Beans

This Draft is Going to be Weird

It’s August 9th so naturally I’ve done 15,000 mock drafts. I am seeing the board extremely clearly. 20/20 vision. I know what kicker you’re going to take. I know why you like that certain player and I know why you shouldn’t. I know who is going to start the quarterback rush. I know who is going early on Amon-Ra St. Brown. I know who is going to be diagnosed with Will Fuller Syndrome first. To quote Lil Wayne, “I can see the end in the beginning.”

Looking Ahead: The 2023 Draft

I’m sitting here bored as shit because I got the ‘vid. Everyone knows I had an illustrious streak of negative test after negative test. Everyone knows this. In the nearly two years since the virus came in like a wrecking ball I’ve had that swab suck up my lil nostrils countless times. Always negative. Then January 19, 2021 happens. All good streaks must come to an end. Just look up what happened on July 17, 1941.

Power Rankings: Week 13 (Tier List Part 2!!!!)

Swagger Back Video Clips - Find & Share on Vlipsy — Da Commish gives a passionate post game interview after defeating HOCKEYPRO69 and clinching his 3rd playoff appearnace in 4 years

I think I got my swagger back. Ohhhhh. Ohhhhhhh. The fantasy playoffs are almost here and I’m as giddy as a little schoolboy. Plus, I also clinched a spot in the postseason. Go me! Anyway, since I enjoy writing these shorter Tier Lists better than the full team Power Rankings, I figured I’m just going to keep doing it. Don’t like it? Fuck you, pay me. I do this shit for the love of The League, fantasy football and your enjoyment. Oh, and the belt. I’m bringing that shit home.

Power Rankings: Week 12 (Tier List!!)

MY FAVOURITE SCENES #8] – Requiem for a Dream – Benrhayward — A #dead Commish weeps silently at the memory of his once proud winning streak. Wins are now hard to come by.

What up folks? Hope everyone’s Thanksgiving went better than mine. Considering I was the lowest scoring team for the 3rd time in 4 weeks, its not hard to believe that yours wasn’t. I am sad. But, I wanted to keep things fresh and interesting on the blog (coupled with the fact that I don’t want to dive too deep into my team’s pathetic performance), so I figured I’d do this week’s Power Rankings a little differently. Introducing, Da Commish’s Official Tier List. Similarly, to the Official Power Rankings, this tier list will highlight each team’s strengths and flaws, while allowing for a quick comparison and grouping of teams into similarly ranked tiers. Honestly, I’m just doing things differently this week to prevent me from jumping off the deep end. I know, it’s sad that fantasy football has ruined my life. But this is the life we’ve chosen.

Power Rankings: Week 11

If it involves family food and football count me in iPhone 6/6S Case | Hatsline.com — Ditto

Gobble-gobble, motherf*ckers. Turkey day is finally here, my 2^nd favorite holiday after Draft Day of course! Back in 1492 or whatever when God created Thanksgiving, he did so to celebrate the 3 F’s: family, food, and football. However, I don’t think even God could’ve predicated that a fourth F would quickly come along and trump the importance of the other 3 combined. I’m speaking of course about fantasy. This Thanksgiving, I’d like to quickly reflect on why I’m so thankful for fantasy. It has given me so many great memories of random NFL games over the years I would otherwise have no interest in. It has taught me the importance of personal finances and budgeting, particularly as it relates to FAAB. It has bought me my single most prized possession, the belt, which I rightfully earned as your 2019 Fantasy Champion, only to relinquish to Brent last year. I’ve been on a quest to get it back ever since. Most importantly, however, is that this “game” has kept me connected as a part of all your lives, for better or worse, for the better part of a decade now. Sure, we may now all live scattered across the tri-state area and no longer see each other with the frequency I would like, but I know where to find y’all come Sunday’s at 1:00 in the fall. I’ve got a lot of shit to do and not a lot of time to do it so I’m going to keep this one rather short….

Power Rankings: Week 10

This is Mike Geisicki. In case you didn’t know, he scored 0 points on Thurday. I am sad.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH. The Sunday Scaries turned ever scarier for several League members in Week 10. It seems that myself, Brent and Abie are falling apart at the most inopportune time, while League bottom feeders Max, Ryan, Kris and Brendan are peaking simultaneously. Suddenly, everyone’s in the mix (except Brad but we’ll discuss him more later) and the waning weeks of the regular season are more important than ever. This is honestly when The League is at its best, when everyone has shit to play for and we all live and die with every point, every yard and every score change. Anyway, we’re all gearing up for what should be the greatest stretch run in LeagueStory with seemingly 9 teams in the mix for 6 playoff spots. Let’s do this…

Look Back At It: Draft Edition

We are past the halfway point of the season. Good news for me, bad news for people who have fun playing fantasy football. Make it stop, please. Since we are more than 50% of the way through the season, I think it would be fun to look back at the draft and see what went right and what went wrong. Spoiler – if your name starts with the letter B everything went wrong.

Power Rankings: Week 9

Tyler Boyd, seen here running with the football after catching a pass… something he couldn’t manage to do on Sunday while in Da Commish’s starting lineup

**Disclaimer: The bottom 5 spots of the power rankings were written before the MNF game under the assumption that the ESPN projections were accurate and that I would beat Kris. I’m too lazy to re-write what I already have and the result of our game has not changed the rankings whatsoever, so enjoy.**

Power Rankings: Week 8

Derrick Henry suits up at practice, hoping to give it a go for a week 9 matchup against the JTT’s

*Disclaimer: I’m writing this introduction as of Tuesday night, 8:19 p.m. EST

Oh my fuck. Seriously, my head is spinning from all of today’s activity. Maybe y’all trade deadline’s confused, today’s is only the NFL’s. The League’s deadline is not for another month. A lot of bullshit happened today. Listen to the podcast if you want a breakdown of everything. I’m only here to talk teams and results. So let’ start talking, starting with the worst team yet again…

The NFL Trade Deadline Article

The NFL trade deadline is a few days a way. Yay. I guess. The NFL deadline is traditionally, by far, the most boring in all of sports. The week leading up to the deadlines in the MLB and NBA are jampacked with wild rumors and actual action. Remember, Scherzer confirmed to San Diego only to get shipped off to their rivals in LA? Wild! NFL – eh not so much. However, we can make the trade deadline a bit more fun when analyzing the fantasy implications of potential moves. Let’s get into it!