corp. Something tells me our man won’t be a happy camper come Tuesday morning, stay tuned.
#1. Jonathan Taylor Thomas 2.0 – Jack Staub (Previous Ranking: 2) Honestly, is anyone even shocked by this one? This guy Jack must’ve unlocked the secret to being a fantasy God because every button he’s pushed as GM this season has been the correct one. Hey bud, you mind sharing your secret? Or at least wanna throw me Deebo Samuel? I mean seriously, this guy was a 9th round draft pick in August and is somehow WR3 in standard half PPR scoring. What’s even worse is Jack also is sandwiching Deebo between the WR2, Tyreek Hill, and WR4, Ja’Marr Chase. Never seen anything like that. For good measure, let’s throw the RB1 on the squad, namesake Jonathan Taylor. Add George Kittle, Tom Brady Corrdarelle Patterson… I can go on and on but you get the gist. Jack has assembled a Death Squad from top to bottom and until someone can end the monstrous winning streak he’s been on, his spot atop the Power Rankings is safe. For my own personal gain, I hope that day comes this week against the Nordics. But I’m willing to bet it doesn’t.
Biggest Rise: Norse Horse Biggest Fall: South Jersey 4th & Schlong/Buffalo Bonez
Well there you have it, another week down. It’s getting super dicey with 9 out of the 10 teams seemingly in the mix for only 6 spots. I have some deep seeded inner demons to work out as I try to push through the past 2 week slog of absolute suckage. I promise you all I will be better, and quickly. Anyway, week 11 kicks off in 24 hours with one of the worst matchups you can possibly imagine, Pats-Falcons. Pats are going to win this game by at least 2 scores so there’s really no point to watching. But as your fearless leader, I have a commitment to you, your squads and this League, so watch I will. Let’s hope Joe Flacco keeps me sane on Sunday or I might not make it to week 12.
We are past the halfway point of the season. Good news for me, bad news for people who have fun playing fantasy football. Make it stop, please. Since we are more than 50% of the way through the season, I think it would be fun to look back at the draft and see what went right and what went wrong. Spoiler – if your name starts with the letter B everything went wrong.
I am going to go through the first ten rounds and analyze the best and worst pick based on what we know now. Remember, I am doing this for you. This is going to be painful for me. The things I do for The League.
Round 1
Christian McCaffrey (Beans)
Dalvin Cook (Andrew)
Derrick Henry (Abie)
Alvin Kamara (Max)
Ezekiel Elliot (Brent)
Austin Ekeler (Thomas)
Jonathan Taylor (Jack)
Davante Adams (Ryan)
Saquon Barkley (Brad)
Travis Kelce (Kris)
If I was writing this a couple weeks ago, the player I would name as the best pick in this round is obvious – Derrick Henry. D Henry scored less than 7 points in week 8, didn’t play at all in week 9 and is still RB1 on the year! King Henry may be back in time to lead Abie to a championship, but it’ll be increasingly difficult to make the playoffs without him in the first place! J Tay at the 7th pick was clearly the best move in round 1. Jack has been apart of the Taylor Gang since he was a mere little rookie. It is finally paying off, and then some! Some potential names that Jack could’ve picked instead of Taylor: Barkley, Kelce, Jones, Chubb & Gibson. Jack’s season could look mighty different if he didn’t have RB2 on the year.
Worst pick is, as you all guessed, Barkley. Brad took a gamble and, similar to most of the bets I make, it didn’t pay off. Brad wouldn’t be spending each night practicing standup to Waylon if Barkley returned to anything close to 2019 form. Barkley got off to a slow start, had two solid games and hasn’t played since. There are 42 better options at RB so far this year. Absolute nightmare. It happens. Just ask Kris last year. He had Barkley too. Or me with David Johnson in 2019.
Round 2
Aaron Jones (Kris)
Nick Chubb (Brad)
Antonio Gibson (Ryan)
Tyreek Hill (Jack)
Najee Harris (Thomas)
Joe Mixon (Brent)
Calvin Ridley (Max)
DeAndre Hopkins (Abie)
Clyde Edwards-Helaire (Andrew)
Stefon Diggs (Beans)
Congrats, Jack! You started the draft off real hot. While there are some fantastic picks here – did you know Joe Mixon is RB3? The WR depth this year was/is ridiculous. While Harris and Mixon are having great years, Jack has JTay as we spoke about, and a surprise 50 year old breakout player that we can discuss later. Jack could’ve gotten cute and taken Ridley or the historically fantastic Hopkins. Instead, he took the obvious choice and it’s paid off! T Hill is WR2 on the the year. Even more impressive considering the Chiefs offense hasn’t looked as sharp in recent weeks.
Obviously the worst pick is CEH. Andrew sort of needed to take him here, so I won’t criticize him for the pick, but CEH objectively stinks. RB51. Horrible. Andrew could’ve taken James Robinson. He also could have reached for Chris Carson like a certain owner of http://www.mustbesunday.com did. If he didn’t take a RB with the pick, Andrew would’ve almost certainly have drafted Metcalf, as he did a few picks later in round 3. With Metcalf going in 2 instead of 3 he then could’ve taken Robinson. He also could’ve forgone RB’s in this area and he likely would have picked AJ Brown, who is having a disappointing year himself.
Round 3
Chris Carson (Beans)
DK Metcalf (Andrew)
James Robinson (Abie)
Darren Waller (Max)
AJ Brown (Brent)
Justin Jefferson (Thomas)
George Kittle (Jack)
Terry McLaurin (Ryan)
Keenan Allen (Brad)
Allen Robinson (Kris)
Oh man what an ugly round. I think we are going to look back at these names as soon as next year and be shocked that some of these names went as high as they did. Best pick is clearly DK. Way to go, comish. The Seattle pass catcher is the only player taken in the third round who is top ten at their position, aside from Waller. Waller is five. This means there are four TE’s better than Waller. Which means he is a disaster third round pick.
He’s not the worst though! That belongs to Allen Robinson III. WR57. Poor Kris. He could’ve had CeeDee Lamb, Mike Evans, Amari Cooper or Adam Thielen. If the football god’s aligned and sent Robinson to a team with a good quarterback for the first time in his career he could be in store for a big second half. Instead he’s still wasting away in Chicago. Despite me listing all of the good WR’s that Kris could’ve taken, there is a RB that he could have grabbed in the fourth round that would’ve been even more of a disaster …
Round 4
David Montgomery (Kris)
Robert Woods (Brad)
CeeDee Lamb (Ryan)
J.K. Dobbins (Jack)
Mike Evans (Thomas)
Amari Cooper (Brent)
Adam Thielen (Max)
Patrick Mahomes (Abie)
Chris Godwin (Andrew)
DeAndre Swift (Beans)
Go Beans! I nailed the DeAndre Swift pick. Although he isn’t on my team anymore, he’s having a fantastic year and was one of the few semblances of hope and happiness I’ve had the last few months. When we discuss round 5 you’ll see why this was such a critical pick. Swift is RB12 on the year, which means he’s an absolute must start every week despite the fact the Lions consistently seem to be playing a different sport than their opponents.
This one is, unfortunately, too easy. Dobbins went down literally within minutes of this pick. What horrible luck! Jack could’ve had Swift! However, if he took Swift he likely wouldn’t have picked Mike Davis, which means he never would’ve landed Patterson. Still though, your fourth round pick never touching the field in the regular season is tough. Not Jack’s fault and unless he is secretly spending time with Doc Brown he wouldn’t have known Dobbins was about to go down for the year.
Round 5
Miles Sanders (Beans)
Josh Jacobs (Andrew)
Julio Jones (Abie)
Kareem Hunt (Max)
Cooper Kupp (Brent)
Chase Edmonds (Thomas)
Tyler Lockett (Jack)
Diontae Johnson (Ryan)
Brandon Aiyuk (Brad)
Myles Gaskin (Kris)
Two people with the same name spelt differently taken in this round. Weird! I wonder if that’s ever happened before. There are some great picks and some horrible picks here in round 5. This is when the empanadas started hitting and brains turned to mush. Brent was clearly eating his brain food because he took the WR1 in the fifth round. Cooper Kupp! Who woulda thought. The third WR Brent took but first in his heart. No one else to even consider as the best pick. Best pick of the draft.
Although there’s no shortage of bad, Julio takes the cake as the worst pick of the fifth round. We all know Abie loves to gamble. This is one bet that didn’t hit. Julio is WR71 on the year. He’s missed a number of games and was just added to the IR yesterday. As stated, WR is deep so there were many realistic options here for Abie … including Cooper Kupp! Ouch! Brandon Aiyuk is an honorable mention here. I’m giving it to Julio because he was earlier in the round and a bit more of a gamble. Also, Aiyuk will be playing the next three weeks and Julio won’t be I do respect that Aiyuk just kind of stopped doing his job for a while though. I will show solidarity by doing the same.
Round 6
Josh Allen (Kris)
Kyler Murray (Brad)
Mark Andrews (Ryan)
Mike Davis (Jack)
Tee Higgins (Bones)
DJ Moore (Brent)
Kyle Pitts (Max)
T.J Hockenson (Abie)
Kenny Golladay (Andrew)
Courtland Sutton (Beans)
Oh man this is another baaaaad round. I guess the best pick is Mark Andrews? TE2 on the year. Fourth one to go. Kelce in the first round, Waller and Kittle in the third. That’s a great value. Good job, Ryan. You nailed this pick. Courtland Sutton was looking like the best value in the sixth round to start the year, but because he’s on my team his star has dimmed in recent weeks. But is life.
Worst pick is interesting. Mike Davis has been a humongous disappointment. He is unstartable. However, as stated, getting Davis required Jack to handcuff him with Patterson, who in turn has randomly turned into a fantasy star. With that in mind, I’m going to give it to Kenny G. The Comish fell victim to Kenny’s trap. It’s a tale as old as time. Drafters see Kenny’s objective talent at catching footballs and running routes and think he’s the guy for their team. They fail to remember that Kenny doesn’t play football very often, which turns into a problem for their fantasy team. Andrew could’ve rolled the dice on a player who is shoo-in to win Offensive Rooke of the Year. More on that next round …
Round 7
Robby Anderson (Beans)
Darrel Henderson Jr (Andrew)
Jerry Jeudy (Abie)
Aaron Rodgers (Max)
Javonte Williams (Brent)
Lamar Jackson (Bones)
Ja’Maar Chase (Jack)
Russell Wilson (Ryan)
Sony Michel (Brad)
Juju Smith-Schuster (Kris)
Yuck! I really like Brent’s pick in this round. No one could’ve predicted than Melvin Gordon would revive his career in Denver, which has undoubtedly hurt Williams fantasy value. Huge pick if this was a dynasty league, but alas, it is not. Obtaining RB11 (Henderson) in the 7th round is unheard of, but so is drafting WR3. Ladies and gentleman, I am decreeing the best pick of the seventh round to be Ja’Maar Chase! He likely would’ve went a couple rounds earlier but he dropped some passes in the preseason. Everyone except Jack is stupid. That’s what I’m gathering from writing this. Some other WR’s hanging around here that Jack could’ve taken with this pick include Juju, Tyler Boyd and OBJ. My man dodged several bullets. Matrix ass guy. I’ve never seen any of those movies but I understand there is a lot of slow motion bullet dodging in them.
Juju is out for the rest of the year so that’s obvious – but I’m actually going to give it to Sony Michel. Kris was able to include Juju in a trade – to me. Brad ended up having to drop the LA running back. He started him a couple times and never got anything out of him.
Round 8
Damien Harris (Kris)
Logan Thomas (Brad)
Tyler Boyd (Ryan)
Chase Claypool (Jack)
Odell Beckham Jr (Bones)
Dak Prescott (Brent)
Will Fuller V (Max)
Raheem Mostert (Abie)
DeVonta Smith (Andrew)
Lavishka Shenault (Beans)
Uhhhh I guess the best pick here is Dak? Harris is having a nice year too. This round is tough. I’ll give it to Dak. Good job, Brent.
The Will Fuller pick was stupid but I gotta give it to Mostert. Again, no way to know he was going to be out for the year, but he is, and this is a Look Back At It so that’s what I’m doing. This is a bad round I don’t want to look at it anymore.
Round 9
Justin Herbert (Beans)
Brandin Cooks (Andrew)
Michael Thomas (Abie)
Zack Moss (Max)
Corey Davis (Brent)
Noah Fant (Thomas)
Kenyan Drake (Jack)
Curtis Samuel (Ryan)
Jaylen Waddle (Brad)
Jarvis Landry (Kris)
As lovely as it has been to have Justin Herbert, I’m going to give best pick in this round to Andrew for taking Brandin Cooks. Cooks is lowkey WR18 on the year. Again, this means he’s a must start every week without thinking. All without having Taylor under center for most of the games! Impressive. Andrew could’ve been a homer and taken Corey Davis. Instead, he took the better player and it paid off. Now, Brent is hoping he stays the course in the second half.
Worst pick goes to Abie for taking yet another gamble on Michael Thomas. Can’t Guard Mike if he isn’t playing. This was as dicey of a draft pick as they can come. If he came back and returned anything close to true form it would’ve been the pick of the century. Instead, Abie wasted a pick he could’ve used on Marquez “The Truth” Calloway. In the words of Swiper The Fox, “Ohhhh man!”
Round 10
Leonard Fournette (Kris)
Ronald Jones II (Brad)
Melvin Gordon (Ryan)
Deebo Samuel (Jack)
DJ Chark Jr (Thomas)
Trey Sermon (Brent)
Mike Williams (Max)
AJ Dillon (Abie)
Jonnu Smith (Andrew)
Marquez Calloway (Beans)
This is a fun round! Ryan got clowned for drafting and rostering and starting Melvin Gordon but he’s been nothing short of good finding himself at RB14 at the time of writing this. Regular Season Lenny is right behind him at RB15. Huge values this last late in the draft. You know what’s cooler than a million dollars? A billion dollars. That’s what Jack found himself with by drafting Deebo Samuel of all folks in the tenth round. WR4. Unreal! Is Jack extremely skilled at drafting or is he lucky? The dude spends his days crunching numbers and cooking books both for his current real life job and MustBeSunday.com. I think he knows what he’s doing. Wow!
As horrible as Ronald Jones has been, DJ Chark is out for the year. Sorry Bones. Whole lotta nothing for him. You shoulda taken Deebo Samuel!
That was fun! Let’s do it again at the end of the season. Congrats on Cooper Kupp, Brent! Sorry for your loses Abie and Brad.
![MY FAVOURITE SCENES #8] – Requiem for a Dream – Benrhayward](https://benrhayward.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/cf346-requiem_for_a_dream_amputated_arm.jpg)
Must Be Sunday 